hits Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What We've Learned From The ESPN Book So Far
A copy of Those Guys Have all the Fun has landed on our desk. We're still picking through it, but here's what we've learned about our colleagues at ESPN:...

Let The ESPN Freakout Begin
Back in August, we wrote that the forthcoming ESPN book, Those Guys Have All The Fun, will make many ESPN employees crap their pants. Well, here comes the onslaught: The book's publisher has lifted the embargo on releasing details from the book. You'll certainly hear more about the "rowdiest frathou...

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

<em>Gros Coup De Hach À Deux Mains</em> Is French For This Terrifying Two-Handed Hockey Slash
http://youtu.be/inncr93Uio A fight broke out at a Quebec "beer league" in the north shore of Montreal last week, and it escalated until a player brought down a logger-style two-handed hockey slash over his opponent's head. JT from 25Stanley.com writes that the league is not pro, and "not even clos...

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

Max Pacioretty Carted Off Ice On Stretcher After Scary Zdeno Chara Hit
In the second period of tonight's Bruins-Habs game, with Montreal leading 4-0, Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara delivered this blow to Montreal wing Max Pacioretty, riding him headfirst into the stanchion between the benches....

The Hardest Hit In Last Night's Maple Leafs-Flyers Game Was In Warm-Ups
Dion Phaneuf and Mike Komisarek were dutifully going through their warm-ups before last night's game in Philadelhpia when they collided. Hard. Neither player was injured, and the Leafs went on to win, 3-2, which I guess is why the announcers are so comfortable giggling about it on-air....

Poonami: Brooklyn Canal Turns Into Literal River Of Human Shit
The Gowanus Canal, which has already tested positive for gonorrhea, ran brown with human waste after this month's tornado. It's like the eleventh plague of Egypt, only, you know, poop. [via Brownstoner]...

Bernie Kosar Has Taken His Talents to Cleveland Traffic Court
So, former Cleveland Browns QB Bernie Kosar got pulled over by the law a couple weeks back. He apparently struck a cop's motorcycle while U-Turning his Range Rover....

The University Of Miami's Jose Canseco Arrives, Shocks No One
Nevin Shapiro—an alleged Ponzi schemer and ex-University of Miami booster—is threatening to publish a tell-all book about the program. It'd be like that movie The Program, but with less James Caan and more fiduciary malfeasance. Or something along those lines....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And The Award For Excellence in Parenting, Coaching Goes To ...
By excellence, I mean "providing proof that some human beings aren't fit to parent, coach youth sports or be a parent who coaches his/her/any children in youth sports."...

Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...

A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....

Tiger Woods Accident Story Becomes Latest Email Hoax Your Dad Will Send You
Many of you have probably received a forward from a friend-of-a-friend who knows an Isleworth resident with the "real" story about how Elin and Tiger's Thanksgiving night battle went down. Here's what the bullshit story looks like....

Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....

The Man's A Menace!
Bill Murray hits spectator with tee shot at Outback ProAm, uses incident as opportunity to test new comedy material. [St. Petersburg Times]...

If Someone Hit For The Cycle And Nobody Saw It, Did It Make A Sound?
Only 17,539 were on hand in Arlington Stadium to witness Ian Kinsler become the fourth Texas Ranger to hit for the cycle in a 19-6 win over the Orioles. [NBCSports]...

The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...

The (Not Very) Fast And The Furious
Florida woman hits, drags other woman with golf cart, throwing in assorted curses during the attack. We're going to have to deduct a stroke for that. [WFTV.com]...