ick Page 552 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Sucker Karate-Kicking Goalkeeper Could Soon Be Charged With Attempted Murder
Remember that whole U-20 soccer tournament brawl in Brazil that came to an abrupt halt when evil Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind? Well, you can likely tack an attempted-murder charge onto the lifetime ban that Gustavo's facin...

Rest In Peace, Guy Who Enthusiastically Sold Peanuts At Mariners Games
Rick Kaminski, a 67-year-old man who provided a memorable part of the baseball experience to crowds at the Kingdome and Safeco Field in Seattle, died of complications from a brain aneurysm yesterday. He was known as "Rick the Peanut Guy," and he'll be missed....

Michael Vick Loses An Endorsement Deal, And Not Because He Killed A Bunch Of Dogs
Just two weeks ago, Vick signed a deal to be the face of EnerJel, a nutritional supplement/energy boost that you can rub into your skin. Because swallowing Gatorade was getting too difficult. But this was a product whose time has come, and Vick was clearly the only man who could bring it to the mass...

A Dejected Tom Ricketts Rides The Train
Sonny in Chicago emailed us today to share an unexpected sighting on his afternoon commute: "I sat on the Metra today, coming back from downtown Chicago to the suburbs, I looked up and what do you know, it's Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts sitting right across from me, on his iPhone with his Cubs ph...

The Sucker Karate Kick Is Much More Evil Than The Sucker Punch
After a third-round game in a U-20 soccer tournament in Minas Gerais, Brasil on Monday, the players brawled. That brawl suddenly ended, however, when Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind and with no warning....

Mike Vick Tweets That He'd Be Honored To Have Favre Back Him Up, Then Tweet Disappears
You'll recall this, Howard Eskin's report that the Eagles might have some interest in bringing the gunslinging kid aboard as a backup in 2011. This scared a lot of us....

Here's A Picture Of A Baseball Commentator Sweating Profusely While Flanked By Ladies In Eighties Gear
Last night was Retro Night at the Phillies/Padres game. This is the type of thing a team does to keep a sell-out streak alive when a) the Padres are in town, b) on a Friday night in summer, c) when the temperature at first pitch is 98 °F....

Circle Me, Innuendo
Your morning roundup for July 20, the day we failed trying to tell Twins play-by-play man Dick Bremer we went to Staples High, too. H/T to Tim for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....

UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...

Breaking: Eddy Curry Still A Fat-Ass
"Curry, 28, reportedly topped 350 pounds during his late March workout for the Heat. He lost a lot more weight - in excess of 20 pounds - between that point and late June, when he auditioned again for the Heat over several days. But he entered the lockout still at least 40 pounds overweight, accordi...

The NL Central Standings Look Like A Misprint, But Pittsburgh's Really In First
Your morning roundup for July 16, the day we wondered who was giving all thatmoney to Michele Bachmann. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors....

On Patrick Kane's Injury
The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts....

Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?
Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery....

ESPN Inexplicably Whitewashes Rick Reilly Column To Remove Rupert Murdoch Reference
In the Reilly column we dissected earlier, there was a throwaway line, a very Rick Reilly sort of pop culture reference....

So Long, Patrick Vieira. You'll Always Be "The Big Sausage" To Arsenal Fans
Patrick Vieira retired yesterday. This is sad. Vieira was one of the best midfielders ever, an end-to-end hard man who won a 1998 World Cup and a 2000 European Championship trophy with France and anchored Arsenal during three Premier League championship campaigns, including the 2003-04 "Invincible" ...

Rick Reilly Goes Union-Busting
Rick Reilly popped another reheated turd out of the microwave. It's a variation on his standard deification of golf as the world's most perfect sport. But here's the twist: this time those blue collar heroes of the links are contrasted with the greedy millionaires of the NBA and NFL....

They're Making A Full-Body Wax Casting Of Bernard Hopkins For Display In An "Odditorium"
Hot off the presses from Bernard Hopkins's press folks and the good people from Ripley's Believe It Or Not is word that the boxer has committed to a two-day appearance in the F/X department at Ripley's world headquarters in Orlando. There, on Monday and Tuesday, he will "begin the tedious task of h...

Mick McCarthy's Secret To Successfully Managing A Soccer Team: Handshakes
Wolverhampton manager Mick McCarthy has finally revealed the secret to his immense success. Every morning, McCarthy greets his players by firmly pressing his palm meat against their palm meat, curling his fingers around their fingers and ecstatically pumping his hand inside theirs. Over and over. Un...

Stare At Colin Cowherd For A While, For A Good Cause
Here is how we know ESPN hates people with cancer: if you want to donate money to The V Foundation, you're forced to hang out with the likes of Colin Cowherd and Mike & Mike....