hockey Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hurricanes' Victory Celebration Rules
The Carolina Hurricanes, after a long stretch of irrelevance, appear to finally be going in the right direction. They’re a young team with a lot of talent, and though they’re going to be sloppy at times (and their goaltending remains a mess), they should be a ton of fun to watch....
Artemi Panarin Is A Monster, And A Monster Headache For Columbus
Double-shifting in 3-on-3 overtime is dangerous, when every forward has to backcheck on every counterattack, and a tired skater could easily mean an odd-man rush the other way and sudden death. But that’s exactly what Artemi Panarin did for Columbus, staying on the ice for a line change in overtime ...
Let's All Get Irrationally Hyped For Elias Pettersson And The Canucks
The Canucks roasted the Flames on opening night, scoring the first three goals in a fairly easy 5-2 victory. Neither of these mostly irrelevant Canadian teams—the Canucks in particular, with their startling lack of experienced depth players—should do much to challenge the top squads in the West. But...
We're One Game Into The Season And Brad Marchand Is Already Being A Prick
The defending champion Capitals rained righteous hellfire on the Boston Bruins Wednesday night, crushing them 7-0 in front of a celebratory crowd in their season opener. The Bruins are a bunch of ornery bastards when they’re up 7-0, but when Caps center Lars Eller picked up the last of his team’s go...
Capitals Set New Record In Brutal Season-Opening Thrashing Of Boston
The Capitals wasted absolutely no time in getting their Stanley Cup-defending season off on the right foot following a long and Barry Trotz-less banner-hanging ceremony. Just 24 seconds or so into the game—before NBCSN had even had a chance to put the scoreboard chyron on the screen—TJ Oshie ripped ...
Capitals Erase Barry Trotz From Season-Opening Banner-Hanging Ceremony
The Capitals did their big banner raising ceremony before Wednesday night’s season opener. It was very long! It included both a four-and-a-half minute montage set to Mumford & Sons, and a three-and-a-half minute montage set to Queen, and then an excruciatingly slow two-and-a-half minute raising of t...
Tom Wilson Gets 20(!)-Game Suspension For His Hit On Oskar Sundqvist
The NHL has suspended Washington Capitals goon Tom Wilson 20 games for his hit to the head of Blues forward Oskar Sundqvist in a preseason game on Sunday. The suspension for the hit comes down just hours before the Capitals open up their season against the Bruins....
Canucks Ban Video Games On Road Trips, Because <i>Fortnite</i> Is Well On Its Way To Ruining The NHL
The Vancouver Canucks are a young team, so like seemingly all young men, their players are obsessed with Fortnite. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Flossing and shit when they score goals. (So: rarely.) Locking themselves in their hotel rooms and gaming until the sun comes up, instead of the ti...
Are The NHL's Mini-Dynasties Dead?
Until the Capitals broke through to win their first Cup, the Penguins, Blackhawks, and Kings dominated the NHL as the most effective triumvirate since Roman times. Instead of ending with stabbings and civil war, the modern NHL version collapsed for more mundane reasons involving salary caps and agin...
A 2018–19 NHL Season Preview Of Every Team, From Best To Islanders
Hell yeah, hockey is back! After suffering through three months of sports that do not involve ice, and night after night of 90-degree temperatures with no A/C (though that one might just be me), the most beautiful and fun game in the world has returned to save you from five-hour ALDS games and lopsi...
All You Need Is Spite: A Very Emotional NHL Season Preview
Boys and girls and babes, we all learned so much during the 2017–2018 NHL season. For example, I learned that chaos rules the universe, sports predictions are horoscopes but less accurate, and hockey games are won by pure, defiant, you-said-I-couldn’t-do-it spite and very little else....
Predators' Ryan Johansen Skates Off Ice After Walk-Off Goal
After seven seasons in the NHL, Predators center Ryan Johansen surely knows that the importance of the preseason pales in comparison to that of the regular season. It might be useful for the rookies, and other young guys, to develop their skills and mentally adjust to top-level game speeds, but it w...
Tom Wilson Is Still Doing Tom Wilson Things
The 2018-19 NHL season hasn’t even officially started yet and Tom Wilson is already back on his bullshit. In the second period of the Capitals final preseason game, Wilson absolutely leveled Blues center Oskar Sundqvist and was assessed a major penalty and a game misconduct for it....
Team USA Hockey Captain Marries Canadian Rival, Bringing End To Generations Of War Between Our Great Nations
Retired Canadian forward Gillian Apps, clearly still smarting over Team USA’s historic victory over Canada in the championship game at the 2018 Olympics in Pyeongchang, has figured out a way to get that gold medal back in Canadian hands—by marrying Team USA captain Meghan Duggan. Or maybe it’s just ...
Carolina Hurricanes Continue To Dance On Hartford's Broken Corpse
Hartford, one of America’s shittiest cities, received more bad news today. The logo, music, and iconography of the Hartford Whalers—the scrappy lovable hockey team that Peter Karmanos uprooted in 1997 and moved to Raleigh, N.C.—have been officially appropriated by their successors, the Hurricanes....
Flyers' Jori Lehterä Named As Suspect In Cocaine Ring<em></em>
Flyers center Jori Lehterä was not at practice Wednesday, as news broke that he has been interviewed by police and named as a suspect in a cocaine ring in his native Finland. According to Finnish news service MTV, which first reported the story, Lehterä has denied involvement....
Seattle Somehow Reaches New Arena Deal Without Horribly Screwing Generations Of Taxpayers
The Seattle City Council voted unanimously Monday to approve a plan to let a group of private investors build a new stadium on the site of the current home of the Seattle Storm and the former home of the Seattle Supersonics, as part of a push to land an expansion NHL franchise later this year....
Flyers Unveil Furry Orange Thing Named “Gritty,” And I Love Him
If you want to make sure a mascot unveiling goes well, just make sure a bunch of kids are there....
Max Domi Sucker-Punched Aaron Ekblad
NHL opening night is less than two weeks away, and it’s safe to assume the Canadiens, mired in mediocrity and dysfunction, feel like they have a lot to prove. They’re also not going to be very good at hockey, which is often a recipe for a team eager to scrap. Yes, even in preseason. ...
Alexander Ovechkin Gains Vitality From Booze
The Capitals are mostly pretty chill about the perception that they perhaps partied too hard after winning the Stanley Cup, and the fact that their boozy celebrations inspired new rules about the way champions are allowed to handle the Cup. Anyway, that’s the gist of an ESPN report that depicts the ...