This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him

These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number one draft pick Jake Long.

Now, those rumored sightings of Big Jake shoe shopping with Nathan Lane along Ocean Drive the last couple weeks make perfect sense. The Dolphins will do anything to get the player they covet.