i Page 8258 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11:15 a.m. Baseball with Joe Morgan: I'm having trouble sleeping; could you explain the strike zone one more time? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with Terry Blount: What would Jesus endorse? • 4 p.m. Pro Football Weekly: Warren Sapp's fat ... where d...
Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...
How Not To Ride In A Golf Cart
It's a beautiful day in New York City today, and though we don't golf, it does seem like a lovely afternoon to be on a golf course. Particularly for a ride in golf cart. Drunk. What could possibly go wrong?...
Wow, We Get Another One Of These Series, Apparently
So here's something no one could have expected: A second-round playoff series between Golden State and Utah that's destined to be thrilling, amazing to watch and go the full seven games. Utah won Game 1, but, as we watched the game early this morning while shaking off our Arcade Fire hangover, we we...
Mariners 3, Yankees 2: Major League Baseball Regrets The Error
Notes on a day in baseball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....
Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Warriors
The second round continues with another new matchup tonight. It's certainly one few would have anticipated....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving away your horse ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 1; Western Conference semifinals, Golden State at Utah, Game 1. Here we go again, Warriors fans. [TNT] • NHL: Western Conference semifinals, Detroit at San Jose, Game 6. Feeding Frenzy in th...
We Wouldn't Believe Him If He Were Bleeding Like Nash
The most common complaint Americans have toward soccer is that the players are always flopping and diving and pretending like they're hurt. (One guy even tried to lamely defend it.) The flipside, and the side in which we can find a modicum of joy, is that the more a player earns a reputation for div...
Those Big-Market Sabres
• Congrats to the Buffalo Sabres, now the best selling merchandise team in the NHL. [Sports Business Journal] • Don't expect to see John Facenda doing many NFL voiceovers any more. [Sports Review Magazine] • Ronnie Brown appears to have put on a little weight. [Lt. Winslow] • Wait ... Oscar de la Ho...
He's Afraid The Defensive Line Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive
A friend who's a big Star Wars dork — you're shocked that we have such friends, we're sure — forwards us this creative concoction put together by an inventive (and, certainly, lonely) Star Wars aficionado and college football watcher....
When Baseball Players Act Like They Want To Fight
In the wake of Roger Clemens' "Look at ME!" announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo "lemme at 'em!" brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actuall...
Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...
Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....
Pet Me, Manny
• Manny Ramirez and Julian Taverez, sittin' in a tree ... [Random Thoughts] • Don't get too excited, Brewers fans. [On The Show] • Ben Broussard ruined some potential fun this weekend. [PopJocks] • So close, Wang, so close. [Slack Lalane] • An indulgent weekend in sports. [Awful Announcing] • So, ho...
Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...
The Sad Tale Of Tracy McGrady
We were pleased to see former Illini Deron Williams and Dee Brown advance to the Western Conference semifinals with the Jazz's win over the Rockets on Saturday night, but it brought us no joy to see the likable and seemingly doomed Tracy McGrady fail once again to push his team out of the first roun...
Dancing On Chelsea's Grave
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. AFL with Rush's Bobby Sippio: Wait; Arena League players have web sites now? • 3 p.m. Fantasy Baseball Focus: No, don't waste a pick on Clemens, you said. Probably won't play this year, you said. Why do I listen to you? • 4 p.m....