hockey Page 137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fortunately, Drowning Is Only A Double Minor
Remember, Zamboni is a brand name for one specific ice resurfacing machine maker. For example, this one changes solid surfaces into liquid but it could've been manufactured by several different companies that will no longer honor the warranty. [DenverPost]...
Amber Alert In Canada After Hockey Trading Cards Vanish
If an insured shipment of hockey trading cards is shipped from Newfoundland, when will it arrive in Ontario? Trick question; the post office will steal lose it. If you have any information, you know what to do. [UPI]...
And With That, Olympic Hockey Is Officially A Memory
Via "Wyshmaster" Wyshynski, excellent video of Sean Avery doing what Sean Avery does. Goading Max Talbot into a fight, then taunting him for his limp-wristed girly man slaps....
Heroic Patriot Defends America's Honor Through Property Damage
A Minnesota man was arrested for throwing a bench through a restaurant window after the gold medal game on Sunday. There's not a jury in the country that would convict him....
Canada <em>Still</em> Hung Up On That Hockey Game, Apparently
A video package of Canadian Olympic highlights, culminating in Sidney Crosby's goal, played during the Star-Spangled Banner at last night's Sens-Rangers game. Ottawa says it was a malfunction and apologized, but we've gone to war over less. [NY Post]...
Canada Wins, But So Do You
Well, shit. How are you feeling? Gut punched? Broken? Just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up? Embrace it. It's a wonderful thing....
Your USA-Canada Open Thread
To be clear: this would be no miracle. But let's not forget the NHL booked the American players' flights back to their teams for this morning, because they weren't supposed to be here. Discuss North American supremacy in the comments....
Your USA-Finland Open Thread
The only thing that stands between us and a gold medal rematch with the Canadians is Finland, the Canada of Europe. Try out your umlauts and doubled vowels in the comments....
OK, Seriously, Time To Shut The Hell Up About Fighting And Olympic Hockey
The Olympic hockey games have been uniformly thrilling, to purists and casual fans alike. But there are murmurs, surely music to Gary Bettman's ears, that the lack of fighting is what's making the games so great....
Alexander Ovechkin Loves, Shoves All His Fans
Hell hath no fury like a Russian hockey star who just got his butt handed to him by a group of feisty Canadians. Point a camera in his face and he'll have no trouble shoving you to the ground....
Everyone Will See Live Hockey On Friday, NBC Says
From a memo just sent to NBC Uni staff: "The USA semifinal men's hockey game against the winner of the Czech Republic vs. Finland will be broadcast live in all time zones on NBC this Friday at 3 p.m. ET."...
NBC To West Coast Hockey Fans: "Kiss Our Moose!"
Ready for some fresh NBC outrage? Just wait until tomorrow, when Oregon discovers that the broadcast for USA Hockey's quarterfinal doesn't start until three hours after the actual game does. I understand hockey really comes to life on the radio....
Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....
Boorish Americans Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like obnoxious United Statesians who are now free to gloat over their nation's Olympic triumphs as exultant underdogs instead of domineering bullies. Suck it, Earth!...
Circuit Court, Where A Kid Can Be A Kid
A patron is suing Chuck. E. Cheese's for $50,000 for injuries suffered after being hit in the head with an air hockey puck. That thing weighs like 2 ounces; who is the plaintiff, Eric Lindros? [Chicago Bar-Tender]...
Mike Milbury's Anti-Ovechkin Crusade Goes International
The NBC analyst has long been known as the only non-Yinzer in the Crosby-over-Ovechkin camp. Now, he's moved his pulpit to Vancouver. Thank goodness Jeremy Roenick was there to call him out....
US Hockey Team Denied Inspiration From '80s Beer Slogan
Because the Olympics just can't handle the in-your-face raditude of America, fuck yeah, they're forcing Ryan Miller and Jonathan Quick to cover up parts of their masks, before the blow the minds of the staid people of Vancouver....
Globetrotters On Ice!
The Globetrotters will take on the Washington Generals (possibly including Conan O'Brien) on an ice rink next week. If this sounds like an old trick, remember the Nets only look like they're playing on ice. [NY Times]...
High School Rink Pretty Much Cursed
In a game dedicated to a player who broke two vertebrae after going head-first into the glass last weekend...his teammate knocks himself unconscious going head-first into the boards. [Boston Globe]...
Russian 9-Year-Olds Are All Goons
An under-10 game ends in a bench-clearing brawl between the Northern Star and the Penguins (9-year-old Sidney Crosby probably had someone do his fighting for him). Per the YouTube description: "Truly a rare record the NHL not always witness."...