i Page 8064 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you once again blow off your trip to the Museum of Laziness ... • College basketball: Duke at Temple (7 p.m., ET). Won't be the same without Dickie V's barbed-wire irritating tones [ESPN]; Pittsburgh at South Florida (7:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • NBA: Detroit at Dallas (9 p.m., ET). ...

What Happens In SportRobe, Stays in SportRobe
Attention bloggers: There's now no reason to ever again wear pants. The SportRobe is here! (No truth to the rumors that the Orioles are using these as their actual home uniforms). Several models available; and we suppose that Marbury is wearing his pretty much constantly. And Seaver, of course, rout...

The San Diego Chicken Still Rules The, Uh, Roost
All you other mascots, you better step off. Your newfangled antics are just hatin'. You will never touch the San Diego Chicken....

Who's Now? Is Never Going Away
The sad, terrifying truth about this summer's "Who's Now?" segment on ESPN is that it was a huge success. It ended up being one of the most searched terms on ESPN.com. Seriously. We suppose we shouldn't find this too surprising; it seems like exactly the type of thing teenagers search for, and those...

The End Of The Bowl Season, At Last
Well, the bowls are finally over, and we thank The Wizard Of Odds for this compendium of amusing screenshots from each bowl. Ah, the bowls: They were over before we even noticed we were supposed to notice....

One More NFL Prop Bet, This Time With Jessica Simpson
No matter how excited you might be for Sunday's Cowboys-Giants game, we assure you, your 16-year-old mistress niece is more so. Because she wants to see if Jessica Simpson is going to be there. (We think. Honestly, we don't know any teenagers. Swear.)...

We Are Now Invading Your Porn
This arrived in our mailbox yesterday. (Via what the kids are calling "snail mail.") We had no idea it was coming. On newsstands now....

Lynching? Come On, You Can Do Better Than That
• Here's what that golf analyst "meant" to say. [Rumors And Rants] • Jack Morris more votes than Tim Raines? Right. [Vegas Watch] • Remembering the old great Reign Man posters. [Legend Of Cecilio Guante] • Look at all those quarterbacks who went crazy this year. [The Angry T] • Know your bowl corpor...

Len Pasquarelli Has Some Words For Anyone Else Who Dares "Report"
Almost anyone who has ever dealt with ESPN's Len Pasquarelli tells us he's kind of a dick. And by "kind of a dick," we mean, "actively chewing the heads off kittens while he's speaking to you." You can add Portfolio magazine's Jeff Bercovici to that list....

The Finnish Love Scottie Pippen
His team is Helsinki ToPo, and with Pippen, the ToPos are 2-0. Pippen is averaging 10.5 pts and 8 boards in 26 minutes. But his game has changed a bit; he chucked up 16 3-pointers in those games, hitting only two. He shoots like MJ's kid now!...

Arkansas Weather Patterns Unhappy With ESPN's NFL Reporting
Some scary news from those storms in Arkansas: It appears everyone's favorite NFL scoopster lost his house....


ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Tiger Victim's NFL Allegiance Revealed
Continuing the long tradition of people who have been laid to rest while wearing the gear of their favorite NFL team, that guy who was killed by the tiger at the San Francisco Zoo was sent to his great reward on Tuesday while wearing a ... you guessed it ... Oakland Raiders jersey. No word on what j...

The 'Fire Isiah' Movement, Now In Rap
Merciless boos in his home arena, eight-foot pink slips calling for his job, sexual harassment claims; Isiah Thomas has heard, seen and squeezed it all. And yet still he stands tall; an unwavering pillar of grinning cocksureness. Until now....

Political Experts Aren't Any Better Than Sports Experts
We stayed up late last night watching the election returns last night with far more vigor and intensity than we watched the BCS Championship Game on Monday night. Sure, we might have had more personally at stake in this one, but that's not the real reason we were so compelled. We were amazed because...


Meet The Puck Bunnies
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....