howl Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crowd Howls In Laughter After Humiliated Striker Misses Open Net
Ah, the distinct charm of lower league soccer. One second you’re awed by an inch-perfect, outside-of-the-foot 40-yard through ball sending a teammate clear on goal, the next you’re doubled over in laughter when the striker can’t walk it into the net....
Arsenal Keeper Fucks Everything Up, Scores On His Damn Self
Is this a David Ospina own goal? A Konstantinos Fortounis olímpico? Either way, it’s absolutely a crime against keeping....
Keeper Discovers That Throwing The Ball Right Into An Opponent's Head Is A Bad Idea
Technically this isn’t an own goal, since the last touch came from the striker, but it is still the most embarrassing non-own goal you’re likely to see. The keeper can raise his hand all he likes, but it’s not interference when you literally throw the ball right at the dude’s head. The video:...
Soccer Lady Has Absolutely Zero Aiming Skills, Scores Awful Own Goal
The announcer had the correct reaction to Helén Eke’s foot mysteriously turning into jelly upon contact with the ball: “Nej nej nej!” As did Eke, who attempted to tear off her ponytail, no doubt to disguise her appearance so that she could creep out of the stadium and hide under a rock for the next ...
Keeper Realizes He Doesn't Actually Have Time Freezing Powers, Gives Up Goal
Generally you don’t want to take five minutes before clearing a backpass. Welp, you learn something every day!...
No Hops-Having Keeper Lets Pass Bounce Over His Head For An Own Goal
You had three options here, goalkeeper: 1) run out to the incoming back pass and meet it right after it bounces, 2) step back a few steps and take the ball off your chest after it took that towering though perfectly predictable skip off the turf, 3) loiter around in the box and find yourself standin...
Goalkeeper Just Throws The Ball Into His Own Net
Your first impulse after watching this debacle is probably to cry “Match fixing!” but to paraphrase an old saying, never attribute to corruption that which can be adequately explained by ineptitude. Throw it or hold it, don’t try to do both at once....
A Brief History Of Gonzalo Higuaín Being A Choke Artist
Just when we thought Lionel Messi would finally end Argentina’s trophy drought and in the process get those dumb doubters from his native homeland off his back for good this weekend, Gonzalo Higuaín went ahead and shat the bed. Since we can’t sing the G.O.A.T.’s praises today, let’s at least take so...
Teen Goalkeeper Fails To Play To The Damn Whistle, Blows Penalty Save
Christ, kid. Didn’t they teach you nothin’? You have to keep the ball out of the net, not just stop the penalty taker from kicking it in himself. Who cares if this is a Scottish U-14 match, if you don’t ridicule him for his errors, he’ll never learn....
Evil Troll Spirits Invade Body Of Basel Keeper
Hm. We were giving Basel keeper Tomáš Vaclík the benefit of the doubt earlier, when he was frozen stiff by this nasty free kick, but judging from whatever's going on in that GIF above he might actually not be in control of his own body....
Gonzalo Higuaín Forgets He's Really Good, Bungles Really Easy Goal
In a season where Phillip Hofmann committed this crime against finishing, it would take a special bit of incompetence to snatch away the award of Miss Of The Season. This is not that. It is, however, a really bad effort from a really good player, making it particularly embarrassing in its own righ...
German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal
It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal....
Alleged Striker Fails To Score Easiest Goal Ever
Philipp Hofmann of Kaiserslautern could've done anything else with the ball here and scored. He could've barely tapped it in almost any direction and it would've gone in. He could've tripped over in his wind-up and his face would've bungled it in. His only job was not to do exactly what he did....
What An Enormous Boner
Peruvian side Universidad César Vallejo took a 2-1 lead into the half against Colombian squad Millonarios in Copa Sudamericana action tonight thanks to the enormous boner of Millonarios keeper Luis Enrique Delgado....
The Gamer According To Tom Boswell
"Baseball has a name for the player who, in the eyes of his peers, is well attuned to the demands of his discipline; he is called 'a gamer.' The gamer does not drool, or pant, before the cry of 'Play ball.' Quite the opposite. He is the player, like George Brett or Pete Rose, who is neither too inte...
America's Most Important Soccer Player Conquers The Old World
Originally published in Howler Magazine, whose latest issue is a celebration of U.S. soccer's centennial. Follow the magazine on Twitter, @whatahowler....
UCLA Has Its First New Basketball Coach In 11 Years: The Architect Of New Mexico's Loss To Harvard
Steve Alford, a well-known name in basketball since he was a coach's favorite on the Hoosiers teams of the mid-80s, has signed on to replace Ben Howland at UCLA. As pointed out in Andy Katz's report, Alford's new contract with UCLA means breaking an almost equally new contract with New Mexico, where...
Here's A Photo Of UCLA Head Coach Ben Howland, In A Tracksuit, Playing Beer Pong With Students Last Night
From the game day campout live-blog at the Daily Bruin (and via Twitter), here's a picture of notoriously sorta grumpy UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland, looking extremely relaxed last night in advance of today's game against #11 ranked Arizona at Pauley Pavilion (9 p.m. EST, ESPN)....
Breaking Down <i>SI</i>'s UCLA Exposé To Its Underwhelming Core
George Dohrmann's investigation into the fallow years of Ben Howland's UCLA tenure dropped in Sports Illustrated today, and it desperately wants to be a cautionary tale. It wants you to make the connection—even if it can never quite do so itself—that the undisciplined and troublesome recruiting clas...