horses Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cops Say An Eagles Fan Punched A Police Horse After Being Ejected From The Stadium
A Philadelphia man was arrested on Saturday after police say he punched a police horse after being ejected from the Linc during the Eagles’ 15-10 win over the Falcons....
Roy Moore Doesn't Even Ride A Horse Well
If you’re a reasonable, decent, sentient person paying even half-assed attention to the credible and relentless news cycle regarding Roy Moore’s predilection for preying on underage girls, you will not be voting for him in Alabama’s special election for a senator today. The candidate arrived at the ...
Horse Sues Ray Lewis Over Bourbon Mischief
According to a report from TMZ, Ray Lewis is being sued by a horse....
Jockey Punches His Horse, Gets Two-Week Suspension
An Australian jockey has been suspended for two weeks for jumping off his horse and punching it in the stomach before a race on Wednesday....
Thoroughbred Trainer Suspended 18 Months After Horses Test Positive For Boner Pills
A racehorse trainer in California has been suspended for a year and a half and fined $17,500 after two of his horses, named Iancol and Shakeitupbetty, tested positive for the drug sildenafil (also know as by the brand name Viagra) during the 2016 Del Mar summer meeting, according to the Daily Racing...
This Fucking Heiress Kicked Her Horse!
Jazz Johnson-Merton, a 36-year-old heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, competed in a show jumping event earlier this month. At one point, the dreaded heiress fell off her horse and got so mad that she kicked the poor animal....
Tiny Horse Briefly Becomes Pro Cyclist
Some would say that a horse is not fit for a bike race. Some would note that a horse is too big and has too many hooves for a two-pedal bicycle. However, few have gazed upon this pony when considering their ultimately flawed positions....
The Life And Death Of A Cartel Horseman
From around 2008 to 2012, Miguel Treviño Morales, a leader of the infamous Los Zetas cartel, spent and made millions of dollars buying, breeding, and racing American quarter horses, with help from his law-abiding American brother and a wealthy young Austin rancher. This excerpt from Bones: Brothers,...
Greg Norman Shares A Tasteful Video Of His Horses Fucking
Golfer Greg Norman wanted to share the news of his horses trying to breed, so he uploaded this video of his horses actually committing the act for the world to see. The world would have taken The Shark at his word, but the transparency is appreciated....
Railbirds Of A Feather: John Scheinman Hits The Board With Story Of Horse-Racing Legend Andrew Beyer<em></em>
The Washington Post ran a nice horse racing feature yesterday, which served as a preview for the 2017 Kentucky Derby. For the second year running, that preview wasn’t written by Andrew Beyer....
Patch, The One-Eyed Horse Running The Kentucky Derby, Is Inspiring And Gross
Patch, the one-eyed thoroughbred racing in the the Kentucky Derby tomorrow, is this year’s lovable underdog. He’s also a horrifying, part-Nazgûl-looking beast....
Rougned Odor's New Deal With The Rangers Includes Two Horses
This afternoon, the Rangers announced that second baseman and noted face-puncher Rougned Odor had signed a six-year, $49.5 million deal to stay with the team. According to the Dallas Morning News’ Evan Grant, the Rangers also agreed to give Odor a pair of nice horsies. Odor supposedly rides every da...
Teen Girls Are Now Having Hobbyhorse Competitions And That's Fine
If you’re still coming to terms with the fact that people run around with brooms between their legs and call it quidditch, you might want to sit down for this next bit of news: Teens in Finland are participating in equestrian events on hobbyhorses, and they are taking these events very seriously....
Angry Man Cuts President Trump's Balls Off<em></em>
President Trump was getting hard to manage so his handlers went and lopped off his testicles....
A Horse Walks Into A Bar
Oh, you put a jersey on your dog to celebrate your sports team winning a game? Real cute. This Burnley fan and his cool horse are very impressed....
Actually, Horse Sports Are Good
The funny thing about bias is that it’s the necessary basis of any opinion. And now that we’ve all had our quadrennial opportunity to reinvest in mildly-biased opinions on oft-ignored athletics, it’s time to talk about horse sports, and opinions about horse sports....
Olympic Athlete Out Of Dressage Competition After Insect Bite Leaves His Body<em></em> "Full Of Toxic Fever"
This is Parzival. He’s a very nice horse. I would give him a carrot. However, if you went to the dressage area at the Rio Olympics this afternoon to give him a carrot, you might not find him there, since he had to leave the dressage competition after a suspected bug bite left him with a “toxic fever...
Dead Letters: The Horse People Are Furious
Last week, I wrote a blog trashing the presence of horse sports at the Olympics. My point was that they should get these goddamn horses out of my face, because the Olympics are for humans. I watched a bunch of horse sports during the first weekend of the Olympics, and they were even more boring than...
The Olympics Are For Humans, Not Horses
What is the purpose of the Olympics? For the few thousand bureaucrats who divvy up the Games, give out contracts, and get kickass bribes, it is to enrich themselves. For everyone outside of the corruption apparatus of the Olympics, they are an exhibit of the best sportspeople, playing their sports. ...
Johnny Cueto Remembers His Dead Horse With Photos Of His Dead Horse
Giants pitcher Johnny Cueto’s horse died, according to his Instagram. For proof, he shared photos of the horse, dead. Two photos, to be exact....