i Page 7946 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sykora Calls His Shot
The NHL Closer is written by five insomniacs from Melt Your Face Off. We blame overtime hockey and copious amounts of caffeine for our condition. Raskolnikov downed two cases of Mountain Dew to recapitulate last night's epic thriller....

About Last Night
What you missed while selling your camel ... • NHL: Penguin fans rejoice ... triple overtime win sends Stanley Cup Finals to Game 6. • NFL: T.O.'s three-year extension with Cowboys is worth $27 million (Super Bowl ring sold separately). • MLB: Cubs' Zambrano puts on a show, postpones June Swoon at l...

Never Underestimate The Sex Appeal Of A Phillies' Fan Sidewalk-Napping In Her Own Chunk
This brilliantly disturbing photo (no, she's not dead, just sleepy) was captured last week by the ribald red-hatted rebel rousers who call themselves The Fightins.. No, it's not uncommon to find Phillies fans grossly intoxicated and laid out on the ground, but it is a wonder how this poor girl act...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while smoking, um, what is that again? ... • Arena Football: New York at Colorado (10:30 p.m., ET). Did you know that Kurt Warner is on the Dragons' roster? In case it doesn't work out with the Cardinals ... [ESPN2] • College Softball: Women's College World Series, at Oklahoma City, Ch...

May The Force Beat With You
This rugged-looking woman is not your ordinary female MMA warrior fighting at Saturday's "Princesses of Pain" event in New Zealand. No, this woman is Amanda Lucas, daughter of George Lucas, of Star Wars infamy....

MLB.tv Ignores The Existence Of Barry Bonds And Sammy Sosa
Ken Griffey Jr. wasn't able to hit his 600th homer yesterday, depriving the Great American Ballpark fans from the opportunity to see the milestone. (And then see Griffey get traded.) The Reds now take off on an eight-game road trip, and you'd have to think Griffey's gonna hit at least one over those...

University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...

Spend The Hereafter In Style Thanks To The Grand Prairie Airhogs
Being a San Francisco Giants fan, I often think of death; but so far I haven't made any firm arrangements. That could all change tomorrow when I head off to the Grand Prairie Airhogs game, where they are giving away a free funeral to one fortunate fan in their All Hogs Go To Heaven Funeral Giveaway....

Terrell Owens Can't Seem To Avoid Getting Photographed Near Jiggling Buttocks
Last we'd heard from Terrell Owens, he was angrily unleashing his lawyers upon the BangBros. after his photo "accidentally" showed up in the promo for "Spring Break Ass," the story of a spunky college co-ed and her fluffy badonka-donk's Miami misadventures....

Doc Rivers Is Now Living The High Life
Doc Rivers must be on top of the world right now. Not only are his Celtics — perhaps in spite of him — in the NBA Finals, but he's feeling secure enough to start buying property ... in Las Vegas, of all places....

That's One Way To Protest A Call
We don't see how any reasonable person could not see it as obviously intentional, but they've gotta investigate anyway....

The Patriots High School Cheerleader Baffles Those Wanting To Accurately Leer
From the booby-centric miscreants over at Busted Coverage comes another time-wasting exercise that guarantees you will spend an unhealthy amount of time anaylzing teenage girls on the internet. The New England Patriots announced their 2008 cheerleading squad and one of the newest members is curren...

Free Darko On Los Angeles-Boston
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the NBA Finals matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....

Sorry, Big Brown
• Why Triple Crown winners never happen. [Gowanus Baseball] • Goodbye, Travis Henry. [BroncoTalk] • Pat Tillman's mom talks to Dave Zirin. [Mr. Irrevelant] • The saga of Manny's 500th home run ball. [Machochip] • A postgraduate look at MLB parity. [Five Tool Tool] • In praise of Wright Thompson. [Ho...

This Letter To The Editor Comes From The Skull
Selena Roberts might believe that the athletes and reporters have drifted as far away from each other as possible, but they might beg to differ in Cameroon. There, the relationship is a little more strained....

Media Approval Ratings: Stephen A. Smith
Our first field trip ever for this here site was our trip to "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith," back when it was on the air. This ended up causing a tiff in the pages of the Chicago Tribune, of all places....

Your Monday Update On The Player Who Was Traded For Bats
No matter what John Odom does from here on out — make it to the majors; get multiple World Series rings; become Pope — he will always be remembered as the player who was traded for bats. It happened last week, as Odom was sent from the Calgary Vipers of the Golden League to the Laredo Broncos of the...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

WHIP It Good, Folks: Fantasy Baseball Continues Unabated
Good news for everyone who likes the fantasy baseball; the Supreme Court has decided not to hear a case filed by MLB (and the Players Association) that would require independent vendors to pay for the use of their statistics....