how-we-live-now - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Man Grilling Guinea Pig In Prospect Park Is A Hero
On Saturday morning, an emergency call about squirrel abuse sent police to Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. When the officers arrived, they found not the brutal torture of a park squirrel, but what you see above: a happy Ecuadorean man, toasting a guinea pig on a wooden pole beneath sun and sky, free and b...

How To Tell If You're Being A Crank On The Internet, And How To Stop
Man, you sure are het up! Agitated. Can you believe these goddamn coddled athletes/P.C. Police/Now Finaglin' Cheatriots/Twitter-celebrated pop stars of possibly dubious talent/people talking about the colors on a dress when we haven't even solved all The Problems yet? I mean, cheese and rice! ...

Hey, Get A Load Of This Evil Doctor
The Washington Post has a profile today of Dr. Jack Wolfson, an Arizona cardiologist and holistic medicine, uh, doer or whatever, who's made something of a name for himself by providing a flimsy, fraudulent rime of expertish cover to the reprehensible, morally criminal anti-vaccination crowd in the ...

How Many Days Are In A Week? Internet Steakheads Go To War
The brain is not a muscle. For proof of that, we turn to the commenting forums of Bodybuilding.com....

Bed-And-Breakfasts Are Stupid
Many people get a certain twinkle in their eyes at the mere mention of bed-and-breakfasts. Ooh, let's take a road trip through New England and stay at bed-and-breakfasts! It'll be so cozy and romantic! This is a baffling and inexplicable notion. Bed-and-breakfasts are miserable and stupid....

Dumb-As-Hell Hip-Hop-Themed Restaurant Menu Wasn't The Hottest Idea
"Thug rice," man. "Thug rice." They literally dyed some rice black and called it "thug rice."...

Bad Man Employs A Damn McChicken Sandwich As A Tool Of Spousal Abuse
A Des Moines man is in jail today, after he assaulted his pregnant wife with a goddamn McChicken sandwich. And not by feeding it to her! By throwing it at her and smashing it into her face. That's way worse!...

This Church Song-And-Dance Is The Most Excruciating Thing I've Ever Seen
Oh God. Ohhhhh God. I hurt all over. I hurt all over and I want to die....

This Dumb Cup Has Room For Chips And Soda, But Not For Dignity
Perhaps you have seen a TV commercial for a product called "Snackeez," a grotesquely large plastic beverage cup with a special dry chamber for storing your favorite garbage snacks. If you have not, here it is:...

Restaurant Removes Bacon Sign, Ignites Culture War
This is it, folks. This just might be it. Your love of bacon will bring you to ruin, our ancestors said, but did we listen? Did we heed? No we did not. And now: Here we are, careening bacon-scented over the precipice of disaster. "My grandfather was alive in 2014," they will say, huddled fu...

The Wisconsin State Fair Has One Food-On-A-Stick Too Many
So here's the full list of truncheon-mounted foodstuffs at the Wisconsin State Fair, currently underway in, uh, well, Wisconsin, of course. Actually, no, here's not the full list, because the full list apparently has more entries on it than there are human beings to consume them. Wisconsonianitia...

This Is The Best Excuse For Failing A Breathalyzer Test
The Daily Mirror's Sophie Gadd called attention to this News of the Weird item, and we here at Deadspin had some thoughts about it. We discussed it in our staff chatroom....