ick Page 570 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

She Also Doesn't Finish On Top, Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink, Say No More
Odd headline from the front page of the Orlando Sentinel sports section: "Danica Patrick won't toot your flute or mess up her lipstick." Very 1950s, in both sexism and euphemism. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Welcome To NY, T-Mac
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Seduced By Ebersol, Produced By Arledge, Fish, Near-Death Psychedelia
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Epic Beard Man Talks About "The Fight", And Many, Many Other Things
Here's an interview with Tom Slick himself, where he provides an expletive-laced background to the infamous bus battle, possibly confesses to numerous felonies, and speaks on several other topics that make you question whether he should be speaking on camera....

Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....

NBC Outrage Update: Dick Ebersol Agrees With You! (Eight Years Ago)
New York Times readers are begging the New York Times to stop posting Olympics results on their front page, because they just want to get news about Pakistan without having their TV evening ruined by sports spoilers. Too bad!...

US Hockey Team Denied Inspiration From '80s Beer Slogan
Because the Olympics just can't handle the in-your-face raditude of America, fuck yeah, they're forcing Ryan Miller and Jonathan Quick to cover up parts of their masks, before the blow the minds of the staid people of Vancouver....

Still Angry About NBC's Olympic Coverage? Send An Email To Dick Ebersol
Here's his email address: [email protected] Hurry! He changes it often. As you were......

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

Rick Reilly® Escalates Personal War With Canada
The Rickster apologies for his lame anti-Canuck jokes by crafting even more lame anti-Canuck jokes and sneaking in a brag about the vindaloo-like qualities of his smoking hot wife. Wait until he hears about the electric Zambonis. [ESPN]...

Oprah Winfrey Mistakes Drew Brees' Birthmark For Lipstick
"Who just kissed you?" she asked. "God," he should have said, before punching her. [Sporting Blog]...

Rick Pitino Dismisses Reports He Will Soon Be Doing His Humping On The Floors Of New Jersey Diners
The New York Daily News reported this morning that the priapic Boy Genius had "intermediaries" contact the Nets to express his interest in the team's coaching job. Pitino managed to deny the story without referencing 9/11 once. Good for him....

Cavaliers' Own Watergate Takes An Illegal Turn
Remember how the Cavs removed the drinking fountains from The Q, ostensibly for "health reasons." Yeah, no. Turns out it's a building code violation. [Plain Dealer]...

Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....

Roddickless: Even <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Prefers Brooklyn Decker To Her Husband
We learned yesterday that Brooklyn Decker, who doesn't play a sport, has now appeared on more Sports Illustrated covers than her husband, Andy Roddick, who occasionally plays a sport very well....

Beer Is The Official Lifegiving Liquid Of Cleveland, And More Stories You Weren't Supposed To See
The Super Bowl is a black hole of news; anything non-football is quickly sucked in, never to escape into the public consciousness. Sometimes that's no accident. Here are three stories that were designed to fly under the radar....

And On Cue, Rick Reilly® Says Something Stupid About New Orleans
ESPN let Reilly talk on the television again, and he spoke grandly of "St. Bernard's [sic] Parish" (over B-roll of the Garden District) and the "bars all over the Latin Quarter," which is in Paris. [ESPN]...

Barry Bonds Keeping In Game Shape With Diet, Contempt For Public
Surprisingly, Dodgers fans were able to get between Bonds and his chicken and waffles, and still escape with their lives. One autograph hound, though, managed to touch a sore spot....

Lady Makes Left Turns, Acquits Self Nicely; Apparently A Huge Step Forward For Entire Gender
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Philadelphia Wing Bowl 18: They Did It All For The Snooki
Brian P. Hickey woke up at 5 a.m. today to go watch the 18th annual Philadelphia azzzhole convention known as the "The Wing Bowl." He filed this report.(See Philly.com's full Wing Bowl Gallery here.)...