ice Page 167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Good Morning: Do Not Underestimate This Gay Mexican
Mornin', Spinheads, A.J. Daulerio reporting for duty. I'll admit, I'm still a little hobbled from holiday excess: the nog drinking, the oversleeping, the Eagles euphoria, the late nights spent watching Tivo'd episodes of Rob and Big, and especially from the seven fish dinner on Christmas Eve at my A...
Meet The Commenting Intern
After an exhaustive search of a rather ridiculously impressive cast of candidates — almost everyone who applied was way overqualified for the job, and it killed us not to just hire everybody — we are proud to report that we have selected our intern....
Five Little Words That Started It All
As every schoolchild knows by heart, Nov. 19, 2004 was the date of the Malice in the Palace NBA brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. That of course is the fight in which the Pacers' Ron Artest went into the stands to tangle with fans, one of whom he thought had thrown a beverage a...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Wild Night At Rutgers
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Time To Pay Up, Gawker
You might remember, back in those halcyon days of two weeks ago, that we made a wager with Alex Balk, editor of angry sister site Gawker and Tigers fan, that whoever's team lost the World Series would have to take over the other's site for a day. (We know you remember this, because Gawker's commen...
It's 3 1/2 In The Pokey For Clarett
Word just came in about an hour ago: Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett has pled guilty to two felonies and will spend at least the next 3 1/2 years in prison. Jury selection was about to begin in the case, but lawyers accepted the plea of 7 1/2 years, with the first parole opportunity p...
Unfortunately, It Appears Emmitt's Going To Be On This Show For A While
Last night, Emmitt Smith continued his inevitable decline into post-athlete career depression by "shining" on "Dancing With The Stars," impressing the judges with his ... aw, jeez, we can't even type this without feeling bad about ourselves and everything about sports....
Wheels Of Justice Grind Slowly For Clarett
The Maurice Clarett story, with its deep debts and Israel mobs and Grey Goose, has almost become too sad for us to take much joy in goofing on it anymore, though we're still always going to be a little tickled by the fact that he had a hatchet....
The ULTIMATE Electrolyte Power Boost!
It has been a while since we have played any organized competitive athletics, so we're a little behind on all the latest innovations in the world of sports beverages meant to quench thirst and replenish, uh, fluids or something....
Clarett Story Continues To Take Scary Turns
Say what you will about the kids at Bristol, but they continue to move the needle on all matters Maurice Clarett, at least. The network learned yesterday that Clarett, who has had a rough couple of weeks, was in deep to the Israeli mob, and that might have been the reason he was, you know, carrying ...
Somebody Please Stop Jim Terry. Soon.
You might think this (CURRENTLY ON SALE!) T-shirt would be the work of a prankster on CafePress, the type of guy who does stupid knockoff T-shirts any one's whim....
Judge Makes The Bold Move Of Questioning Maurice Clarett's Mental Health
The latest news in the Maurice Clarett situation isn't that he's being required to undergo a mental health evaluation. The news is that he doesn't think he needs one. When the judge ordered the evaluation, Clarett scoffed at him. He was later quoted as saying, "I clearly understand everything, and...
Fictional League Somehow More Fictional Now
Now that the whole Maurice Clarett business has veered into Greek tragedy story with Tom Friend's breathtaking ESPN story, we turn our focus to the part of his story it's easy to make fun of: His "upcoming" stint with the Mahoning Valley Hitmen of the Eastern Indoor Football League, a league that ...
The Last Clarett Update
Probably time for one final update on our man Maurice Clarett, who has gotten himself in so much trouble that we're actually worried about him. And not just because we're afraid he'd shoot us....
This Could End Up Affecting The Eastern Indoor Football League Opener
It's almost no fun to point out Maurice Clarett's foibles anymore. But when cops pull him over with a bunch of loaded guns and a hatchet in the car, it's probably worth mentioning....
Maurice Clarett, Handling Himself Just Fine, Yep
We thought we might check in and see how our old friend Maurice Clarett is doing, now that he has fired his lawyers just two weeks before his trial. Well, he has some new lawyers, and they have exactly a fortnight to, you know, find out what the hell the case is about....
Someone Could Really Use Matlock Around Right Now
We don't mean to imply that matters have gotten as bad as they possibly could get for Maurice Clarett just two weeks before his robbery trial ... but they're as bad as they could possibly get....
Maurice Clarett's Imaginary League
So we've been mulling over this Maurice Clarett playing indoor football story, and we're really kind of amazed. First off, it's important to point out that this is not the Arena Football League; that league has been around for 20 years and even though it just lost its NBC contract, it seems likely...
Brett Myers Punched His Wife In The Face
It is commonplace among Major League Baseball teams to send the starting pitchers for upcoming road series ahead of the team, allowing them to get on a normal travel schedule. That's what the Philadelphia Phillies did with starter Brett Myers, who was scheduled to pitch against Boston tomorrow after...
Maurice Drew Doesn't Hate Your Nerd Ass That Much After All
If case you didn't remember, former UCLA running back (and now Jacksonville Jaguars rookie) Maurice Drew had been implicated in the Los Angeles Denny's incident in which Bears safety Ricky Manning and pals beat up a guy for using a laptop. (We're sure this happens to Cuban all the time.)...