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Today's Shocking Miss Of The Day Comes To You All The Way From Lithuania
My Lithuanian is a little rusty, but I assume that the announcer’s “Oi yoi yoi! Oi yoi yoi!” in response to this Kauno Žalgiris striker missing the unmissible—a completely open net with the keeper yards away from goal—translates to something like: “Jesus Christ, did he really just blow that??? Like,...

Edinson Cavani Put Together A Shitty Performance For The Ages This Weekend<em></em>
To a sympathetic soul trying to surmise a specific and, more importantly, potentially reversible cause for Edinson Cavani’s rapid descent from Top Five Pure Striker to Fernando Torres 2.0, the most coherent case would go something like this: upon joining Paris Saint-Germain, poor Cavani was shunted ...

Heh, Look At This Striker Trick The Shit Out Of This Keeper
And the award for “The guy who feels like the biggest dummy in all of the Netherlands right now” goes to Fortuna Sittard’s Leon ter Wielen. No, you don’t get a speech....

Scottish Club's Keeper Swings And Misses, Leading To Really Dumb Own Goal
Here is Aberdeen’s Joe Lewis, re-enacting that embarrassing time in elementary school when the kickball pitcher served you up a duck just waiting to be crushed, but you tried so hard to kill it that you whiffed. Unfortunately for Lewis, he did it in a decisive Europa League qualifying match, meaning...

Women's Youth Soccer Championship Featured Terrible Pitch, Even Worse Miss
Yesterday, France and Spain met in the Women’s U-19 Euro final. Torrential rain before and during the match—and the baffling decision not to cancel play on a count of the pitch being a swamp—meant there was always the threat of something truly zany and/or horrifying happening. That threat was realiz...

Defender Shows Off Technique, Sweet Shooting Stroke With Impressive Own Goal
There’s so much quality in this Žarko Udovičić goal that you really need to watch the full video over and over to truly appreciate it all:...

Chinese Commentator Can't Help But Laugh At This Striker's Horrible Miss
I mean, Mao Biao of Tianjin Teda does basically save his own “shot” (if you can call him falling over himself and onto the ball a “shot”) from crossing the goal line here. Laughter really is about the only sensible response....

Dele Alli's Horrific Miss Breaks Mauricio Pochettino's Brain
In case you’re wondering whether Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino’s reaction here, where you can see him going through two of the Five Stages of Grief in about as many seconds, was justified by the play he had just witnessed, the answer is yeah, pretty much:...

Manchester City Gift-Wrap Game-Tying Goal For PSG
“So far so good for City,” the commentator remarks before the screen cuts to a replay of the goal that put Manchester City 1-0 up on Paris Saint-Germain just minutes earlier. As Kevin De Bruyne’s shot is shown hitting the back of the net again, the Parisian crowd roars. Not because of the replay, bu...

Syria Score An Especially Painful And Embarrassing Own Goal
All own goals are painful for those who score them. This one, though, scored when Syria’s keeper punched a cross straight into teammate Hamdi Al Masri’s face for the ball to ricochet back into their own net, had to hurt even worse than normal, physically as well as psychically:...

3 Soccer Guys Try One-Upping Each Other With Horrible Gaffes; 2nd Guy Wins Easily
When you see why Quilmes’s Daniel Imperiale is all hunched over looking like he’s about to puke from embarrassment, you’ll understand how his display of complete ineptitude overshadowed the two blunders that sandwiched it. Who knew ten seconds was enough for three players in a row to shit themselves...

Here's Borussia Mönchengladbach With A Great Piece Of Own-Goal Incompetence
On one hand, this comically ridiculous own goal does a disservice to the impressive work Schalke’s Leroy Sané put into creating it. On the other, the three deft little flicks Gladbach’s defenders ping back and forth between each other would be impressive—Arsenal-esque, even—if only they weren’t send...

Look At This Goalkeeper Just Punch The Ball Into His Own Net
Málaga goalkeeper Carlos Kameni is usually really good. Yesterday, when trying to deal with a pretty straightforward Valencia cross, he did something really bad:...

Sorry, Edin Džeko, But The Post Can't Explain How You Missed That Wide-Open Net
“Post, baby, how are you gonna do me like that?” Roma’s Edin Džeko appears to whisper to the goal’s woodwork after his horrendous miss. “You know I love you, Edin,” the post probably responded, “but that’s all on you.”...

Keeper Thinks He's Ronaldinho Or Some Shit, Gives Up A Goal While Juggling Ball
Tending goal may be kind of boring compared to the other positions in soccer, but just because you don’t get much time on the ball to show off your tekkers doesn’t mean the answer is to start playing keepy-uppy with a back pass as a man charges you down, as Lincoln City’s Paul Farman learned the har...

Greek Striker Puts In Strong Early Bid For Worst Miss Of The Season
It’s not even a month into the season yet and already Apostolos Vellios has to feel good about his chances of taking home the Anti-Puskás Award with this literally unbelievable miss. For all our sake, I hope nobody tops this....

Strikers Are Not Allowed To Miss Gimmes Like This
Sorry bud, but you have to go home now. Can’t play soccer if you aren’t going to score those....

Gust Of Wind Scores A Crazy Goal From Distance
Wha ... but how ... so the wind just ... huh?...

Crowd Howls In Laughter After Humiliated Striker Misses Open Net
Ah, the distinct charm of lower league soccer. One second you’re awed by an inch-perfect, outside-of-the-foot 40-yard through ball sending a teammate clear on goal, the next you’re doubled over in laughter when the striker can’t walk it into the net....

Arsenal Keeper Fucks Everything Up, Scores On His Damn Self
Is this a David Ospina own goal? A Konstantinos Fortounis olímpico? Either way, it’s absolutely a crime against keeping....