i Page 8052 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wheels Of Justice Grind Slowly For Clarett
The Maurice Clarett story, with its deep debts and Israel mobs and Grey Goose, has almost become too sad for us to take much joy in goofing on it anymore, though we're still always going to be a little tickled by the fact that he had a hatchet....

Mark Cuban Explains It All
Why can't the U.S. basketball team seem to win in international competition anymore? Leave it to Mark Cuban to unravel this mystery. It may shock you to learn that Cuban lays the blame directly on those damn pyramid-shaped lanes. Oh, and the international ball. And the way the referees are dressed. ...

Obviously, The Breasts Are Sold Separately
As has been pointed out by Fark and a few other places, it appears that the famous dress worn by Jose Lima's somewhat heavily busomed wife when he sang the national anthem a few years ago — she was actually cropped out of accompanying photo by MLB.com, but we bring her back because we are all abou...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Who was your toughest opponent, Red Rocker or Blue Bomber? • 3 p.m. FB Injuries with Will Carroll: Who do you think will ... ow! My spine! • 3 p.m. Musician Robert Randolph: What's more prestigous, playin...

At Least He Didn't Biggie Size
So there are some new details about our new favorite assistant coach, the Lions' Joe Cullen, concerning his arrest for driving in the nude....

Do Toilets Burn Darker?
Remember back when we told you about the soccer fans in Brazil who were setting fire to portable toilets? Well, The Offside, the soccer blog who mentioned it initally, thinks it has footage of the burning, though the evidence appears to be "portable toilets probably produce blacker smoke."...

An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while, as you get ready to watch your Illini on Saturday, you try to figure out how to get from the New Brunswick train station to the Rutgers Stadium ... anybody happen to know how? ... • MLB: Mets 7, Dodgers 0 ... the magic number is 7. • "There is something you do not know ... I a...

Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....

It's About Damned Time Charlie Batch Got Some National TV Exposure
You know the NFL season is upon us when Charlie Batch fastens his chinstrap and storms onto the field. It's really what the league's all about, no?...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while celebrating ESPN's birthday. • College football: Oregon State at Boise State. The road trip which features the signage: "Last gas for 677 miles." [ESPN] • MLB: Detroit at Minnesota. Could this be the series that the Tigers relinquish the AL Central? Um, no. [ESPN2] • NFL: Miami a...

NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......

Leftovers: Chad Johnson Gone CRAZY
• Chad Johnson's mohawk is batshit crazy. [Cincinnati Enquirer] • So, seriously, who IS gonna fill that new Kansas City arena? Anyone? [The Pitch] • If you're not excited about the game tonight ... jeez, what's wrong with you? [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • If you haven't seen the clip where the investigat...

NFL Season Preview: Dallas Cowboys
We are officially at the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their faces for thei...

What's With The Olympic Mascots?
This, friends, is Fu Niu Lele, the official mascot of the 2008 Beijing Paralympic Games....

NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....

Stephon Marbury Is Really Hungry For Some Reason
One of our favorite jokes on The Smoking Gun is the big list of backstage demands all the different rock stars have. There's something beautiful about learning that Kansas insists on being provided prune juice....

Party Crash: Our Birthday Bash
As you might have noticed — mainly because we kind of haven't shut up about it, much to our own detriment — our beloved little site turned one year old yesterday. When we personally turned one year old in 1976, we celebrated by drinking in extreme excess, so we thought we'd do the same thing last ni...

A Lesson In Self Preservation On The Mean Streets
Ever wonder what you would do if you had only an umbrella, and was attacked by someone wielding a long pole? What about using your walking stick to defend yourslef against a mob? (Matt Millen please take note). Thank God we've stumbled on the answer before you've gotten yourself into real trouble....