ick Page 389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report: The Olympics Opening Ceremony Features Gisele Bündchen Getting Assaulted<em></em>

That supermodel Gisele would have a role in this week’s Olympics opening ceremony was a given, and previous reports indicated the Brazilian supermodel would have a “sexy starring role.” But reports from witnesses of Sunday’s opening ceremony dress rehearsal explained to Brazil’s UOL that Tom Brady’s...

Draymond Green: Dick Pics "Will Help Propel Me To The Next Level As A Basketball Player"<em></em>

After initially claiming he’d been hacked, Golden State Warriors groin-assaulter Draymond Green today confessed to, and apologized for, having inadvertently sent out a dick pic on Snapchat. ...

NBA Star Draymond Green Sends Out Dick Pic On Snapchat, Apologizes [NSFW]<em></em>

Draymond Green’s long summer of cock and balls-related controversy—he kneed Steven Adams in the dick, swiped at LeBron’s dick, and acted like a dick—continues unabated. Earlier today, amidst pictures of Melo sleeping and general Team USA shenanigans, an artfully crafted dick pic showed up on Green’s...

Australian Olympic Delegation Robbed During Fire At Athletes' Village

Olympic athletes continue to be victimized by crime and poor facilities—simultaneously, it would seem, as the Australian delegation returned to their lodgings after a fire to discover they’d been robbed....

Let Nick Kyrgios Go Pee, Man

Nick Kyrgios’s Rogers Cup doubles match was delayed by rain yesterday, and Kyrgios figured the stoppage was the ideal time for him to take a bathroom break. Seems logical, right?...

Bill Belichick Has No Time For Your Stupid Questions

Vikings Backup QB Out Three Months After Reportedly Trying To Kick His Friend's Locked Door In 

Professional athletes are just like us, in that they occasionally find creative, dumb ways to hurt themselves. They’ve picked up injuries stepping on cacti, celebrating a win, and trying to rescue pizzas. Today, we can add “trying to kick a door down after getting locked out” to this sad list. ...

Dirk Nowitzki Struggles With Soccer

Dirk Nowitzki officially re-signed with the Mavericks this afternoon, but he spent the day playing in a charity soccer game in Mainz and showed why he should stick with basketball....

Ryan Fitzpatrick Signs With Jets, Ending The Offseason's Most Futile Contract Standoff

Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets have finally agreed to a deal, per multiple reports. The disgruntled quarterback will make $12 million on a one-year deal....

The Stone Cold Stunner Is The Most Important Wrestling Move Of All Time

Among the shirt-folding instructions, clips of puppies hugging babies, and trailers for gritty superhero movies that make up most of YouTube, there are certain videos that seem like they were created to dare viewers to watch them all the way through....

Sources: Securities Class-Action Firm Exploring Lawsuit Against ESPN Parent Company

Deadspin has learned that ESPN’s recent loss of three million cable subscribers, which was followed by a significant drop in its parent company’s share price, has attracted the attention of a high-powered law firm that specializes in bringing class-action lawsuits on behalf of defrauded investors. ...

Inch For Inch, Inika McPherson Might Be The Most Talented Jumper On The Planet

The three priestesses of the high jump—the American reps in Rio—are an unconventional and disparate bunch, whose ability to launch themselves over a 6'6" bar is almost less interesting than how they made it to the Olympics in the first place....

Amar'e Stoudemire, Who Was Fun As All Hell, Is Retiring

It’s been quite a while since Amar’e Stoudemire was a great or even good NBA player, and so I was a bit surprised at how genuinely bummed I was to learn that he is retiring today at age 33....

Secret Emails Show Kevin Johnson Spying On, Attempting To Bankrupt Enemies

The city clerk of Sacramento has released a trove of correspondence between Kevin Johnson and his cronies, over which the scandal-magnet lame-duck mayor of the California capital fought a long, dirty campaign in hopes of keeping it from journalists and legal adversaries. This latest document dump ha...

Alex Dickerson Hit This Pitch To Goddamn Jupiter

Get a load of this towering dinger that Alex Dickerson sent to the fifth deck up in Toronto tonight. Dickerson’s historic blast (more on this after the dong) went so high that the Fox Sports cameras lost it in the sky....

Only 12 Of The 31 Olympics Athletes' Village Buildings Have Passed Safety Inspection

Athletes are arriving in Rio de Janeiro for the Olympics, and have been greeted at the Athletes’ Village with gas leaks, power outages, and “a small fire.” The Australian Olympic Committee already declared the Village “uninhabitable”, and according to The Guardian, 19 of the 31 apartment towers (all...

White Sox Scratch Chris Sale After He Reportedly Cuts Up Throwback Jerseys [UPDATES]

Chris Sale was scheduled to start tonight’s game against the Detroit Tigers, but the Chicago White Sox scratched the lefty at the last minute. The team said in a statement that Sale was removed because of an incident in the clubhouse that was “non-physical in nature.”...

Derrick Rose Makes Bold Claim

Point guard Derrick Rose caused some eyebrows to shoot off their foreheads in an interview Wednesday after he claimed that members of the public were calling the New York Knicks a superteam....

Surviving The Magical Hell That Is Disney World 

“I feel bad.” ...

Carmelo Anthony Expresses Solidarity With WNBA Players Protesting Violence<em></em>

A week after members of the Minnesota Lynx wore shirts condemning the killings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling and the shootings that left five Dallas police officers dead, the WNBA decided to fine players from the New York Liberty, Phoenix Mercury, and Indiana Fever who have been wearing bla...