ick Page 569 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Happy New Year: There Is An American Ryder Cup Captain's Dick Shot For Sale
Somebody wake Dan Jenkins from his afternoon nap and fetch his slippers because there's a wayward PGA penis on the loose. Proud sportswriters, please test that 2011 resolution to ignore this type of tawdry checkbook journalism....
The Wonderful World Of Twitter Prostitutes, Starring Ronny Turiaf And Ms. Candy Deepthroat (UPDATE)
Twitter has opened up a whole new world where skirt-chasers and jersey-chasers can pursue each other with a minimum of fuss. At least until the girl puts the athlete on blast....
"Cooking With Bill Belichick" Is Delightful
This has been floating around for a while, but it's new to us. It comes from Ohio proto-sports/humor show Sports Mock Live. We wonder if Belichick is in on the joke, because he's the type who's never in on the joke....
Nick Van Exel's Son Is Free On Bail
Two days after being arrested for murder in Dallas, Nickey Maxwell Van Exel is a free man whose lawyer claims murder is a harsh term for "horseplay." Bail was originally $1 million; NMVE only had to post $25,000....
Nick Van Exel's Son Charged With Murder
Dallas police have arrested Nickey Maxwell Van Exel, 20, in the shooting death of Bradley Eyo. [Dallas Observer]...
A Mink Stole Is Full-Length On Nate Robinson
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Rick Reilly Takes It To The Hole
Not even joking: we enjoyed Reilly's work here. Of course, it's not writing, but rather destroying his Pop-A-Shot machine with a thunderous dunk. [ESPN.com, h/t JobuNeedsARefill]...
England Cricketers Celebrate Ashes Victory With A Sprinkler Dance
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Your "Brett Favre Is Inactive Because He's Still Lying Dead On A Frozen Field" TNF Open Thread
Pity the world won't get to see the Dog Killer vs. Dong Slinger battle of repugnance tonight but this is what happens when old men hit their heads....
Last Night's Winner: Ryan Fitzpatrick's Pro Bowl Candidacy
Players votes count for a third of Pro Bowl balloting, and Terrell Suggs's ballot counts for 1/1696th of that. But by voting for Ryan Fitzpatrick (and more relevant, leaving off Tom Brady), he's making a statement....
10 Extremely Biblical-Looking Footballers
Of course, most of the nation will spend the weekend embroiled in sprouts, drinking heavily, and most definitely not sitting down to rewatch Mel Gibson's incredibly inaccurate and rather over-the-top remake of The Life of Brian....
The Aussie Football Players, The Pregnant Schoolgirl, And The Leaked Naked Photos
Australian football is in the middle of a sex scandal that blows away anything we've got. Months after a 17-year-old came forward claiming two footballers slept with her, she released nude photos of players and is threatening to leak tons more....
Trick Play Helps Win Biggest HS Game In The Country
Before 43,000 fans in Arlington, Pearland pulled off this bit of trickeration to win Texas's 5A Championship. It's the natural outcome of a season of not-quite-sporting trick plays. Let's see if Pearland's coach can fake his players' ways into FBS schools....
Weekend Winner: Philly, Now Better Than New York At Everything, Including Dog-Pun Headlines
This is today's New York Post cover. For the sake of comparison, this was the Philly Daily News's cover back in September. Yeah, the Post should've just punted that shit out of bounds....
Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
The NY Jets play Pittsburgh today. Even Franco Harris will be rooting for Rex Ryan after watching the infuriatingly horrendous attempt at humor below, brought to you by the fine people at the Eagle Tribune....
Danny Woodhead Doesn't Know Danny Woodhead Personally But Thinks "He's A Likable Guy"
Setting aside my disdain of corporate gimmicks for a moment — like, say, the sickening PR blood-orgy called "Undercover Boss" — this sporting-goods store/sneaker-company mashup that puts Patriots RB Danny Woodhead to work hawking his jersey is rather-OK fare....
Lenny Dykstra Won't Dispense Stock Tips And Autograph Balls For $35 At A Mall Today After All
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Best (And Only) Futsal Goal You'll See All Week
A ridiculous sport calls for a ridiculous goal. Portuguese indoor soccer player Ricardinho makes with the move I'm sure there's a name for, but I'll just call the reverse floppy dolphin kick....
This Photo Is A Little Less Great
It's got, well, the two O'Neals dressed in business casual and Kevin Garnett grabbing his nuts. [Boston Globe; earlier]...
What Kind Of Dog Will Michael Vick Get?
Yesterday, Vick told an interviewer he'd love to own another dog to help with his rehabilitation. Naturally, Bodog is already taking bets on that dog's breed....