horseracing Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Belmont Stakes Preview
Tomorrow Big Brown takes a run at the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes. A horse hasn't swept the Triple Crown in 30 years, so we're told it's kind of a big deal if it actually happens. We've asked Angelo Grasso of the Gowanus Rotisserie Baseball Gazette to preview it for us....
The Only Way To Protect Your Hooves
You might think that horse racing is all about the crazy hats, but The Fan's Attic informs us that it's now all about the shoes. Hey, who isn't wearing a pair of these right now?...
I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...
Big Brown Wins Preakness, Thinks, "Boy, I Am Hungry"
Look. This is Big Brown. This is a horse. We suppose Big Brown is a good-looking, as far as horses go, though we're not sure, from this angle, if we could possibly tell the difference between Big Brown and any other horse on the planet that wasn't, you know, a zebra....
Prepare Thyself For Impending Debut Of Barbaro's Brother. Oy
Just because you have a famous brother doesn't mean that you will approach the heights of greatness yourself, as anyone who has seen a Daniel Baldwin movie will readily attest. We've previously written about Barbaro's younger brother, of course, but now the horse — named Nicanor — is ready to make ...
Crazy Artist Guy Combines Michael Vick And Another Horse
You might remember last year, when a talented artist combined Michael Vick and Barbaro, causing us to spontaneously combust. Well, that artist is back, this time honoring the "great" Eight Belles....
It's PETA's World, We Just Live In It
When future generations study the first decade of the 21st Century, the debate of course will turn to the Great Racehorse Protests of 2008. In the wake of the Eight Belles tragedy at the Kentucky Derby, PETA is bringing all guns to bear on the remaining Triple Crown events; planning protests at the ...
When The Horses Unite, All Will Fall
No longer will the horses stand idly by while we whip them into submission and destroy their ankles and other important pivots. The rebellion has begun. We attempted to warn you. But you arrogant human beings did not listen....
Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...
It's Getting Crowded In Horse Valhalla
Eight Belles is probably in Heaven by now, galloping in fields of clover on four sturdy legs and eating tasty apples. No, I'm not sure which friends she's romping about with up there (a safe bet; one of them is not Christopher Reeve). Down here on earth, though, things are quite unsettled. Who is to...
War Emblem Isn't Interested In Breeding; Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
You've probably seen this by now, but, alas, it's still great. War Emblem is tired of the dating scene. Take this farm, for instance; everyone here is such a phony. He'd rather stay in his stall and curl up with a nice Dee Mirich poem, if you want to know the truth. The race horse, who won the Kentu...
Your One-Stop Kentucky Derby Guide
The Kentucky Derby is this weekend. That's fun! Horses! We don't know a lick about it, so we asked Angelo Grasso, of The Gowanus Rotisserie Baseball Gazette, to preview the race for us. Maybe you can even make yourself some money....
Steve Spurrier Enjoys Oats, Hay, Mounting Mares
For years, SEC opponents have been referring to South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier as a horse's ass. Now, once and for all, he is a horse. And he might just make the Kentucky Derby....
Let's See Dee Mirich Write A Poem About THIS
I've lived my entire adult life by one simple rule: Never go streaking at the horse races. The comparisons are not flattering, let me tell you....
There's Something About Mirich
I used to think that I knew what Dee Mirich was writing about. I would read her impassioned, fractured poetry on various horse racing message boards, and nod knowingly. "Yes," I would say to myself, "Angels DO prefer hitching their horses to rainbows." But lately, Dee has been listing toward crazy e...
Your Breeders Cup Preview
We only have space in our heart for one horse, so we can't get too much into the Breeder's Cup this weekend....
Our Friend Dona Chepa
The competitors that bring us the truest joy, the ones who remind us that sports are human and frail and painful and therefore beautiful, are the ones who lose. Well, not always human and frail....
Storm Cat Is More Man Than Any Of Us
This stallion right here is Storm Cat. And we mean stallion in every possible way....
Wait! Maybe We Should Hear What He Has To Say ...
I'm skeptical this even is real — seriously, it's that funny — but two women were hospitalized — OK, so that parts not funny — Tuesday night after a horse leapt a dividing wall and climbed into the announcer's booth at a horse show in Lexington, Kentucky....
Grow, Controversy, Grow!
Our favorite headline of the month so far comes from Philadelphia, where jockey Victor Molina has been charged with domestic abuse. The victim? His racehorse, whom he kicked in the stomach following a race at Philadelphia Park. The headline? Jockey Short With Horse, naturally....