hi Page 1933 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away
A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correct...
The Philles Will Crush Your Children
Here's something we missed from yesterday, via Philadelphia Will Do: It's Phillies catcher Mike Lieberthal attacking a little girl in the stands. Well, kind of. Poor kid: Guy didn't even apologize. Moral of the story: The seats at Dodger Stadium, they're way too close to the field, man....
Ricky's Canadian Debut
Ricky Williams made his Canadian Football League debut last night in a pre-season exhibition game for the Toronto Argonauts. It looks like Ricky's domination of the Canadian game is not a given. He had seven yards on four carries. And I think his numbers get even worse when you consider the exchan...
Lamenting The Loss Of Harry, Once Again
For some reason — perhaps it's the Cardinals-Cubs series tonight — but we started becoming rather nostalgic and wistful about Harry Caray today. We're not sure why. Jack Buck was always our favorite announcer anyway. Maybe it's just because we don't have many Harrys anymore; people who are liable to...
Do Not Give Frank Solich The Date Rape Drug
Remember that alleged email that circulated a while back about Ohio football coach Frank Solich and how his drunk driving arrest was actually a case of him being dosed with GHB? Well, it turns out ... it's absolutely true. The Sporting News has learned that Solich's attorneys do plan on fighting t...
BREAKING: If That's Wrong, We Don't Want To Be Right!
This just in: You really don't want to mess with Carl Monday....
You Know, He Could Be Behind You ... RIGHT NOW!
An ingenious reader put this together, the first Dilbert parody we've ever found amusing....
Sean Taylor Free To Visit All Kinds Of DJs Now
One of our favorite, quietly sublime stories of the last couple months involved Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor and his battle with a prosecutor who worked as a DJ in his spare time. (His MySpace page included the immortal self-description as a bulging-biceps, headphones-wearing prosecutor ...
Another Nasty, Evil Fan Speaks
Remember that story from the other day, when Cubs outfielder Jacque Jones was heckled by some Wrigley Field fans and were promptly berated by Jones' mother?...
In Support Of More Lego Violence
Inspired by this well-done ranking of the best five baseball fights — we agree that Nolan Ryan pounding Robin Ventura is No. 1, but Izzy Alcantara catcher-face-kick/take-on-all-comers minor league battle is one of the more underrated sports events of our lifetime — we are proud to showcase The Bat...
Let's Go Buckeyes! Yeah!
As we continue to sift through the rubble of last Thursday — a day we are perfectly comfortable with commemorating with the "Deadspin Festivus" moniker, from now into eternity — we check in again on Carl Monday, who, as always, reminds us to ask, "Are our libraries a beacon of light ... or a cessp...
I Will Joust You With My Finger, Bitch.
It's very sadly missing from the Sunday TV sports lineup, but there is a hot new sport on the horizon. It's called Finger Jousting, and it's sweeping the... okay, it's not sweeping the nation or anything else. But they do have a website. So that's step one. Here's how the sport works:...
Your All-Time Best Mascot Winner
A while back, we put together a list of the wimpiest and most unusual nicknames and mascots in sports. But earlier today, a reader sent us the team that's pretty much the hands-down winner. The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS....
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
What Not To Do On A Trampoline
To distract you from the apparently false Neil Everett rumor below, here's that trampoline basketball injury that, we agree, desperately needed its own post. Honestly, we're so glad our parents didn't have a trampoline growing up, because this totally would have happend to us....
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
Pat Robertson Could Destroy You With His Legs
A couple of days ago, we noted that CBS Sportsline's SPIN columnist Clay Travis had dug up a claim that Pat Robertson had leg-pressed 2,000 pounds. (Unlike what we wrote then, the Florida state leg-press record is 1,335, not 665; we had that wrong. Sorry.) This was, of course, ridiculous, right? T...
Searching For SpongeBob
If the movies have taught us anything, it's that Alcatraz is escape-proof. That's because of the frigid, shark-infested mile-and-a-half of San Francisco Bay that's between the notorious former federal prison and the city of San Francisco. If you're a 1940s goon, hood, mobster, mug, ruffian, thug, ...
You Know Schilling Plays Against Himself As Soon As The Game's Over
As you might have heard already, Red Sox legend/blowhard Curt Schilling loves video games so much that he had a video character of himself created for the game Everquest II. (Photo from Boston Dirt Dogs. If you defeat him, Sony donates money to the ALS foundation....
Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...