horse Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Greg Norman Shares A Tasteful Video Of His Horses Fucking
Golfer Greg Norman wanted to share the news of his horses trying to breed, so he uploaded this video of his horses actually committing the act for the world to see. The world would have taken The Shark at his word, but the transparency is appreciated....
Which Upper Class Twit Attending This Fancy Horse Race Are You?
The Royal Ascot, the most prestigious meet of Britain’s horse racing season (yes, the one with the hats), begins next week. And if you’re going to attend, the organizers want to make sure that they’ve got your title correct. Wouldn’t do to be rude....
Quit Horsin' Around, Bob
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Always Dreaming Wins Kentucky Derby
There were no surprises in Louisville as one of the morning favorites, Todd Pletcher-trained Always Dreaming, took the 143rd Kentucky Derby with a waterlogged unofficial time of 2:03.59....
Railbirds Of A Feather: John Scheinman Hits The Board With Story Of Horse-Racing Legend Andrew Beyer<em></em>
The Washington Post ran a nice horse racing feature yesterday, which served as a preview for the 2017 Kentucky Derby. For the second year running, that preview wasn’t written by Andrew Beyer....
Patch, The One-Eyed Horse Running The Kentucky Derby, Is Inspiring And Gross
Patch, the one-eyed thoroughbred racing in the the Kentucky Derby tomorrow, is this year’s lovable underdog. He’s also a horrifying, part-Nazgûl-looking beast....
Rougned Odor's New Deal With The Rangers Includes Two Horses
This afternoon, the Rangers announced that second baseman and noted face-puncher Rougned Odor had signed a six-year, $49.5 million deal to stay with the team. According to the Dallas Morning News’ Evan Grant, the Rangers also agreed to give Odor a pair of nice horsies. Odor supposedly rides every da...
Teen Girls Are Now Having Hobbyhorse Competitions And That's Fine
If you’re still coming to terms with the fact that people run around with brooms between their legs and call it quidditch, you might want to sit down for this next bit of news: Teens in Finland are participating in equestrian events on hobbyhorses, and they are taking these events very seriously....
Angry Man Cuts President Trump's Balls Off<em></em>
President Trump was getting hard to manage so his handlers went and lopped off his testicles....
California Chrome Owner Thanks No One In Bizarre Nine-Minute Horse Of The Year Acceptance Speech
California Chrome co-owner Perry Martin began his acceptance speech for Horse of the Year at last night’s Eclipse Awards with a modest declaration: “Everyone told me I did a wonderful job, so I’d just like to say, ditto.” He then rambled on for nine minutes of complaints and odd stories before being...
A Horse Walks Into A Bar
Oh, you put a jersey on your dog to celebrate your sports team winning a game? Real cute. This Burnley fan and his cool horse are very impressed....
Actually, Horse Sports Are Good
The funny thing about bias is that it’s the necessary basis of any opinion. And now that we’ve all had our quadrennial opportunity to reinvest in mildly-biased opinions on oft-ignored athletics, it’s time to talk about horse sports, and opinions about horse sports....
Olympic Athlete Out Of Dressage Competition After Insect Bite Leaves His Body<em></em> "Full Of Toxic Fever"
This is Parzival. He’s a very nice horse. I would give him a carrot. However, if you went to the dressage area at the Rio Olympics this afternoon to give him a carrot, you might not find him there, since he had to leave the dressage competition after a suspected bug bite left him with a “toxic fever...
Dead Letters: The Horse People Are Furious
Last week, I wrote a blog trashing the presence of horse sports at the Olympics. My point was that they should get these goddamn horses out of my face, because the Olympics are for humans. I watched a bunch of horse sports during the first weekend of the Olympics, and they were even more boring than...
The Olympics Are For Humans, Not Horses
What is the purpose of the Olympics? For the few thousand bureaucrats who divvy up the Games, give out contracts, and get kickass bribes, it is to enrich themselves. For everyone outside of the corruption apparatus of the Olympics, they are an exhibit of the best sportspeople, playing their sports. ...
Johnny Cueto Remembers His Dead Horse With Photos Of His Dead Horse
Giants pitcher Johnny Cueto’s horse died, according to his Instagram. For proof, he shared photos of the horse, dead. Two photos, to be exact....
Exaggerator Rules The Slop, Takes Preakness Over Rival Nyquist
Exaggerator this afternoon became the first Kentucky Derby runner-up since 1993 to win the Preakness, angled out wide from the rail on the final turn to chase down Nyquist, the Derby winner and heavy favorite....
The First 4 Races At Pimlico Killed 2 Horses Today
This fine animal, name of Homeboykris, won the first race at Pimlico today, hit the winner’s circle, and then flat-out died on the way back the barn, probably of a heart attack. He was 9 years old, and has won 15 races in his career. Three races later, in the final turn, a 4-year-old named Pramedya ...
A Bunch Of Bros In Pastel Shirts Brawled At The Kentucky Oaks
At this Friday’s Kentucky Oaks, the bros in attendance were feeling feisty. ...