ick Page 539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On Patrick Kane's Injury
The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts....

Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?
Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery....

ESPN Inexplicably Whitewashes Rick Reilly Column To Remove Rupert Murdoch Reference
In the Reilly column we dissected earlier, there was a throwaway line, a very Rick Reilly sort of pop culture reference....

So Long, Patrick Vieira. You'll Always Be "The Big Sausage" To Arsenal Fans
Patrick Vieira retired yesterday. This is sad. Vieira was one of the best midfielders ever, an end-to-end hard man who won a 1998 World Cup and a 2000 European Championship trophy with France and anchored Arsenal during three Premier League championship campaigns, including the 2003-04 "Invincible" ...

Rick Reilly Goes Union-Busting
Rick Reilly popped another reheated turd out of the microwave. It's a variation on his standard deification of golf as the world's most perfect sport. But here's the twist: this time those blue collar heroes of the links are contrasted with the greedy millionaires of the NBA and NFL....

They're Making A Full-Body Wax Casting Of Bernard Hopkins For Display In An "Odditorium"
Hot off the presses from Bernard Hopkins's press folks and the good people from Ripley's Believe It Or Not is word that the boxer has committed to a two-day appearance in the F/X department at Ripley's world headquarters in Orlando. There, on Monday and Tuesday, he will "begin the tedious task of h...

Mick McCarthy's Secret To Successfully Managing A Soccer Team: Handshakes
Wolverhampton manager Mick McCarthy has finally revealed the secret to his immense success. Every morning, McCarthy greets his players by firmly pressing his palm meat against their palm meat, curling his fingers around their fingers and ecstatically pumping his hand inside theirs. Over and over. Un...

Stare At Colin Cowherd For A While, For A Good Cause
Here is how we know ESPN hates people with cancer: if you want to donate money to The V Foundation, you're forced to hang out with the likes of Colin Cowherd and Mike & Mike....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....

Red Wings Defenseman Mike Commodore Considering Jersey Number 64
Mike Commodore (@commie22 on Twitter) is not a particularly special hockey player. He's a -10 with 104 career points in 454 games, with a Stanley Cup and some great accompanying red beards. He just signed a one-year deal with the Red Wings....

The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something
It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...

Spero Dedes, New Knicks Announcer, Busted For DUI In Hamptons
Not so long ago, Spero Dedes replaced Gus Johnson as the Knicks' radio announcer. Sure, there's no basketball yet, but Dedes already has followed in the law-breaking footsteps of another Knick announcing legend....

Help Awful Announcing Decide Who's Just As Awful As Joe Morgan
Awful Announcing will remove Joe Morgan from the Lincoln spot on its Mt. Rushmore of awful announcers. They'll replace him with the readers' choice in a 32-person summer tournament. Today: Reilly-Harrelson and Paige-Bayless. Go forth exercise your right! [Reilly-Harrelson, Paige-Bayless]...

The Refs Clearly Aren't Watching The Women's World Cup Either
Your morning roundup for July 4, the day we added needed precision to our dog shit inspections....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

Here's A Picture Of The Time Those Purple, Courtside Uggs From Miami Reappeared In All Their Glory
Tipster Josh has a story to share. So, listen up:...

Josh Cribbs Goes To War Against The Tyranny Of Meter Maids
A couple of weeks ago, Browns receiver Josh Cribbs received a ticket for parking his Mercedes at an expired meter in Cleveland Heights. He protested immediately that the meter still had time left, posting a photo of his ticket next to the meter showing 8 minutes remaining. Police say they don't know...

Luke Fickell Didn't Answer Terrelle Pryor's Call Because He Was At A Taylor Swift Concert
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the incoming coach and the outgoing QB, just ships passing in the night....

Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...

Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...