ick Page 526 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Heat PA Guy Announced Amar'e Stoudemire Fouling Out As "He Has Been Extinguished From The Game"
Ha! Ha! Get it? Because he severely injured his hand punching a fire extinguisher! You're winning friends the right way, Miami Heat. (We isolated the arena audio track so you can hear it more easily.) [TNT]...

For Sale: Bobby Petrino's Wrecked Motorcycle, Needs Some Repair
If you're into making investments you have no chance of recouping, have I got a deal for you. Bobby Petrino's 2007 Harley Davidson, the same one the former Arkansas football coach allegedly crashed while riding with ex-university employee Jessica Dorrell, is up for auction at Copart.com, and while t...

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said "Fire Extinguisher" More Times Than "Kobe Bryant" Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012
The Clippers' Nick Young entered Staples Center last night clad in what appears to be a fortune teller's tablecloth turned into a shirt, except there wasn't enough fabric and they had to patch in some denim....
!["Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lxhqrz8d7vjpng.png)
"Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

Do You Know Any More About Patrick Kane's Drunken Saturday In Wisconsin?
Earlier today, we gleefully shared with you a compendium of photos of a blotto Patrick Kane. He was having good, clean fun at Saturday's Mifflin Street block party in Madison, or so we thought, anyway. We've since heard some things that don't reflect so well on Kaner. If you were at the Kollege Klub...

Today's Blackburn-Wigan Match Was Interrupted By A Chicken
Blackburn Rovers are facing relegation from the Premiership, and need a win against WIgan Athletic today to even have a chance at staying in England's top soccer division. Perhaps as a statement against absentee owners, a chicken bearing the Blackburn flag was unleashed onto the pitch early in to...

Patrick Kane's Offseason Drinking Regimen Is Off To A Great Start
Sometimes it's easy to forget that Blackhawks star Patrick Kane is only 23 years old. Wait, did I say "sometimes... easy to forget?" I meant "always... impossible to forget." Here's Kaner being Kaner, as Kaner does, in Madison, Wis., for Cinco de Mayo on Saturday. Evidently he was more welcome than ...

"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...

Amar'e Stoudemire To Start For Knicks In Game 4 Against Miami Heat
Less than a week after "half his hand was just hanging off" Amar'e will start for the Knicks today in what will most likely be New York's final game of the season....

Clint Dempsey's 50th Premiership Goal Was Fittingly Beautiful
Clint Dempsey's outstanding run of form this season continued this morning as he opened the scoring of today's Fulham-Sunderland match with a fantastic free kick goal, his 50th in the English Premier League....

Amar'e Stoudemire Shows Why You Should Never, Ever Punch A Fire Extinguisher Case
We all knew Amar'e Stoudemire's hand must've been messed up when we saw him walking out of Miami, arm in sling and slated for surgery the next day. Today, he tweeted out some visual evidence of what it looks like one punches a metal fire extinguisher case and the case wins....

Phil Mushnick Wrote Something Racist In The <em>New York Post</em>
Here's OG troll Phil Mushnick in today's New York Post, shaking his cane at the scary negroes:...

<em>The New York Times</em> Asks: Is This When LeBron Finally Beats The Knicks?
I know I've already been beating the drum about this, but honestly, the New York Times sports page is embarrassingly podunk. Here's what the paper had to say about LeBron James and the Miami Heat beating the Knicks last night:...

How The Red Sox Goose The Numbers To Maintain Their Sellout Streak
The Boston Red Sox have Major League Baseball's longest streak of consecutive sold out games, at least according to the Boston Red Sox. The Sox claim their mark stands at 723 games, extending back to May 2003, and the notion of it probably strikes most people as somewhat reasonable: The team has enj...

Rick Carlisle Was In A Very Bad Place Last Night
A blown charging call that resulted in an Oklahoma City bucket sent Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle off the edge yesterday, and understandably so: the Thunder went to 3-0 in the series against Dallas, nearly ensuring we won't have a repeat NBA champion (which, frankly, was not likely to begin with)...

Matt Hendricks's Hit On Ryan McDonagh Was Playoff Hockey At Its Best
We say it all the time: the Stanley Cup Playoffs are the best postseason in sports. Tonight's Capitals-Rangers game is headed to the second overtime, a fitting outcome in this year's OT-happy postseason, but the extended game hasn't dialed down any of the intensity....

Report: Half Of Amar'e Stoudemire's Hand Was Just "Hanging Off"
That's what a source who witnessed the incident told ESPN's Chris Broussard:...

Eric Mangini Still Regrets His Involvement In That Whole Spygate Business, Still Hedges On Whether He Snitched
This morning, Ravens coach John Harbaugh went on a Baltimore radio station to say that the Patriots' championships have "asterisks" and that those titles have been "stained" because of Spygate. It didn't take long for Harbaugh to issue a statement clarifying his remarks to say he was referring to "t...

Look, It's The Worst Sports Card Of All Time!
What the shit is this? How did this end up on our desk? Who would make something like this?...