ice Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Zack And Shiancoe Make A Porno
You realize of course that this was inevitable: A Canoga Park, Calif., adult studio has made an "exclusive performance offer" to Minnesota Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, and already has a specific film project in mind....

It's Giant Balls Vs. Dwight Schrute For Hearts And Minds On Super Bowl Sunday
In a bold frontal attack that makes Pickett's charge look like a game of Red Rover and the Normandy Invasion seem like a visit from the grandparents, ABC will storm NBC's programming fortress on Super Bowl Sunday with the intent of stealing ever viewer possible. Their weapon? The obstacle course she...

Italian Goal Celebrations Getting More Disturbing By The Minute
Italian Serie B forward Cristiano Lucarelli is no stranger to controversy; he's a fan of Che Guevera, and has been criticized for his frequent two-fisted communist salute goal celebrations. But that's nothing compared to what you'll see in the video below. The only way to describe it, I suppose, is ...

Facebook and Deadspin: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
Have you been trying to leave comments on Deadspin for years only to be stymied at every turn by heartless, humorless combudsmen? You've always known that if you could just get that first comment approved, then everyone would see how funny you really are, right? Well, today's your lucky day, camper,...

LenDale White Wants To Beat Your Team, Take Your Girlfriend
It's been well-established that LenDale White says what he wants, when he wants. Apparently, what he wants now is to humiliate the UCLA Bruins, and one Bruin specifically—Maurice Jones-Drew....

Introducing the Deadspin Customer Service Hotline
2008 has been quite a year of change for Deadspin. Leitch out, Daulerio in. Exit Weintraub, enter Waxing Off. Goodbye Iracane, Hello Gaines. Yes, AJ has graciously asked me to step in and provide Deadspin with the same mediocre level of combudsmanship I've been providing for the past 4 months over ...

ESPN Knows Not Of This 'Hockey' You Speak Of
Look, I'm the first to admit that this here site isn't exactly Puck Daddy. But when we start an NHL feature, we tend to finish it, unlike a certain Worldwide Leader, apparently. I wouldn't even mention this except that ESPN, in abandoning its NHL rankings back on Oct. 23, has generated some quite am...

Brett Myers and The Philadelphia Police Department Welcome you To Watch Monday Night Football With Them
So here's a fun photo taken in the early morning hours after the decisive game 5, when Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was stopped by Philly police officers after he attempted to cross over a blocked off portion of Broad Street. At first Myers was told he couldn't pass, but once several officers recogn...

President Condi Possible This January in San Francisco?
Condoleezza Rice, National Security Adviser to President Bush Secretary of Flippin' State (and we're rather embarrassed about THAT), has been fishing for an NFL job post-Executive Branch for awhile. She's quoted in 2002 trolling for the NFL Commissioner position (only to be beaten out by Guantanamo ...

Sarah Palin Sentences Future Son To Lifetime Of Ass Kickings, Possible Ice Grooming
Sarah Palin recently did an interview for the upcoming issue of People Magazine in which she, among other things, refers to herself as "an intellectual," and lists some of the publications she reads on a regular basis. But later in the article, almost as an aside, she speculates on the name she woul...

You Do Not Want To Be In Jan Huokko's Fave Five
Yesterday we told you about The Night of a Thousand Dildos, in which Swedish hockey fans showered the ice with plastic sex devices at a second-tier, Pro Hockey League match between Leksand and AIK in Stockholm. The fusillade was unleashed in honor of former AIK and current Leksand player Jan Huokko,...

The Fact That Kimbo Slice Lost is Purely Coincidental
Even though Elite XC said that Kimbo Slice's controversial loss to pink-haired Seth Petruzelli wasn't the death knell for its slipshod fight promotions company, it appears that proclamation was 100% false. Today, ProElite Inc., the owners of the EliteXC has officially closed up its sweat shop foreve...

Economic Meltdown Provides Small Silver Lining Seattle Sonics Fans
In these troubled times that we live in, people need to focus on the little things that help get them through their day. The laughter of a child, the good health of loved ones, and the delicious schadenfreude of watching greedy corporate bastards lose a billion dollars or so right after stealing you...

MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...

Farewell, Kimbo Slice
Prior to his shocking knock out by Seth Petruzelli on Saturday night, the worst case scenario for Kimbo Slice was achieving a Mr. T-like career arc by parlaying his reputation as a power-punching street freak into something more cuddly and mainstream. (Sadly we'll probably never see the Kimbo versio...

Kimbo Gets Sliced
Fourteen seconds into last night's heavyweight bout, the referee called the fight handing Kimbo Slice his first loss. It wasn't by Ken Shamrock as planned, but by stand-in Seth Petruzelli. After Shamrock was medically disqualified due to a cut over his eye, Petruzelli bravely stepped in and took car...

Kimbo Clashes With Ken Shamrock, Gina Carano Likely To Stay Clothed
Kimbo Slice is moving on from his tangle with the magical elf and will be entering the ring in a guaranteed bloodbath with Ken Shamrock. This will be the the most experienced opponent so far for Slice and he needs to stay on his feet if he wants to win. Slice is terrible on his back and Shamrock's s...

Lineman Chooses Amputation Over Surgery
When told he would need season ending surgery on his pinkie, Mesa State College offensive lineman Trevor Wikre made the most logical decision. He told them to cut off the finger. ...

Kimbo Slice Lives An American Fantasy And Punches David Blaine In The Stomach
I admit: Like a true backwoods dope, I was initially mystified by David Blaine's early "magic" specials. Especially that time he turned a hobo's coffee into coins or the one where he levitated from the sidewalk. Like Michael Jackson and Fiona Apple, I believed David Blaine's magic was real, man. A f...

Score Along At Home With The 82-0 Women's Hockey Game
So if you needed video evidence to believe that Slovakia beat Bulgaria 82-0 in a women's Winter Olympics qualification tournament recently — and I don't blame you if you do — here it is. Contrary to what you probably thought, the Bulgarians can actually skate. Although figuring out what those sti...