help Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Phelps' Sacred Mission: To Sell Japanese Cars In China
Michael Phelps Inc.™® is returning to Beijing, this time to provide every man, woman and child with a brand new car. Expect gas here to be $9 per gallon by next year....
The Year In ... The Olympics
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: The Beijing Olympics....
Some Olympian Got High As A Kite, Trashed A Hotel Room
This cinches it. I definitely have to start reading gossip pages more. No sex this time, but see if you can crack the code on this blind item anyway:...
Michael Phelps' Funky Face Is SI's Sportsman of Year
In case you haven't heard, Olympic water boy Michael Phelps is SI's "Sportsman of the Year" this year, for his astounding 8 gold medals in Beijing. It's not a surprise pick, really, leaving most of the scrutiny for Phelps' spooky-ass Terri Schiavo face currently seen in the online version. According...
Michael Phelps Doesn't Need Your $5,000,000
We still have no conclusive evidence that explains the Michael Phelps Phenomenon—after all, he is just a swimmer—but perhaps our esteemed colleague Señor Tuffy Pants, M.D., does need to reconsider his conclusion that Aqua Boy is not "exceptionally rich." The guy turns down more multi-million endorse...
Wherein We Probe the Phelps Phenomenon on DUAN
So Michael Phelps has chosen the Vegas nightclub worker and oft-naked Caroline Pal (the one on the right) to take home to mother after two months of dating. (The link will take you to proof of the oft-naked part if nothing else.) We don't have to imagine Mom's surprise face; we saw it eight times or...
New Guitar Hero Ad Gives You A Whole New Reason To Hate Tom Cruise
We mentioned this only in passing last week, because a) it was Friday afternoon, b) we didn't have an embeddable version of the video yet, and c) it's pretty embarrassing for everyone involved, including the viewer. You've probably seen Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps and Kobe Bryant bring...
Michael Phelps' Propensity for Ho-Clocking Follows Him Everywhere
Michael Phelps has declared he's single, even though it was previously suspected that he's been hanging around with a former Miss California a little too often for them not to be exclusively dating. And according to Page Six there are plenty of women still willing to throw themselves at him regardle...
Michael Phelps Gill Nets Him A Keeper
We can forgive Michael Phelps for tapping a far-off state for girlfriend material, and for picking a Miss California runner up. But what's unforgivable is sporting a Tigers cap when everyone knows you were born and raised in Baltimore. Attending the University of Michigan is no excuse; you support t...
Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...
Michael Phelps Will Abort This Interview If You Ask Him Inane Questions
Gold medal winning swim swordsman Michael Phelps is still suffering through his whirlwind media tour and did a painfully uncomfortable on-air interview with 790 The Ticket's Dan Le Batard earlier today. Le Batard, acting in full-on instigator mode, tried to engage Phelps into some playful q-and-a'in...
Michael Phelps Outshone By Tina Fey in Quest for Comedic Gold
When Michael Phelps took center stage in Beijing, he dominated the competition in the pool over and over. His ability to step up at the Olympics, on the biggest stage of his sport, was unprecedented. But when he took the stage last night in New York as host of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, it was clear...
Braylon Edwards vs. Michael Phelps: Who You Got?
Braylon Edwards and Michael Phelps are top athletes in their sport. But which is better? It's like comparing apples and oranges. Now Edwards and Phelps are combining their apples and oranges into a bet to see who is better. ...
Michael Phelps Continues His Medal-Winning, Indiscriminate Handsiness
The stories of Michael Phelps' wet-suited cocksmanship are plentiful and ostensibly ridiculous. Throughout his gold medal run, it was impossible not to go a day without an email floating in about Phelps' conquests (or attempted conquests) so it's not at all surprising to read Radar's story about Phe...
Michael Phelps' Abs To Join Not Ready For Prime Time Players
As predicted in this Michael Phelps post at the end of his medal run, Michael Phelps will, in fact, be making an appearance on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live on Sept. 13th. What I didn't expect was that NBC would force him to warble through a hokey monologue and host the damn thing. Give...
Michael Phelps Making It Rain With Endorsement Loot
Michael Phelps, not even unpacked from Beijing, has already purchased a $1.69 million condo in Baltimore, complete with rooftop terrace, private screening room and robot butlers. (The latter wasn't in the online listing; I just threw that in there). Of course Speedo has already promised him a $1 mil...
Michael Phelps Slash Fiction Is Here! (It's Too Late To Run)
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Beard Apology Not Enough For CNN, The World
Amanda Beard apologized on Thursday for her recent comments about Michael Phelps, but not before she was raked over the coals by a crack panel of highly-respected journalists on CNN. OK, actually they're three D-list characters I'd never heard of. But it was CNN, which promises to get back to that w...
How Will 8 Gold Medals Help Michael Phelps' Prodigious Coozing?
Throughout the Olympics, there have been many variations on the email like the one below regarding America's trophy-headed swim king, Michael Phelps: "went to michigan the same time as michael phelps and stories of his douchiness towards girls seem to pop up with any mention of his name. apparently ...
Introducing The Smart Look For Back To School
Notice to any women who are hoping for hot multiple gold medal sex with a certain big-eared swimmer in the coming weeks; Michael Phelps' sperm are not to be trifled with. As this T-shirt by The Hotness Factory clearly illustrates, his boys can swim; they are pretty much the Navy Seals of spermatozoa...