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Better Know An Umpire: Rob Drake
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

“At Least I Am Not Raising A Pussy Rugby Player”: Rec League Softball Coach Taunts Concussed Player
We love us some overwrought rec league emails. Today's comes from a Wednesday night non-competitive softball league in the suburbs of an unnamed American city. One player member informed his teammates last night via email that he won't be able to make tonight's games because of an injury suffered ye...

David Stern Asked Jim Rome "Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife Yet?" As Today's Interview Turned Ugly
The Jim Rome Show turned awkward today as NBA commissioner David Stern lashed out at the show's host for asking whether the league's draft lottery was fixed, asking at one point, "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" ...

Dear ESPN: Your Movie-Tie-In Promos Suck
I was watching the NBA Finals last night. Or, at least, I was attempting to watch them. ESPN was unconcerned with my ability to watch the fucking game and much more interested in running 17 different introductory segments to the game. This is what ESPN always does. They run a dramatic intro to the g...

Incoming Arkansas Freshman Writes "Sonnet" On What It Means To Be A Razorback
Vin Ascolese is a linebacker recruited from North Jersey, the heartland of American poetry. The All-American hasn't played a snap for Arkansas, but he's all about the Arkansas spirit already. Ascolese recently posted a "sonnet" to his Twitter account, and god damn it is inspiring. (It's also not a s...

Goldust Stays In Character At Toys 'R' Us: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by readers' tales of Virgil, wrestling's saddest man, we asked readers for their run-ins with any current or former pro wrestler. You did not disappoint. Here are some of our favorites, nearly all of them WWF stars from the Attitude Era. But don't worry — there's plenty of Virgil too....

Listen To The Mellifluous Sounds Of Adam Carolla Reading From His Memoir, <i>Not Taco Bell Material</i>
Adam Carolla, friend of Deadspin, co-creator of The Man Show, co-host of Loveline, and the host of The Adam Carolla Show podcast, has written his life story. To quote the book jacket, "Not Taco Bell Material is a tale of depressed parents, public nudity, fecal matter, fist fights, Tijuana road trips...

Bryce Harper To Prying Canadian Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Must be tough doing business in the Toronto press corps. The town’s favorite team is toast by February every year. You can do “Where Is Gary Roberts Now?” or “At Home With Nazem Kadri” only so many times. Sometimes you have to write about the Blue Jays and their opponents, and, yes, there are a fe...

Two Croatian Government Workers Are In Trouble For Flashing Everyone At Euro 2012
Croatia took a vital three points from Ireland over the weekend, sending fans into spasms of joy and occasional nudity. Now two women face losing their jobs after photos of them baring their chests at Sunday's match—including one of an Irish fan licking one woman's breasts—have been seen by pretty m...

Would You Like To Buy 162 Chan Ho Park Rookie Cards? Well, Today Is Your Lucky Day
Not too long ago we treated you to a very important update about Chan Ho Park's continuing career as a South Korean baseball player and rapper/insurance pitchman....

The Devils Had A Grand Old Time At The Clubs After Their Game 6 Loss
Here we go again. Time to have that age-old debate over whether it's acceptable for athletes to have fun and go out partying after losing a championship. It seems like we just had this argument four months ago, but the answer remains the same: Yes, it is always acceptable. ...

Twins Fan Catches Foul Ball Without Interrupting Cell Phone Conversation
"Right. Uh huh. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Oh, boy. ... Here it ... I gotta ... Huh. ... OK, right. Oh, I know, totally. [Here you go, hun.] What's that? Oh, nothing. Listen, lemme call you back."...

The Mets Are Milking Johan Santana's No-Hitter For All It's Worth
Not simply content with selling $50 replica game tickets, the Mets are now auctioning off a slew of game-used items from Johan Santana's June 1 no-hitter against the St. Louis Cardinals, with each item signed by Santana himself. Want David Wright's game-worn jersey? That'll run you $1,650. A game-us...

LeBron James Cuddled The Larry O'Brien Trophy Like It Was One Of His Children
I had a conversation about LeBron James with my grandmother at a cousin's wedding in Colorado this weekend. My Баба lives outside of Cleveland, and like all awesome old ladies she has strong opinions about sports. Our discussion turned to basketball and LeBron James's psyche....

Thunder Take Game 1, Send Pat Riley Into His Own Personal Hell
Bless you, Pat Riley. For all your maniacal tendencies and consistently omnipresent persona, you're just willing to put yourself out there in the Chesapeake Energy Arena crowd and subject yourself to a first-hand view of the Thunder's gripping comeback in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Kevin Durant chipp...

For $42 Million, The London Olympics Opening Ceremony Will Resemble The English Countryside
After the spectacle of the opening (and closing) ceremonies in Beijing four years ago, Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle is really feeling the pressure to deliver on something magical and memorable for London. He's only got 44 days to pull it all together, and today we got our first look at what he...

A Dead Milkman Judges This NSFW Bathroom Brawl: "Why Would A Grown Man Have A Mickey Mouse Shower Curtain?"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Oh Shit!!!! Guy gets beat tf up in shower." Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, frontman of The Dead Milkmen, marking the first time a Tuesday Night Fights review...

Your NBA Finals Game One Open Thread
Tonight, we all forget that dumb lockout. Tonight, we all forget whether LeBron James is or isn't a cocksucker. Tonight, from 9 p.m. until the moment ESPN takes us into that too-bright studio with Stu Scott and Jon Barry and Michael Wilbon, we focus only on NBA basketball at its highest level. ...

Olympics Field Guide: Phillips Idowu, The Dennis Rodman Of The Triple Jump
Name: Phillips Idowu...

Deadspin Up All Night: Ball
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Come back for a finals open thread, as well as the usual Tuesday tomfoolery....