ick Page 433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Moron <i>USA Today</i> Columnist Thinks The Cardinals Poop Vanilla Sprinkles
You know, we usually wait until October here to dump on the Cardinals and have the entire city of St. Louis send us polite death threats. But Bob Nightengale … oh, Bob Nightengale … you forced my hand early, you abominable fucking hack. I guarantee, right now, that there won't be a worse piece of ...
MLS And Players Union Reach Agreement. What Does It Mean, And Who Won?
Twenty-four hours after it looked like a work stoppage was inevitable—and 48 hours before the beginning of the season—Major League Soccer and the Major League Soccer Players Union announced that they had reached a tentative deal on a new collective bargaining agreement. Here are the highlights o...
Whatever Happened To That Dez Bryant Video?
It's impossible to prove a negative, but with each passing day, it seems more and more likely that the Dez Bryant video—the subject, over the last two weeks, of rumors so intense that they were, in themselves, semi-legitimate news—simply doesn't exist. ...
J.J. Watt Is A Goddamn Lying Clownfraud
"It's really minimalistic," he said. "There's no frills ... It's just an empty space and a log cabin and snow." You pictured a hovel on the taiga. A lean-to. Wind whistling between the rough-hewn and bark-clad logs. J.J. Watt waking, abundantly and ruggedly bearded, staggering outside in the pre...
The Vikings Will Try To Woo Back Adrian Peterson Today
A Vikings contingent will fly to Texas today in an attempt to smooth things over with Adrian Peterson, and if all goes well, perhaps to convince the start running back to play for Minnesota this year. It'll be a tough sell....
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
Jason Smith's Dancing Is The Only Redeeming Thing About The Knicks
The Knicks are bullshit and should be ignored at all costs, but we can make an exception for power forward Jason Smith, who in this video busts out a series of dance moves at an energy level of a Pixie Stick-addled kid who just watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective....
Robert Flores To Nick Young: There's A 70% Chance You'll Miss
After Robert Flores ethered his girlfriend Iggy Azalea on SportsCenter, Nick Young should've just logged off. Instead, he went after Flores on Twitter, and even threatened—insofar as a Twitter-delivered threat from an NBA player to an ESPN personality can be considered a threat—to fight Flores....
Ronda Rousey Isn't The Female Anyone; She's The First Ronda Rousey
On Saturday night, undefeated UFC women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey took on Cat Zingano, a strong and undefeated fighter in her own right, and one of maybe two women alive who, on paper at least, possibly had a chance to at least maybe show Rousey something. Then the fight started, and it b...
Nick Young Is Clapping Back At Robert Flores For Ethering Iggy Azalea
As Jigga's Law states, for every "Ether" there is an equal and opposite "Super Ugly" as the offended party seeks to redress their injuries in diss form. And while Iggy Azalea herself has henceforth been quiet about the smackdown ESPN's Robert Flores laid on her today, her boyfriend Nick Young has ...
Anthony Mason Was From The Future
We'll mostly remember Anthony Mason for toughness, the way that we remember the Riley-era Knicks teams on which he made his reputation. Which, fine. He got in fights, on- and off-court; he deployed his elbows and extra-large ass with abandon and occasional malice; he glowered and wheedled and pro...
Syracuse Lacrosse Executed The Perfect Hidden-Ball Trick
Keep your eye on the ball, if you can....
Strap In, It's NHL Trade Deadline Day
The NHL trade deadline is at 3 p.m. EST, and if not another deal gets done, it will have already been a satisfyingly busy trade window. But the fact that so many big names have already moved is a great sign for fans of deadline chaos: the buyers remaining are running out of sellers, so prices should...
Blackhawks Deny Rumors Of Locker-Room Strife
It's been a very weird week for the Blackhawks, which kicked off with a broken collarbone for Patrick Kane that will see their leading scorer out through May, closed with a pair of significant "we're going for it" trades, and in between saw some thinly sourced rumors take on a life of their own. It'...
AEG Invokes Terrorism In Bid To Halt Rival Inglewood Stadium Project
Sports conglomerate AEG has pursued the construction of an NFL stadium in Los Angeles for over a decade, and it has become clear that they'll resort to a hilariously deplorable campaign of dirty tricks to ensure that a competitor's stadium doesn't get built. ...
This Is The Worst Shot I've Ever Seen
The above GIF features one of the 400 or so best basketball players in a world earnestly attempting to make a shot—I think—in a real live basketball game that counted in the standings and everything. It went about 20 feet too high, 20 feet too deep, and 20 feet too wide, but at least Alexey Shved is...
How To Make Arrabbiata Sauce, The Angriest, Loveliest Sauce Of All
Picture, in your mind, a mundane interaction between any two regular, essentially happy Italian people. One purchasing a packet of chewing gum from the other, for example. Can you picture it? The screaming, the wild gesticulating, the red faces, the flashing whites of crazed eyes and bared teet...
Happy Borussia Dortmund Celebrate Goal Batman And Robin Style
Borussia Dortmund players are happy again! Today's 3-0 victory over Schalke was their fourth straight in the Bundesliga, dragging themselves from the relegation zone to ninth in the table. Since they're finally confident that they'll actually score some goals, they're planning out elaborate costum...