hey Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vikings Hire Teen Consultant To Teach Them How To Be Cool
What’s up YouTubers—you know who’s “on fleek” right now? The Minnesota Vikings are, or will be. The team has hired Jonah Stillman as a “Gen Z advisor.”...
Real Big Dumbass Writes Real Dumb Column About Michael Bennett
Sometimes you run across a column that is just so plainly stupid and written in bad faith that it’s hard to muster the indignation necessary to give it a proper critique. How do you even begin to tell the guy eating his own feces that eating his own feces is bad?...
The Proposed Brock Lesnar-Jon Jones Superfight Is Now Part Of A WWE Storyline
Jon Jones was still in the octagon when he identified and challenged his next preferred opponent....
Please, For The Love Of All That Is Holy And Football-Shaped, Do Not Ruin <i>Hey Arnold</i>
These days I watch my toddler nephews and nieces watch YouTube videos of adults unboxing and playing with toys for children, and wonder what level of the brain meme I’m living on. Sometimes I poke and probe—what could be interesting about this? Why is watching this more fun than playing with the ver...
Popular Twin Vloggers Are The Sons Of Former Romanian World Champion Gymnast
This week, former Vine star and current Disney Channel actor Jake Paul was revealed to be a horrendous nightmare of a neighbor. In some of his videos are a a set of twins named Marcus and Lucas Dobre. Though they regularly collaborate with Paul, the Dobres have a much more notable name helping them:...
Meteorologist Enlists Son To Own Him On Live Broadcast
Las Vegas Fox station KVVU’s Ted Pretty found himself assigned to fireworks-biz coverage yesterday afternoon, and the meteorologist’s interaction with a back-talking young boy made the clip an internet sensation. It’s all a setup, of course; that’s Pretty’s son doing the ownage, as is made pretty ob...
Roberto Aguayo Is Having Trouble With His Accuracy Again
Roberto Aguayo, the most accurate kicker in college football turned second-round disappointment for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is still struggling to kick the football through the goalposts....
He Also Owns An EdTV Hat
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The <i>Real</i> 2017 Name Of The Year Is...
Last month, the voting public selected Boats Botes as the 2017 Name of the Year. Congratulations, voting public, on choosing a wildly inferior candidate for the second time in six months! The Name of the Year High Committee held a separate vote, as the committee often does. And while we could only r...
Local Columnist Whining About Blazers' Culture Gets Roasted By GM Neil Olshey<em></em>
The Portland Trail Blazers were swept by the Golden State Warriors last night, 128-105, although practically speaking, Game 4 was over after the first five minutes. Though the Blazers got rocked, they lost to the most dominant team in basketball. It was a bit of a down season, but Damian Lillard and...
Jason Heyward's New Swing Seems To Be Working
Cubs outfielder Jason Heyward has mashed three home runs in his last four games, a feat that would have been unthinkable during his miserable 2016 season....
Former Fiancée Accuses Jazz's Jeff Withey Of Domestic Violence In Police Report
Utah Jazz center Jeff Withey has been accused of domestic violence by his former fiancée, Kennedy Summers, who filed a police report in Manhattan Beach, Calif. No charges have been filed. A representative for Manhattan Beach police did not immediately respond to requests for comment, but police spok...
Paul Heyman Says Kaddish In Preparation For Goldberg's Death At Brock Lesnar's Hands
Paul Heyman’s WWE Raw appearances remain the best reason to tune into pro wrestling on Monday nights, and the longtime Brock Lesnar valet tonight previewed a presumed imminent death for rival Goldberg at Sunday’s Wrestlemania by saying Kaddish....
And Now, A Formal Reading Of The Name Of The Year Bracket
The 2017 Name of the Year bracket has landed and, as always, the best way to properly judge entrants like Boats Botes is to say their names out loud for the world to hear. And that’s just what we’re doing in this FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL return of the Deadcast....
Presenting The 2017 Name Of The Year Bracket
Names are serious business....
Jason Heyward Rebuilt His Butt Swing From Scratch
Jason Heyward was extremely atrocious last season, the first after he signed a mammoth eight-year, $184-million contract with the Chicago Cubs. His numbers—.230/.306/.325, a measly 35 extra-base hits in 592 plate appearances—were puke, due in no small part to a janky, splayed-out, multi-stage wreck ...
Blake Swihart Appears To Have A Case Of The Yips
In baseball, there is perhaps no sadder sight than that of an otherwise healthy and capable professional player struggling to do something as simple as throwing the ball a short distance. The yips are the worst boogeyman in sports, and although it’s not clear that Red Sox catcher Blake Swihart is de...
Whatever The Hell <i>The Young Pope</i> Was, It Ruled<em></em>
If there’s one scene that best captures the sense of hallucinatory wonder of watching HBO’s The Young Pope, it’s a vision that the Pope has in the season finale....
Dan Gilbert Has Had It Up To Here With These Landlines That Won't Receive His Text Messages<em></em>
This weekend, the New York Times published an article on Dan Gilbert and his scam mortgage factory, Quicken Loans. It reads like a typical Times business article for the most part, but whenever it touches on Gilbert himself, he comes off as a paranoid business guy keen on digging up conspiracies aga...
How Did Jorge Posada Become A First-Ballot Hall Of Fame Washout?
Amid the arguing over this year’s Hall of Fame, one of the weirder potential results involves no argument at all. Unless there’s a dramatic and unexpected late break in the voting, Jorge Posada—who as of this afternoon appeared on 10 of 239 known ballots in the ballot tracker—is going to miss the fi...