i Page 7705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nightmare Fuel From the NHL Playoffs
Holy sweet fucking God! I'm just going to sit here for a minute while appreciating my non-destroyed testicles. Continue after the jump for last night's scores, because we might as well talk about hockey as long as we're here. Oh, and a big thanks to Enrico at the 700 Level for making this the first...

The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...

About Last Night
What you missed while audibly yelping with glee... • Boxing: Carlos De Leon Jr. > Buddy McGirt Jr. De Leon proved to be the better son of a former champion when he stopped the previously undefeated McGirt in the seventh. • MLB: The Yankees proved their supremacy over the Red Sox with a 4-1 April vic...

The Week We Lost A Steely McBeam
• Congratulations ... sigh ... to Bill Self. • Buckner, Fenway, heartwarming, kind of, not really. • Gen. Petraeus on the Wii. • This is a very specific personalized jersey. • Rick Astley and Shea Stadium. • Roy Williams, and Hooters. • Steely McDrunky. • Pat Summitt is awesome. • All right, everybo...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after cursing the new Yankees Stadium forever ... • Boxing: Super featherweights, Josesito Lopez vs. Edgar Santana; super middleweights, James McGirt Jr. vs. Carlos De Leon Jr., in Miami (11 p.m., same-day tape on West Coast). Lopez-Santana, California vs. New York. Ding! [Showtime] • ...

Steroids Still Working For Shawne Merriman
Tonight, we assume you are being good Americans and going out on the town to spend, therefore fortifying our flagging economy. However, if you are one of those recluses who spend your Friday night at home getting stoned and watching Animal Planet — and by "Animal Planet," we mean "reruns of Mad Mone...

Michigan Students Will Bone You/Be Boned For OSU Tickets
According to a recent "study" conducted by the University of Michigan, there is a small fraction of the student body who will use sex in lieu of currency for various goods and services. According to Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, he's troub...

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.
Here's a pretty amusing video unearthed by the kids at Fan IQ, which features Max Kellerman, ex of just about every sports channel in every capacity, in his pre-WWL days doing his best 3rd Bass impersonation with his late brother Sam. (Sam, sadly, was viciously murdered back in '04. Gorgeous story ...

So, Whatever Happened With That "Blit Meat" Pool?
Some of you have been asking: Whatever happened to "Blit Meat?" For those who don't remember, "Blit Meat" was FoxSports.com columnist Peter Schraeger's tale of an unfortunate office drone who hosted his company's NCAA pool only to learn, alarmed, that the first place team after the Sweet 16 had the ...

Alex Smith Is A Little Looser When South Of The Border
Didn't Alex Smith attend college in Utah, where drunkenly attempting to eat girls' faces is prohibited? (unless they're one of your wives, that is). Hey, who cares! We're in Mexico! Finally, my frequent visits to 49ersnews pay off....

So, How'd OJ Mayo Work Out For You, Coach Floyd?
Surprising no one, OJ Mayo announced yesterday that he's leaving USC to enter the NBA Draft. Hard to blame the guy; most mock drafts have him going in the top five. (Love that video preview for the Mock Draft, ESPN!)...

Now, Sing Along With The Masters
Well, potato chip-inhaling ruminator, there are. And thanks to the crew at The Meaningful Collateral, you can listen to the Masters theme as it was originally intended: with treacly words....

At Least He's Not Out Taking Illegal Drugs Or Making Some Woman Miserable
When we were — what was it — about five or six? - we were sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny. And we - we cut out this Bugs Bunny off the cover of a comic book and carried it around with us. Carried it around in our pocket and took it out and looked at it periodically, and — and it got all wrinkled up...

Passing The Torch: Buenos Aires, You're Up
The beleaguered Olympic Torch is in Argentina today, where protesters in Buenos Aires say that they will be out in force, but will not try to snuff out the flame (wink, wink). Of course, crossing the Chinese government is one thing; but when you anger the McDonald's Corporation (pictured right), you...

In Case You Were Wondering Whatever Happened To Mateen Cleaves
• Mateen Cleaves dominates the D-League. [The Angry T] • The world's worst movie golfers. [Reelz Channel] • Providence can't seem to find a coach. [Them's Good Eaton] • More Augusta tradition unlike any other. [The Sports Hernia] • It just got tougher to get autographs at Dodgers Stadium. [Beantown ...

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild
You may remember, from Pat Jordan's already famous story for us about trying to interview Jose Canseco, his lawyer "Rob," a "a Cherokee Indian from North Carolina" who, after four years working for Jose, had yet to be paid. Well, Canseco might have just done Rob — whose real name is Robert Saunooke ...

Media Approval Ratings: Tom Verducci
Even though we can't quite dig up the same outrage he has about steroids, we've always found Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci a must-read during the baseball season....

This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

The Masters Turns ESPN's Volume Down A Few Notches
From what we saw of it, we kind of enjoyed ESPN's Masters coverage yesterday. With all the screaming and beeping and what-not on the network anymore, it was almost pleasant to have the sleepiness inherent in Masters coverage wash over The Leader. A channel in which everyone seems afraid to raise the...