ick Page 589 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Amy Mickelson Diagnosed With Cancer
Phil Mickelson has suspended his PGA Tour schedule indefinitely after learning that his wife, Amy, has breast cancer. He has withdrawn from the next two events and she will likely have surgery in the coming days. [Star-Telegram]...

Michael Vick Escapes From Prison!
Convicted dog murderer Michael Vick snuck out of the federal penitentiary in Leavenworth under the cover of darkness this morning, completely undetected by the media. How does he do it?!...

MLB.com Really Can't Figure Out This Whole Death Thing
According to MLB.com, Nick Adenhart is still the 35th best major league prospect. However, right above his profile, there is an editor's note explaining that he died....

Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend Gives Jailhouse Interview
Cristal Taylor has given her first jailhouse interview, stating that yes, she was engaged to Dirk Nowitzki; no, he hasn't called; and you bet your ass, she's pregnant....

Eric Chavez Might Be Done With Baseball Soon
Eric Chavez has been told by his doctors that he has a herniated disk in his back and if he hurts it again, that's it for his career. Man, that's gotta suck....

Avalanche Coach The Next Victim Of A Roy Family Sucker Punch?
Patrick Roy is reportedly "mulling" an offer to be head coach of Colorado, even though current coach Tony Granato has not yet been fired. If that doesn't work, his sons will just rough Granato up in the parking lot. [Denver Post]...

For Once, The San Francisco Giants Do Something Smart With Their Money
The Giants have been tinkering with what the propeller-heads like to call "dynamic pricing" — raising or lowering prices depending on variables like weather or pitching matchups. Where I'm from, we just call this "scalping."...

The Happy Youngster Lurks Among Us...
Or did. Once. When the story was about him. [Deadspin]...

Kenyon Martin and Mark Cuban: Still Bellyaching
Their series is over, but Mark Cuban and Kenyon Martin are still sniping at each other in the press. I think La La should slap them both in the mouth. [Hoops Hype]...

Patrick Ewing Predicts Magic Will Win Game 7
But Doc Rivers knows better: "Oh that's great. We feel great about that. I've been on those Knicks teams where he had some predictions." [Green Street]...

Rick Telander Defends Ryan Theriot Against Rick Telander's Steroid Accusations, All Hell Breaks Loose
Here, courtesy of Rick Telander and his colleagues in the Chicago sports media, is a nice little primer on how to whip up a good old-fashioned hysteria out of nothing whatsoever....

Surprise: Pete Rose Thinks Steroids Are Worse Than Gambling
Because we haven't heard from him in a while, Pete Rose would like to weigh in on baseball's steroid crisis. I'm sure his comments won't at all be self-serving. Let's see.......

George Karl Sides With La La
On Mavs' fan behavior: "There was a racist mentality to it. There was a fighting mentality to it. It was to the point where blows I think could have happened." [DP Radio]...

Well, This Is An Interesting Development (MORE UPDATES)
The KentuckySportsRadio crew found what one of its readers claims to be a photo of protesters outside the federal courthouse where Karen Sypher appeared yesterday. The lad on the right is Sypher's son, Kaleb Wise....

In Case You Needed More Melodrama Added To Tonight's Dallas/Denver Fiasco
It turns out NBA-TV's Melanie Collins (yes, this woman) may have received a little static from her employers. Something of the "Please don't post Facebook pictures of you licking a girl's buttcrack"-variety....

Team Peggy Disputes La La's Chain Of Events
"Sam who was also sitting in that section tells NBCDFW he saw Vasquez flick the drink and that the man sitting with Vasquez turned around and threatened to "fight all you fuckers right now." [NBCDFW]...

White Lady Defends Herself Against La La's Racism Charge
There are two sides to every story and in the interest of fairness (and comedy) we will present as many as we can get our hands on when it comes to the Dallas-Denver spitting contest....

Nuggets Family Members Probably Aren't Accepting That Apology Any Time Soon
Who was that crazy lady who got ejected from the Mavericks/Nuggets game last night? Why, that was just La La Vazquez, Denver Nugget fan and entertainer extraordinaire!...

Mark Cuban Ready To Kiss and Make Up
Dallas managed to not get swept last night, so now every thing is rainbows and sunshine in Maverickville. It's so happy, in fact, that Mark Cuban is even initiating peace negotiations with a known thug....

Sportswriting Declared Dead. Again.
Next month's Texas Monthly has a story about the death of sportswriting. It's official: Writing about the death of sportswriting is finally dead....