ick Page 499 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brewers Ticket Plan Gives Fans Better Seats Each Time Milwaukee Wins
The Brewers "won" the Kyle Lohse sweepstakes today, shoring up their rotation. So if Milwaukee fans are feeling optimistic about their team's chances, perhaps they'd like to wager their seats on it. The Brewers have introduced a unique nine-game ticket plan, and each time they win, fans get upgraded...
Mavericks Forward Jae Crowder Is A Shapeshifter
How's your mind? Pretty blown right now, I assume....
The NHL Is NHL 94-izing Highlights
This is Patrick Kane's spin-o-rama from Chicago's 8-1 thumping of the Stars last weekend, given the NHL 94 treatment....
How To Grill Chicken Breasts: A Guide For Heretics
The boneless, skinless chicken breast is the totemic foodstuff of the health-obsessed, because of the nutritional potency of chicken, because of the relatively low fat content of the boneless, skinless breast relative to other nutrient-dense animal proteins, and because in 99 percent of its preparat...
Some Cool Guys Showed Up At A Pick Up Game And Did Impromptu Play-By-Play
It's kind of amazing that we haven't seen something like this before, this being the internet and all. Nick and Scott from Hooplaha.com recently took a trip to a public basketball court, and they came equipped with microphones, hilarious fake names, and a spirit for the game of basketball. ...
Ray Williams, The Ultimate Post-NBA Cautionary Tale, Is Dead At 58
Ray Williams, who went from being a first-round NBA pick and team captain, to bankruptcy, homelessness, and eventually redemption, has passed away in a New York hospital, according to the Knicks....
These Two Seconds Of Hockey Generated 44 Penalty Minutes
Wanna watch something exciting and unusual that happened on the ice during an NHL game? Watch this video! But wanna watch some hockey? Well, then don't watch this video....
Mike Woodson's Shirt Is The Worst Shirt
I mean, damn. I have so many questions....
NFL Player Sues Rolando Blackman For Running An Alleged African Gold Scam
Hey, what's four-time all-star and Mavericks legend Rolando Blackman been up to? Well...it's complicated. Just don't send him any money until this thing gets sorted out....
Picking Your Nose On Television Is Not A Violation Of BYU's Honor Code
Hot on the heels of a fervent nationally-broadcast nosepicker, a BYU fan is running with the nostril-spelunking baton. Last night's NIT bout in Provo between the Cougars and Washington turned out to be a snoozer, but even early on this gentleman was more interested in his own sneezer....
MLB Is Trying To Dick Some Of Its Employees Out Of Their Pensions
Sure, Bud Selig and Major League Baseball may be the plucky underdogs when the league gets into a scheduling dispute with the all-mighty NFL, but that doesn't mean the MLB isn't also a vampiric organization with its own free-market-or-bust tendencies. Case in point: MLB owners are expected to vote ...
Atlanta Cheerleader Carted Off Court After Bizarre Injury
Between the third and fourth quarters of tonight's Hawks-Mavericks game in Atlanta, a Hawks cheerleader slipped and appeared to hit her head on the court....
Suburban Mayor Willing To Give The Chicago Cubs 25 Acres Of Land To Build A New Stadium
Brad Stephens is the mayor of Rosemont, a village less than 20 miles outside Chicago, and he's making a run at the Cubs. While the Cubs continue to fight with the city of Chicago over various restrictions in place, preventing the team from optimizing its cashflow, Mayor Stephens has said the Rickets...
Vince Carter Gets His Ankles Destroyed By Kevin Durant
Hey Vince Carter, you are old! Your ankles would really appreciate it if you would stay away from 6-foot-10 mutants like Kevin Durant from now on. ...
Nick Diaz Doesn't Pay His Taxes, Is A Crazy Person
Nick Diaz was soundly beaten by Georges St-Pierre in UFC-158 Saturday night. When it was over, someone apparently gave him his hat and he just started talking....
Man Shoots Himself In Dick's Sporting Goods After Asking For Shotgun From Store
Last night around 7 p.m., 58-year-old Mark McCarpy walked into Dick's Sporting Goods in Fairless Hills, Pennsylvania, and asked to see a shotgun and ammunition. When the clerk complied, McCarpy pulled out a handgun and demanded the clerk undo the shotgun's gun lock. McCarpy then took the gun and amm...
Justin Durant's Jokey Chick-Fil-A Application Is Actually A Rite Of Passage For America's Child Laborers
This week Detroit Lions linebacker Justin Durant, a free agent, popped by a Chick-fil-A and filled out part of an application. (Middle initial: R.) His explanation was succinct. “Rough outchea bruh,” he tweeted....
Millionaire College Basketball Coach Describes College Basketball's Emphasis On Money As "Hypocrisy"
Our friend Sally Jenkins wrote a column on the death of Big East this Thursday, and quoted University of Cincinnati head coach Mick Cronin, who was very passionate about the conference's widely perceived demise:...