ick Page 519 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Wants To Work For Knicks Owner James Dolan? Anyone, Anyone?
Here is a job listing for "Executive & Personal Assistant to President & CEO" at Cablevision. James Dolan, owner of the Knicks and Rangers, is also the President and CEO of Cablevision. It looks like Jimmy is in the market for a new secretary and wants to bring in some new blood—hiring from outside...
The Red Sox Are Losing Because John Lackey Likes To Double-Fist Beers, Writes Moron
The Red Sox lost a baseball game last night, dropping their record to three games below .500, and you know what that means, don't you? It's time for some dumb columnist to turn into Carrie Nation and throw some shit at the wall. CSN New England's Joe Haggerty did just that when he published this ar...
Grand Quarterback Pronouncements Based On A Few Preseason Drives
There were six less-than-meaningless games across the NFL last night, twelve chances for fans and media to judge and project their quarterbacks over an entire season based solely on a quarter of half-speed action. That's the entire point of preseason football—unrealistic expectations take wing....
Michael Vick Just Did The One Thing You Never, Ever Want To Do In A Preseason Game (UPDATE)
Don't get injured. For any NFL player reasonably assured of a starting job, the last thing anyone ever wants to do in the preseason is get injured. That's why Eagles fans, in lieu of any more reliable information at the moment, are collectively holding their breaths after seeing Michael Vick slam ...
"I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever
Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; but as she was alternately rejected and ignored, she lowered her sights. This past March, she applied for a minimum-wage job selling tic...
Hop On Back Of The Bobby Petrino Apology Tour, Which Begins Today
It's been just under four months since Arkansas fired Bobby Petrino for hiring his young girlfriend to an athletics department position, paying her extra under the table, and lying about it. Four months is barely enough time to break in a new hairstyle, but, naturally, Petrino has found the time to ...
Five-Year-Old Knicks Fan Devastated By Jeremy Lin's Departure Gets To Video-Chat With Jeremy Lin
I'm not going to say there's any one moment of this video that's particularly noteworthy, but catch any clip of this nine-minute segment* and you can't help but wonder why the shitbag Knicks management would let a guy like Lin move to another team under any circumstance. Sure, his time in New York...
The Value Of The San Diego Padres Grew $300 Million In Three Years Because Baseball Owners Are Stupid
Don't think there's a market bubble going on in MLB? Look at this, from the Associated Press:...
MMA Fighter With Full Complement Of Arms Knocked Out By One-Armed Man
Nick Newell (no-relation) is now 8-0 in his MMA career despite only having one arm. He compensates by relying on his knees and legs and, as you can see above, it works out pretty well for him. The best part is the announcer, who sounds like he may be Ray Hudson's less successful brother, referring...
Two Golfers, A Kicker, A Lemonade-Lovin' Linebacker, And One Crazy Goalie: The Few Athletes Who Endorsed Chick-Fil-A
A rule of thumb: if you'd like to learn about the next culture-war shitstorm before it hits, you're best served by visiting sort-of Bruins goalie Tim Thomas's Facebook page. (I say "sort-of" because Thomas has announced he'll take next year off from the NHL.) Thomas weighed in on Obamacare and birth...
Before Steroids And Supplements, Olympics Dopers Used Brandy And Strychnine
These days, Olympians have to pass random drug tests and steer clear of shady supplements to avoid the wrath of the IOC and World Anti-Doping Agency. But back in 1904, during the Summer Olympics in St. Louis, Thomas Hicks of the United States (pictured above, middle) secured gold in the marathon rac...
Would You Like To Donate Money To A $50,000 Sarah Phillips Documentary? If So, You Are Too Late
A few days ago, someone wanted to raise $50,000 for a Sarah Phillips documentary. As we remember, Phillips got into all sorts of trouble while she was a columnist at ESPN and a gambling columnist at Covers.com. But this proposed documentary didn't set out to wrestle broader themes like creepy scams...
When It Comes To Gymnastics, It's Good To Pick A Winner
We always enjoy catching people knuckle-deep, but it's somewhat disturbing in this context. It's probably because of the come-hither look on his face. (It's actually because of his pencil mustache.)...
A.J. Pierzynski Has No Problem Calling Twins Pitcher Nick Blackburn A "Piece Of Shit" To His Face
A.J. Pierzynski is not the most popular ballplayer. This is, after all, the guy whose own manager said "If you play against A.J., you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him a little less." So should anyone really be surprised that upon scoring the tying run tonight against Minnesota, the Whi...
Joakim Noah Tells Everyone To Back Off Of Patrick Kane, Hilariously
Have you ever wondered who Joakim Noah's three favorite Chicago athletes are? Well, thanks to the video above (fast forward to 1:00 in), we now know that his top three shakes out like this:...
![Madison Square Garden May Be On Fire [UPDATE: Everything Is Fine]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ugetvo5tokdjpg.jpg)
Madison Square Garden May Be On Fire [UPDATE: Everything Is Fine]
The first to note it, that we're aware of, was @NYScanner, which an hour ago sent out the message, "Manhattan: Box 0706 at 8 Penn Plaza at Madison Square Garden. FDNY Using all hands for a fire on the 6 floor." @BuffNetwork (a Twitter account that posts pictures of firefighting in the tri-state area...
Our Experts On Fashion And Danny Boyle Are Here To Discuss The Opening Ceremony. Join Us.
Hey! How about that opening ceremony that concluded a few minutes ago? Now we get to watch it! Thanks NBC. ...
Woman Says Youth Coach And USA Swimming Member Sexually Abused Her As A Child, Bought Her Silence
Just in time for the Olympics, USA Swimming has had to schedule an emergency hearing after a 43-year-old woman came forward to accuse a longtime member and youth coach of sexually abusing her nearly 30 years ago....
Bob Kraft's Girlfriend Didn't Get The Part In That Movie, Despite Her Weird Bikini Audition
It's important to remind everyone that Ricki Lander's audition for The Internship did not require a bikini, nor playing off a 71-year-old man, but she thought it would better her chances to include both. All for naught, as the part of Marielena went to someone else, an actual professional actress...
Ricky Williams's Foundation For At-Risk Kids Has Been Taken Over By A Rasputin-Inspired Cult
The Ricky Williams Foundation was started "to be instrumental in the physical, mental, emotional and educational development of at-risk individuals from low social-economic communities." You wouldn't expect anything less from Ricky Williams, by all accounts one of the nicest, most genuine guys in fo...