i Page 8043 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Great. MORE New York Teams In The Postseason
Congratulations to the New York Mets, who shook off the vexing enigma that is the Pittsburgh Pirates and beat the Florida Marlins 4-0 tonight to clinch the National League East title. They're the first team to punch the proverbial ticket to the playoffs, and now we can all breathe a sigh of relief t...

See, It's Harder Than It Looks
We hope you don't mind that we're ending the day with two videos, but we suspect this is worth it....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch instead of, you know, doing this ... • MNF: Pittsburgh at Jacksonville. Only one NFL game tonight? Ripoff! [ESPN] • Basketball: Women's world championships, second round, USA vs. Czech Republic, at Sao Paolo, Brazil. Women must reclaim the men's honor. (Sigh), as usual. [FSN] • MLBl: A...

David Akers, Kicker Badass
If you needed any more proof that Philadelphia Eagles kicker David Akers is ready to take on all comers, we present David Akers ... kickboxer! We suppose, if you're kicking for a living anyway, you might as well figure out how to kick, you know, humans....

Leftovers: Footie Problems
• There could be some real trouble in UK soccer when a TV program runs tonight. [Soccernet] • What are the Yankees going to do with Gary Sheffield? [Baseball Musings] • The NBA would like to know what's in your heart, literally. [True Hoop] • Hurry up, RajaBell.com! [YAYSports!]...

For Walsh's Opponents, The End Is Near
If Anna Kournikova would like to get back into competitive sports, may we suggest the Association of Volleyball Professionals Tour? That's beach volleyball, in case you didn't know; two-person teams square off on a 15-event circuit with stops from New York to California. But that's not important r...

In Case It Slipped Your Mind, Ohio State Still Hates Michigan
For the record, we're pretty sure that the Pat Forde-recommended Dead Schembechlers hate the University of Michigan more than any punk band ever hated anything, and that's saying something. So if you also hate the Wolverines, you won't want to miss the Hate Michigan Rally on Nov. 17 in Columbus, hea...

ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS BOND OVER THESE CHEESY DOODLES
You might have thought that ESPN's Stephen A. Smith wisdom and expertise were limited to trying to cover his mistakes by lying or the "NBA DRAFT!!!" or even naming Web sites. But no. He is so much more versatile than that: Stephen A. not only understands Allen Iverson, he wants to be like George C...

It's 3 1/2 In The Pokey For Clarett
Word just came in about an hour ago: Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett has pled guilty to two felonies and will spend at least the next 3 1/2 years in prison. Jury selection was about to begin in the case, but lawyers accepted the plea of 7 1/2 years, with the first parole opportunity p...

Blogdome: FOUR! SCORE!
• History's greatest speeches, if spoken by Cal cheerleaders. [Zembla] • Should be kind of a fun game tonight ... [Just Sayin'] • These guys are paying very close attention to "GameDay." [Gunslingers] • Help these guys and John Rocker get Barry Bonds. [Barry Bonds Apocalypse] • Does the USC loss mea...

ESPN Still Wants Your Money, But Now It Wants Interest Too
In yet another reminder of how the shareholders demand RESULTS, dammit, our mailbox — and, we suspect, many of yours — welcomed us back home with an application for the ESPN Credit Card. We eagerly tore open the package, thinking maybe if we spent above a certain level, they'd let us host "Cold Pizz...

Carl Monday Is Being Honored Left And Right, Up And Down, Side To Side
The past two weeks have been plenty good for Carl Monday. Not only was he a charter member of our own Hall of Fame, but he also won ... an Emmy!...

That's Not A Fun Way To Lose
Saturday was an outstanding day for college football — particularly if you went to Syracuse, grumble grumble — but it was not so pleasant for Oklahoma fans, who, as this video rather clearly shows, were screwed out of a big road victory against Oregon. It's funny, because one wouldn't think it would...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Cold Pizza's Skip Bayless: So many questions, so little rotten fruit. • 4 p.m. Fantasy Football Focus: Wasn't your last comment, "Your team sucks and you are doomed," a little harsh? • 4 p.m. Baseball With Gary Gillette: Doesn't...

Louis Gossett Jr. Is Little Help, Frankly
So, remember, back in May, when Siena basketball player Kojo Mensah was so desperate to be allowed to transfer from the school that he called on Louis Gossett Jr. for help? Gossett memorably said he could be of assistance because he "can call directly to Bryant Gumbel, Bob Costas and Ahmad Rashad."...

A Day At Paul Brown Stadium
So, we are sad to report that we did not make it to Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's dramatic interpretation of the chicken dance at Cincinnati's Oktoberfest on Saturday afternoon; we figured by the time we actually made it downtown, we'd be too far away to see anything but the tip of Johnson's ...

The Closer: And Now, Put Your Hands Together For Brother Sledge
Notes from a day in baseball:...

NFL Roundup: Take Solace In Akers
Observations and tidbits from a day of football ...>...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while cornholing ... • NFL: Eagles roll past Giants as ... wait a minute, hold everything ... Manning's going nuts! • MLB: It's Frank's world, we just live in it ... A's 5, White Sox 4. • Motor Sports: Use the slingshot, Ricky! Harvick wins in New Hampshire to take Nextel points lead...

NFL Week 2: Update #4
Denver 9, Kansas City 6. This wasn't football, this was a crime against football. I shouldn't even mention it here. Three hours of straight boredom. And since I don't want to talk about it, let me just mention this: I have three QBs on my fantasy roster: Chad Pennington, Rex Grossman, and Jake Plumm...