houston Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kobe And Dwight Howard Talk Shit To Each Other, Get Double Technicals
Dwight Howard left the Lakers a season ago, but because of Kobe Bryant's achilles injury, the two haven't played against each other since their ill-fated partnership blew up in everybody's face. If you thought things between the two were all good, well, you don't know Kobe Bryant very well....

J.J. Watt Has No Patience For The Foolishness Of Lesser Humans
When it was announced that Titans rookie quarterback Zach Mettenberger would be starting today's game against the Texans, Mettenberger responded by taking a few celebratory selfies. This did not sit well with Texans All-Pro defensive end J.J. Watt, because J.J. Watt is a monster who exists solel...
![Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]
Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston joined Stephen Tulloch on the list of idiots who injured themselves celebrating a sack this season. It's made worse by the fact Chicago is down 25 points to the Patriots, and that Houston's sack came against New England's rookie backup quarterback....

Chandler Parsons Is Probably Thrilled To Be Away From Dwight Howard
First, watch this video of Howard catching up with his old teammate before last night's preseason game....

The Cowboys Will Not Suffer Your Silly Celebrations
Get that shit outta here....

Houston Lost To UCF On A Heartbreaking Play At The Goal Line
There was a crazy amount of sports on TV last night, so nobody should be blamed for missing a college football game between two unranked teams from the American Athletic Conference. But UCF's 17-12 victory over Houston featured one of the more dramatic endings you'll see all year....

Ryan Fitzpatrick Went A Little Nuts During His Pregame Pep Talk
Before beating the Buffalo Bills 23-17 yesterday, Houston Texans quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick gathered his team let them know that he really, really wanted to beat his old squad. Here is a rough transcription of his speech:...

J.J. Watt Returns Interception For An 80-Yard TD
J.J. Watt is a robot posing as a human who sometimes forgets to pretend that he's mortal and does really fantastic things on the football field as a result. This play, where he intercepts E.J. Manuel and rumbles 80 yards to the house without anyone even getting close to him, is one of those things....

Houston DB Trevon Stewart Gets Confused, Does Some Very Bad Defending
Playing defensive back is not an easy thing to do, so we shouldn't judge Houston defensive back Trevon Stewart too harshly for doing whatever the hell it was he was doing during this play against BYU last night....

That's How You Hail Mary
Despite being beat in every way possible in the first half, Houston's pulled within reach at halftime thanks to this Hail Mary at the end of the second quarter—enabled by an especially doofus-y move by BYU, which held the ball itself with only seconds remaining....

Jadeveon Clowney Blames Texans' Crappy Turf For Knee Injury
LB Jadeveon Clowney, the first-overall draft pick, will miss time as he recovers from a torn meniscus in his right knee suffered in the second quarter of yesterday's season opener. He told one teammate how it went down:...

Texans Sign J.J. Watt To Record-Setting Contract
Late last night, the Houston Texans and defensive end J.J. Watt agreed to a massive contract extension that will make Watt the highest-paid defensive player in the game, and it's hard to find anyone arguing he doesn't deserve it. ...

Houston Astros Fire Manager Bo Porter
The reported rift between Astros manager Bo Porter and GM Jeff Luhnow meant one of the two would have to be more flexible or leave. Today, the team fired Porter after less than two seasons....

Report: Patriots Trade Quarterback Ryan Mallett To Texans
The Patriots kept Ryan Mallett along with Tom Brady and second-round pick Jimmy Garoppolo for their final roster cuts, and now it's clear why: They didn't want to release someone that could get a return. New England will reportedly ship Mallett to the Houston Texans....

Reports: Astros' Manager And GM Definitely Not Getting Along
It's rarely a good sign when Ken Rosenthal declares that your club is "dysfunctional on multiple levels."...

Uh, Keep An Eye On The Guy In The Top Left
At least he's honest about it, I guess....

Yet Another Challenger Emerges For Worst First Pitch Ever
So, here's the question: how much worse can these first pitches get? At some point someone is going to do something you never dreamed possible of a ceremonial first pitch, like strike oil, or completely forget to release the ball and fling themselves toward home plate. Either that, or they're just...

Matthew McConaughey Rocks A Fanny Pack At Astros-Red Sox Game
Matthew McConaughey—the lieutenant of L-I-V-I-N, the commander of casual, the bombardier of being real—was at Sunday's Astros-Red Sox game, wearing a fanny pack. He did not care about anyone else's opinion of his fanny pack....

