i Page 8056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Burritos
We are in a difficult position here, trying to summarize why burritos became such a large part of the Deadspin psyche. You see, we really had absolutely nothing to do with it....

Gentlemen, Start Your Loos
So you've heeded our advice and contacted the folks at Donkey Sports Inc., for some sweet donkey basketball action. Congratulations. But to your horror, you've discovered that they are out of donkeys! What now? Well, we've heard your girlish shrieks, and have come to the rescue. It's time for Plan...

This Book Costs More Than Most People's Yearly Salary
How much do you think you would pay for the greatest book in the world? We're talking about the definitive book on the planet, one that would somehow combine what every other book you've ever read has done for you, change your life, maybe even take out the trash from time to time. How much would y...

Stableford: Long Night In Flushing
Dylan Stableford is the editor of media blog FishbowlNY and will write occasionally on the U.S. Open....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Good Morning, SportsNation: What the ... what's this? Is Joan Lunden involved? Will there be a cooking segment? • Noon: NASCAR driver Carl Edwards: Had enough Talledega Nights quotes to last you eight lifetimes yet? • 3 p.m. FF...

The Closer: OK, For One Night, We Don't Despise You
Notes from a day in baseball:...

If We Know Anything, It's That You Can't Beat The Greeks At Basketball
Looks like The Mighty MJD won his bet. We glumly welcome you this morning with the news that Team USA lost to Greece 101-95 in the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching the movie "Snakes on a DVD Three Months Earlier Than Planned" ... • Tennis: Take that, Cyprus! Agassi takes marathon win over eighth-seeded Marcos Baghdatis, 6-4, 6-4, 3-6, 5-7, 7-5, at U.S. Open. • College Football: Spurrier gets 150th win the old-fashioned way ... wi...

We Saw Chris Simms Make A Spinach Dip In A Loaf Of Sourdough Bread Once
Now. We don't want to cast aspersions. We know how life in an NFL locker room goes. You're with each other for half the year, sweating, bleeding, killing yourself out there for the sake of a common goal. You develop a kinship that cannot be quantified by any conventional standards....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a grassroots effort begins to bring new support to the lagging Barbaro HOF campaign ... • College football: South Carolina at Mississippi State. Remember Bulldogs fans, Dean Wormer says there will be no fun of any kind! [ESPN] • MLB: San Francisco at Atlanta. Our homer friends in th...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephen A. Smith
It's fascinating to us, the long and strangely intricate association we've had with "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith." It seems unusual mostly because just about every Web site we read has more viewers than the program....

Leftovers: Final Fulmer Cup Standings
• In addition to all the other amazing things they're doing today, Every Day Should Be Saturday crowns Marshall University with the coveted Fulmer Cup. [Every Day Should Be Saturday] • Maybe we're crazy, but this seems like an odd person to sing a song about football, no? [Los Angeles Times] • OK, e...

NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

You Know This Took About Eight Days To Film, And He Kept Pinching PA's Asses
We'd like to thank The Basketball Jones for this arcane piece of beauty, featuring the Fresh Prince playing an imaginary game against a guy who just know he'll try to sign someday....

Don't Forget That Skip's Leaving Too!
As the Daily Quickie goes to that big Internet scrap heap in the sky, we remind you that a truly joyous occasion is also happening this week: Skip Bayless is leaving Page 2 for good....

Throw It DOWN, Big Man!
So you know how Lakers forward Luke Walton was supposed to make a guest appearance on "The Young & The Restless" earlier this week? Wait: You didn't know that? What's wrong with you?...

Things That PETA Is Better Off Not Knowing About, No. 112
If you're like us, you frequently ask yourselves, "where can I find top, reliable donkeys for my donkey sporting event?" Fortunately we found Donkey Sports, Inc., and our troubles are over. For the finest in Donkey Softball and Donkey Basketball events, we highly recommend this company....

Blogdome: Those Gimpy Sox
• Who's responsible for the sudden near-death experiences of half the Red Sox roster? How about that damned bird from a few weeks back? [Feeding The Monster] • Tigers fans were rather pleased with Craig Monroe yesterday. [Sweaty Men Endeavors] • Reggie Theus, not "Hang Time" anymore. [The Realests] ...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: The Vikings Sex Boat
It's rare that a big sex scandal involving players happens in the middle of the season, but, then again, not everyone can be the Minnesota Vikings. The sex cruise (for rookies!) last season derailed everything then-coach Mike Tice had planned — whatever the hell that was — and supplied countless ane...

NFL Season Preview: Miami Dolphins
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...