ick Page 590 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Starbury And The Knicks, Together In Fail For Eternity
Stephon, true to his word, bought a ticket and sat in the front row at the Knicks game last night. But he was asked to leave, because the ticket he bought wasn't for the front row. Nothing ever changes....

It's #Awesome, #Baby (But Needs More Caps Lock)
Just so you know—Dick Vitale is now on Twitter. Your little "social media" playpen doesn't seem so cool anymore, does it? [Twitter]...

Bodenheimer's "Quit Snitchin'" Memo To ESPN Employees Gets Snitched
As noted yesterday, ESPN President George Bodenheimer took up his quill on Friday and expressed "disgust" at company leaks that enable "destructive" and "unwanted" publicity and that could occasion the leaker's "immediate termination." His memo was then leaked to us....

Brad Childress Is The Ugliest Dame You’ll Ever See
Fucking Brad Childress. Only this prick would decline an offsides penalty on first down to take a seven-yard gain. Or dress like a woman on the flight to Pittsburgh to motivate his team. Wait, what?...

Breaking: Rick Reilly® Makes Another Dental Joke
Reilly®, doing the dumb "Nick Swisher loosens up the Yankees" story that everyone got out of his system in April, notes, "Swisher is a guy who won't stop laughing even when he brushes his teeth." Chew on that. [ESPN]...

George Bodenheimer Requests That ESPN Employees Stop Telling The Media Who's Boinking Whom
Last week, prompted by the stories coming out about his company, ESPN President George Bodenheimer posted a memo to the in-house intranet outlining — and strongly reiterating — the rules about talking to the media....

I Choose To Believe This Could Be True
The old "friend-of-a-friend" pipeline says Michael Vick was spotted buying a bag of dog food at a Philadelphia CVS. Incriminating rumor, or comedy jumping-off point for Internet commenters? [Style Points]...

Yankees' Loss Inspires Frantic Search For New Small-Sample-Size Scapegoat
The Yankees lost 7-6 yesterday, and if it wasn't Girardi's fault, it was Burnett's fault or Hughes' fault or Swisher's fault, three men demonstrating an unmanly lack of clutch, unlike the New York media's new darling of clutch, Alex Rodriguez....

Phillies Win 16-Team "Who Gets To Lose To The Yankees" Tournament
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Philly Newsman Wants You To Ride The "Cooch Train"
Fox29's Mike Jerrick did some fantastic “man on the street” reporting for “Good Day Philly” today, interviewing high school kids in sombreros, beating a taxi cab driver with an oar, and then asking youths to ride the “Cooch Train.” Brilliant....

Tim McClelland Believes In His Heart That Nick Swisher Didn't Tag Up
Anyone else getting tired of umpires holding postgame press conferences to breakdown their poor decision making processes? It's bad enough we have to listen Joe Girardi explain his terrible bullpen moves, but this is getting out of hand....

This Man Did Too Much Blow But Still Passed Out While Eating
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...

StubHub Offering Great Deals On Mythical Mets-Cubs World Series Tickets
For baseball fans who have seen their teams' championship dreams already extinguished, October is the cruelest month. So it doesn't help when some mean website rubs salt in the wounds with offers of imaginary playoff tickets....

Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....

It's A Dutiful Play In The Neighborhood
You know it's one of those postseasons when the umps are getting ripped even for getting the calls correct....

Cardinal Hoops Players Face Justice, Pitino Style
Louisville's Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting law enforcement. Their coach says "it's serious" and they will be punished....just not in any way that involves playing time. Yes, that serious! [ESPN]...

A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....

More Commenting Changes Are Afoot: Wake Up And Read On...
Good morning, early risers/late night partiers. It's going to be a hectic, confusing day here at Deadspin (and most of Gawker media's sites) because, once again, they're dicking around with the comments recipe. Let's chop it up....

Chris Bosh Now Owns The Internet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......