ill Page 641 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Knicks Settle For Jordan Hill, Knicks Fans Boo
8. New York Knicks: Jordan Hill, Arizona But hey, screw Knicks fans, right? Hill has the potential to develop into a stud, and with David Lee's future with the team in question this fills one of their needs....

Please Join KOGOD This Evening For NBA Draft Insanity
Deadspin's official draftnik for 2009 will be "KOGOD" aka "Unsilent Majority" aka "Baby KOGODINO." He will live blog until he falls asleep in a comfy chair covered in peanut shells and Velveeta. Have fun with him. [KSK]...

Twit Wars: The Sports Fella Vs. Mike Dunleavy, Sr.
Simmons is leaving blood on the keyboard because Clippers' coach Mike Dunleavy called him a "joke writer" on Cowherd's radio show. A possible tag-team bout with OchoCinco/Dunleavy vs. Merriman/Sports Fella is forthcoming. Let's make it a strap match. [SportsGuy33]...

LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...

Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....

Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "I know a cat named Way Out Willy."...

Lenny Dykstra Lets The World Know He's "Flying Higher"
Here's the portion of Bernard Goldberg's follow-up with Lenny Dykstra from last night's "Real Sports" where The Dude daftly mumbles his way through an interview he appears to have completely forgotten was scheduled....

USC Knows How To Pick Coaches
Trojan athletic director Mike Garrett says he'll put his hiring record up against anybody's record, provided that record doesn't include all the coaches who turned him down before he was stuck with Pete Carroll....

Breaking: North Carolina Natives Prefer Ol' Roy To Coach K
Roy Williams has a higher in-state approval rating than Mike Krzyzewski, but here's the shock statistic: Only 14 percent have an "unfavorable opinion" of K. Must be that we (part-time) North Carolinians put country first. [Under The Dome, PPP]...

The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....

Travis Henry Leads The League In Illegitimate Children
Travis Henry just may surpass Jason Caffey in their "who can have more illegitimate children" contest. A Florida woman is claiming that Henry is the father of her 18 month-old twins....

Note To Sportswriters: Wide Receivers Aren't Actually Divas
Don Banks, the Sports Illustrated writer last seen comparing Matt Millen to Dick Nixon in a good way, wonders today why so many wide receivers act like divas. Not to pick on Banks again, but ......

Roger Clemens Answers Questions From A Curious Houston Fan Base
Upholding a promise he made in May, Roger Clemens answered questions from Houstonist readers about his "situation." He seems in good spirits. Oh, and he signs off with "Peace In the Middle East." Like Diddy. [Houstonist]...

Tough Week For Phillies Fans All Around
First you have Marco Scutaro nabbing second after a walk as the Phillies infield snoozes, then you have two broads bashing each other in the stands at CBP because they're so distraught over it. [The Fightins]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Angel Stadium
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Angel Stadium....

Anxiety Disorder Stops Dontrelle Willis Again
So I guess The D-Train doesn't have it all figured it out. There were signs of promise, but after a couple of horrendous starts—8 walks in 3.2 IP on Sunday—Willis is back on the DL (head case)....

Rick Reilly Before He Was Rick Reilly®
Once upon a time, before he was a walking Father's Day card, before his writing became a neverending telethon for the blind and the deaf, the palsied and the pinkieless, the one-armed and the no-legged, Rick Reilly was really good....

Matt Millen <i>Is</i> The New Richard Nixon
Sports Illustrated has just published—courtesy of writer Don Banks—one of the most head-scratchingly bonkers essays of all-time, wherein Banks compares Matt Millen to Richard Nixon ... and somehow thinks that a compliment....

Ozzie Guillen Has A Sense Of Humor About His Part-Time Landscaping Work
The fiery White Sox manager apparently purchased an "OZZIE MOWS WRIGLEY FIELD" shirt: "Guillen bought a T-shirt and wore it in the clubhouse. "I might cut lawns but I don't stand in the rain selling T-shirts."[With Leather]...