ill Page 610 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Cubs Shirt Got These Kids Laid
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Read This: Don DeLillo's "At Yankee Stadium"
Granta has put up Don DeLillo's 1990 story "At Yankee Stadium," which depicts a Moonie wedding of 13,000 men and women (an actual event that remains perhaps the strangest phenomenon ever to materialize in the stadium, not counting Don Zimmer)....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

ESPN Actually Spoofs Itself With Bill Simmons's <em>The Decision</em>
The Sports Fella took to Beadle & Colin's Smile Time Shit-Sack Variety Hour yesterday to announce whether he would renew his season tickets to the Clippers in a parody of that LeBron thing. There's more self-criticism here than Ohlmeyer's last column....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Villanova (UPDATE)
"This was a webpage one of our basketball players had to make for a computer science course. Not an essay exactly, but definitely an excellent depiction of our student-athlete intelligence level." (Other students claim this is a fake, btw.)...

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Out-Of-Breath Broccoli-Costumed Man Proposes To Lady At Minor League Game
Joining the ranks of the other marriage proposal video we've posted comes this one from a recent Reading Phillies game, where a racing broccoli mascot won both the race and the heart of the fair maiden in the stands. [The 700 Level]...

Brad Lidge Signs A Fake Leg
Here's the Phillies' closer taking the time to sign a prosthetic limb after a recent game. Other players who claim not to have the time to sign for fans? Well, they no longer have a leg to stand on. [Crossing Broad]...

And You Thought LeBron Signing Would Be The End Of Unsourced Rumors
In an article that should probably have been in the gossip section, Chris Paul reportedly toasted at Carmelo Anthony's wedding to a "Big 3" of them and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York. It's ludicrous, but let Knicks fans have this. [NY Post]...

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Spain
After 63 matches, we have made it to the final. It figures that Wesley Sneijder and David Villa—two of the breakout stars of the tournament—would settle things....

Baseball Player Doesn't Apologize For Cursing, Proves Mayans Correct
Father shells out for a pair of $45 front-row pro-baseball tickets thus enabling son to tell friends, "My dad's the greatest in the whole world." Then, fate intervenes. It sends a foul ball into the old man's glove, and an obscenity-fueled line from the hirsute right-fielder's tongue into everybody...

Unemployed Wide Receiver: If I Was LeBron, I'd Be An Employed Wide Receiver
Let's be honest: Cleveland wasn't The Decision's biggest victim. Terrell Owens was. Don't believe me? Just interrupt Terrell Owens from his driveway sit-ups regimen and ask Terrell Owens yourself. That's what 104.5 The Zone radio in Nashville did the other day. For its 3 Hour Lunch....

Don’t Expect A Glut Of Goals In The World Cup Final
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Surveying The Wreckage Of The Matt Millen Era
Today, the Lions released Daniel Bullocks, the last player remaining from a 5-year stretch of drafts. That's 0-for-40. Here's what became of them all, and I warn you, it's not pretty....

One Middle Finger For Each Star Headed To The Heat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rick Reilly® Talks To Lance Armstrong's Ass Again
Rick Reilly's annual exercise in mistaking Lance Armstrong for Saint Sebastian is upon us, and once again it finds our correspondent at his subject's massage table, taking in the view....

Pay No Attention To The Buzzing In Your Ears
Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Someone That Is Certainly Not Tim Tebow Is Getting Lampooned On Adult Swim
Tom Treebow is a new Squidbillies character scheduled to premiere on the Adult Swim show's July 11 episode. He seems so familiar. [Adult Swim]...

Mexico's Guillermo Franco’s Family And Mexican Government Officials Brawl At Soccer City Stadium
The families of former West Ham striker Guillermo Franco and his elderly Mexico teammate Cuauhtemoc Blanco were involved in a stand up row with members of the Mexican government on Sunday, during their team's 3-1 loss to Argentina....

Deadspin I-Team: Is This Cole Hamels's Butt?
A routine Jamie Moyer interview took a turn toward Sipowicz Territory when a mysterious nude Phillie bared most in the background. But is it Cole Hamels? The Fightins seems to think so. Deadspin I-Team: Assemble! More evidence after the jump....