i Page 7765 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
After All That...Jim Zorn?
The Washington Redskins, after a long, dilligent, much publicized, energy wasting search for a head coach, decided the best man for the job was former Seahawks quarterback and their new/former offensive coordinator, Jim Zorn. The search took 32 days — and thousands of miles on Dan Snyder's private p...
About Last Night/Greetings and Such
Greetings. I'm fairly certain most people are still sleeping in, but let's get our day of the Lord started out pleasantly enough. Here's a rundown of all the things you missed last night while a pack of horses ruined your friend's funeral....
...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Mets
Well, it appears everything can't work out this offseason for the Mets. The sign guy died. The Phillies are once again the team to beat in the National League East....
God, I Miss Jack
Depending on how you feel about professional eating, this could be somewhat amusing for those of you who love the sport, but unfortunately have a stomach the size of a fieldmouse. A California-based video gaming company is trying to put together a "virtual" professional eating game and went as far a...
Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...
This Doesn't Happen At Benihana
A major controversy rocked Japan (but not as hard as Loudness!) when police arrested three sumo wrestlers and their stable master for a hazing incident that resulted in the death of a teenage wrestler (Ed. note — oooof.)to death. Sumo apparently puts its prospective wrestlers through a rigorous trai...
This Seems Fitting
The Knicks have lost intern-boinking virus Stephon Marbury for the rest of the season. Marbury, who had hoped to return this year after undergoing ankle surgery to remove bone spurs, will now be relegated to hopping around by himself, most likely in a pair of cheaply made (but very affordable) sneak...
Brown And Out
The Cleveland Browns ain't lookin' so hot. [Hell, Yes Guy]...
Lunch Break With Judas Priest
Clare, get a Flyers chant going on while I'm gone....
Rock Out With Your Shuttlecock Out
Nobody knows what it's like to be Wong Choong Han: The nationally ranked shuttler is feeling a little pressure to succeed in upcoming natoinal play. Wong, in a rare moment of self-reflection, realizes that if he doesn't get his shit together before the German Open, his top-three status in the Badmin...
And The Wind Cried St. Mary's
Take that, teabaggers: St. Mary's proved its Top 25 mettle by jizz-bombing the San Francisco Fightin' Whatevertheyarecalleds, 76-51. Yusef Smith scored 15 points off the bench for St. Mary's. Eddie Sutton apparently had an accident on the sidelines and is still trying to adjust to a more provincial ...
I Puck Like A Beast, Too
No Mighty needed: Ducks over Devils, 2-1. Scott Niedermayer returned to the Jerz and promptly made a mockery of his old team. Devils fans welcomed back one of their own with a chorus of boos. Niedermayer, unfazed: "In some ways you take that as a bit of a compliment.Obviously they didn't want you to...
Fisting Kurtis Blow In The Name Of Science
Leon Powe is there to make big shots: Ray Allen is still pissed about that non-call even though the Celtics scored a last-second victory over the determined Minnesota Timberwolves, 88-86 . The Celtics prevailed and overcame the emotional uplift Kevin Garnett's presence in a suit and tie gave to the ...
Greetings, Redux
So, for those of you who weren't up at 3:15 a.m. this morning and didn't see my initial greeting being posted(timestamp said 9:15 a.m, for fuck's sake), well here we are again. Anyway, wake up sleepy heads. It's a glorious day to sit at home and watch me mess up this place with reckless abandon....
Greetings, Spinheads
It is Saturday. It is February. It is not beach volleyball weather....
And...Let's Just Get This Out Of The Way Early
Two more Chris Berman videos have been unearthed from their dusty graves....
The Night Eli Manning Became A Man
• Hey, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Really. • Poor Kevin Hart. • The last Jambaroo until next season. • How to sneak into the Giants victory parade. • Fire Joe Morgan is one-third Mose Schrute. • Patriots fans try to come to terms. • BOO, Gordon! • Take that, Tiki. • Shaq to the Suns? Amazing. • P...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after doing a little gardening ... • Boxing: Cruiserweights, Darnell "Not A Bad Guy If You Get To Know Him" Wilson vs. B.J. "Honnicut" Flores, at Dover, Del., (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, practice for Budweiser Shootout, at Daytona Beach, Fla., (4 p.m. and 6:...