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What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
OK, so you’ve already learned about all the things we shoved inside ourselves last year. But what about our dangly bits? Rest assured, we punished them....

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em><em></em>
Deadspin’s Christmas Day tradition returns. It is time to sound the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. Below are the strangest, most awkwardly shaped, and least pleasant objects that America has shoved into its various holes. God bless us, eve...

Welcome To Mike Pence's Living Hell
Mike Pence, who will be spending the next three months paying for the grievous sins of a past life and also probably this one, forced his mother to hold a piece of chicken on a plane yesterday evening....

How To Live With Roommates Without Being A Jerk
There’s nothing more freeing than walking around your house naked, and without having to worry whether someone will come home and crash your personal time. Unfortunately, it’s more of a privilege than a reality for most of us. Life is hard, and necessity means splitting the rent with other people if...

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Ah, the penis. That most comical and vulnerable of body parts. It was a bad year for all of us, but for the approximately 1.2 billionth year in a row since the emergence of sexual differentiation, it was a particularly rough year for groins. This selection of real, horrible injuries proves that Murp...

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
It’s Christmas Day, and you know what that means: time to plumb the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. We’re looking for the weirdest, least explicable, and most awkward objects that America has shoved inside its various holes. God bless us, ev...

How To Meet Her Parents
Is there anything more terrifying than meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time? No matter how comfortable you are in your relationship, the mere presence of mom and dad is enough turn even the most confident guy into a nervous wreck. Take a deep breath and watch the video above for a fe...

The Gentleman's Guide To Making Her Come Without Using Your Dick
It’s time to be honest about something women don’t talk about much: the orgasm deficit. A large majority of women can’t reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina intercourse alone—as few as 7 percent can climax regularly from this method—and, worse, some men don’t seem to even realize it! Too often, well-in...

Rovell Forced To Give On-Air Apology For "Serious Error In Judgment"
After the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight on May 2, Darren Rovell attempted to explain to ESPN viewers the diverse range of mega-rich people in attendance. One of those people, we were told, was “loan shark” Bobby Freedman. Here’s the actual video of Rovell’s on-air appearance from 1:40 a.m. ET on May 3:...

Don't Believe The Hype: Mayweather-Pacquiao Is Not Good Vs. Evil
The many failings of Floyd Mayweather to follow the basic rules on how to be a good human being are well documented. He’s a serial woman beater who once evicted his father and pleaded no contest to threatening his children. His odiousness speaks for itself. But his competitor, Manny Pacquiao, is bus...

The Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao Fight Is Officially On
Floyd Mayweather Jr. will face Manny Pacquiao on May 2nd in Las Vegas, bringing to reality a fight for which boxing fans have clamored for years (and one which is likely to be terrible for numerous reasons.)...

Mayweather Vs. Pacquiao Is (Maybe) Happening, Five Years Too Late
Manny Pacquiao has reportedly agreed to two of the key obstacles holding up his long-awaited showdown with Floyd Mayweather, Jr. First, a 60/40 split of the revenue, with Pacquiao's side taking the short end; second, a fight date on May 2, Cinco De Mayo weekend, a popular date for pay per view cards...
