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![Report: Angry Texans Fans Go To Matt Schaub's House To Harass Him [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/192o0odz450o2jpg.jpg)
Report: Angry Texans Fans Go To Matt Schaub's House To Harass Him [Update]
You're not a nutcase, so I probably don't need to tell you, but: Don't fucking do what these Texans fans reportedly did....

Win Or Lose, Carlos Beltran Is The King
Carlos Beltran hit the 16th postseason home run of his career yesterday, passing Babe Ruth on the career postseason home run list. If you've watched playoff baseball over the last decade you know all about Beltran's surreal ability to come up big in October, but there probably aren't that many casua...

The Texans' Worst Defender Is Matt Schaub
The Houston Texans' defense has been very good this year. The unit ranks tops in the league in passing yards allowed per game, total yards allowed per game, and is ranked as the fifth-best defense in the league by Football Outsiders' DVOA statistic. These marks are made all the more impressive by th...

Matt Schaub Is A Broken, Morose Man: Your 49ers-Texans Roundup
49ers 34, Texans 3: As you can probably tell from the final score, San Francisco controlled this game. Matt Schaub threw a pick-six within the first two minutes of the game, his fourth in four straight games; he was not happy. ...

Texans Fans Support Matt Schaub With All Kinds Of Weird Headwear
This is a three-minute clip that aired during a news broadcast in Houston. Some people in Houston may hate Matt Schaub and may want him traded to Football Purgatory for a wide receiver and third round pick, but these are not those people. ...

Houston Restaurant "Honors" Matt Schaub With The "Pick Six Burger"
First they burned his jersey, and now this? Matt Schaub, you poor bastard....

Texans Fans Engage In Very Sad Matt Schaub Jersey-Burning Ritual
These Texans fans are not too happy with Matt Schaub after he crapped yesterday's game away with a back-breaking pick-six. They are also not very good at being financially responsible or lighting things on fire....

Seahawks-Texans Brought Us The Day's Craziest Ending
The Texans were on their way to a blowout victory, until they weren't. The vaunted Seahawks defense was playing terrible, until it wasn't. Matt Schaub was a surgeon, until he was a goat. That game was weird....

NBC Affiliates File Bankruptcy Petition For CSN Houston; Astros Pissed
The Astros are the largest owners of CSN Houston at a little over 46 percent. The Rockets own 31 percent and the remaining 22-ish percent is probably owned by the Dos Equis guy because he had to foul up at some point belongs to NBC Universal. NBC Universal just filed a petition to begin an involunta...

Astros Outfielder L.J. Hoes Has Feelings, Dammit
One would imagine that L.J. Hoes has heard roughly 10,000 different variations of "Haha, your last name is Hoes!" over the course of his life, and that his patience for people who mock his name is understandably low. But last night on Twitter, Hoes showed us all how to calmly and constructively deal...

The Astros Drew A 0.00 Nielsen Rating
Last week we cringed to the news that the Astros drew an average local viewership of 1,000 people for a game—less than for an out-of-market WNBA game on at the same time. How bad could it get for yesterday's 9-2 loss at Cleveland, which went up against the Texans' game? Pretty damn bad....

Every Glorious Angle Of The Astros' Buttslide
Just as the Buttfumble couldn't have happened to any team other than the Jets, it had to be the Astros to bring you this piece of baseball history. Behold the Buttslide....

Astros Lost In Local TV Ratings To Out-Of-Market WNBA Game
On Saturday, the Astros set an all-time low for viewership in the Houston area, with an average of 915 households tuning in for Houston's loss to the Angels. That's sad, but this is sadder. ...

An Astros Game Had Just 1,000 TV Viewers
Houstonians apparently had better things to do than watch the Astros Saturday night. Like, anything at all. ...

Bizarre Sequence Features Three Iced Kicks Before Actual Attempt
The end of regulation in the Tennessee-Houston game was one of the strangest sequences in football history, including four FG attempts, a successfully iced kick, an iced miss, a nullified block, and a doink off the upright. ...

The Texans Got Old Man Ed Reed A Walker For His Birthday
Ed Reed turned 35 yesterday. His new teammates in Houston recognized the occasion by presenting him with a Hall of Fame jacket cake, but free safety Danieal Manning also gave Reed this platinum walker as a gag. Reed has yet to play this season because of a hip injury. No word on whether the Texans b...


