i Page 6804 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Does Peyton Manning In A Yankees Jersey Mean He's Thinking About Playing For The Jets?
Or is the fact that he was 5 years old at the time just mean he's ready to conquer kindergarten? Also, Archie's pants....

Hockey Dad Says He Wasn't Being Malicious When He Shined That Laser Pointer In A Little Girl's Eye
Joe Cordes, 42, admitted he shined a laser pointer onto the ice during last week's high school girls hockey game between Winthrop (Mass.) and Medway-Ashland (Mass.). The parents of the freshman goalie for Medway-Ashland had said their daughter complained of headaches afterward. Cordes, whose daughte...

Slam Cover Goes Retro, With Rubio and Love As Marbury And Garnett
Slam's Farmer Jones has a lovely story on what it took for Kevin Love to earn this honor—a year-old promise that if he could average 20 and 15, the cover was his. Love somehow did it, but these days you can't do a T-Wolf without including Ricky Rubio. So the two recreated a famous 1997 cover, featur...

Peyton Manning Should Sign With Every Team In The NFL, According To Internet
On Peyton Manning's first day of free agency, the Internet decided he should play ... everywhere: ...

Lenny Dykstra's Accountant Wanted To Launch A Charlie Sheen Energy Drink
The latest issue of Sports Illustrated has a feature by David Epstein about the human flotsam that is Lenny Dykstra, who was sentenced on Monday to three years in California state prison after pleading no contest to grand theft auto and filing a false financial statement. Epstein spoke with an LAPD ...

Lionel Messi Is The First To Ever Score Five Goals In A Champions League Match
Barcelona made easy work of Leverkusen in the return leg of their UEFA Champions League round of 16 series, winning 7-1 (10-2 aggregate)—but it was another night to celebrate Lionel Messi, who became the first player to ever score five goals in one Champions League match and the 11th in the histo...

PEYTON MANNING IS IN MIAMI BUT ALSO DENVER IS INTERESTED
Holy shit look at this blurry CBS Miami coptercam shot that's totally Peyton Manning who flew directly to South Florida after his Indy press conference and sure he owns a home there but also the Dolphins play there and the Dolphins might sign Peyton Manning but wait what's this Adam Schefter says th...

Excerpts From The Long-Lost Script For <em>Monday Night Football: The Cartoon</em>
So total at the time was Cosell's saturation of culture that Irwin Weiner, an ABC Sports vice president for twenty years, once came up with a concept for a Saturday morning kids' series called "Monday Night Football: The Cartoon", one that would turn Cosell, Gifford and Meredith into animated charac...

New Illinois Football Coach Using Porridge As Punishment
This is how Tim Beckman hopes to rid the Illini program of the taste left by Ron Zook's seven seasons in charge:...

Clint Dempsey Is Officially Too Good For Fulham
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

The U.S. Women's Open Of Bowling Will Be Held Outdoors, In The Least Magical Place On Earth
What you're looking at is an artist's conception of the U.S. Women's Open, which will follow in the footsteps of the NHL's Winter Classic and the NCAA's aircraft carrier game by being held outside, under the desert sun, in downtown Reno, Nevada. I can't think of a better gift for your worst enemy....

Cop Claims His Mississippi State Fan Boss Fired Him Because He Talked About MSU Player's Arrest
This one's kind of involved, so let's follow the bouncing Bulldog:...

Hines Ward Signs With Ravens, Reports Pittsburgh TV Station That Fell For Obvious Parody
It’s not clear how this exclusive BroCouncil “report” could have fooled anyone, let alone that intrepid crew of news readers at WPXI-TV, who lamented Ward’s departure for the Steelers’ biggest rival at the top of their 6 a.m. newscast this morning....

The Guy From The Dropkick Murphys Would Like You To Know He Didn't Really Say Jonathan Papelbon Couldn't Use His Entrance Music
Yesterday, ESPN Music(?!) reported that Ken Casey, vocalist for the Dropkick Murphys, did not want Jonathan Papelbon using his old entrance song. That song, "I'm Shipping Up To Boston," is reserved for the Red Sox closer, Casey supposedly said, and now that Papelbon is in Philadelphia, he's no longe...

They Don't Make Alien-Punching Movies Like They Used To. <em>John Carter</em>, Reviewed.
1. I know that the main reason John Carter exists right now is because the technology is available to produce it, that you can have armies of CGI characters that don't look ridiculous, that you can invent sprawling vistas of Mars desert, that you can have spaceships crash into spaceships crash into ...

Marlins President Calls Miamians Stupid, Jose Reyes Greedy
If you know anything about the sweetheart deal the city gave the Marlins to build a new stadium, you know team president David Samson basically bent Miami over a pinball machine and had his way with it. But he's far from done with the humiliation—with his remarks to a gathering of local business lea...

Dave Duerson Had Less Than $20,000 In Assets When He Committed Suicide
Dave Duerson was a millionaire and a successful CEO after the conclusion of his 11-year NFL career. But when he shot himself in the heart last year, leaving behind a note that asked his family to donate his brain for dementia testing, Duerson was going through bankruptcy proceedings. He owed hundred...

FLOTUS On Board: One Reader's Boldest Experience
Ring the bells—the winner of the "My Boldest Experience" essay contest has been chosen. Behold, a tale of cargo vans and khaki pants by Deadspin reader Cameron B., who is just won a $100 AMEX card. Read and be inspired....

LSU Football Gives Tryout To Homecoming Queen (Who Once Kicked A 90-Yard Goal In A Soccer Game)
Does LSU football have a placekicking problem? It wouldn’t seem so. They’ve got this guy, who sprained his knee last year but doesn’t seem to miss field goals too often. They’ve also got this guy, who competently handles kickoffs. But do they have a female kicker who was the 2011 homecoming queen? T...

Dancing Canucks Kid Is Sexy And He Knows It
Even less concerned with the judgment of strangers? The guy behind him, drinking his Mike's Hard Lemonade. [via Hot Clicks]...