ill Page 645 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Roger Clemens Will Win Back America One E-mail At A Time
It appears Roger Clemens wants to reach out and have an e-mail chat with some of the skeptical, heartbroken Astros fans. Where will he conduct this revealing online q-and-a session? Houstonist. com, of course....

Candace Parker And Shelden Williams Spawn
"Candace Parker gave birth to a baby girl today at 11:29am. ... The baby girl weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 inches in length." [TrueHoop]...

USC Athletics Not Entirely Above Board
Are you sitting down for this? It seems that USC—the Trojans!—might not be the most outstanding citizens in the world of college recruiting. Set your faces to stunned....

Benoit's Doctor Feelgood Headed To Jail
The 54-year-old doctor was hooking up a slew of athletes with illegal drugs. Unfortunately, three of them were killed and a judge decided he deserves part of the blame. [ESPN]...

How 'Bout 'Dem Ladies Killing Their Husbands Over 'Dem Cowboys?
" An Allen woman accused of killing her husband said she stabbed him in the heart after he turned up the volume of a Dallas Cowboys game, according to media reports." [DMN]...

Roger Clemens (And Gene Grabowski) Try To Get This Crazy Train Back On Track
Roger Clemens emerged after a year of hibernation to appear on the "Mike and Mike" show to defend himself against some of the latest allegations about his steroid use. He didn't do so hot....

Sportswriting Declared Dead. Again.
Next month's Texas Monthly has a story about the death of sportswriting. It's official: Writing about the death of sportswriting is finally dead....

The Legitimate Interest In Simmons' GM Candidacy Called Into Question
The Sports Fella set Minnesotans' hearts aflutter with his semi-serious T'Wolves GM idea, resulting in thousands of pro-Simmons emails from a disillusioned fan base to a befuddled T'Wolves executive office. But somebody's rigging the numbers....

The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....

An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...

Feuding Reporters Briefly Enliven Terrible Cavs-Hawks Series
NBA playoffs-related journalist slap-fight!...

Bill Plaschke Finally Vindicated By Manny Ramirez Suspension
There is a silver lining to be found in this Manny Ramirez mess—L.A. Times columnist Bill Plaschke can finally say "I told you so!" Manny duped a lot of people, but not this guy!...

Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....

Sorry Ladies: Bruce Pearl Is Off The Market!
Hearts are a-breakin' all across the Smokies today as Bruce Pearl has announced that he's affianced to lady friend Brandy Miller. Do they sell creamsicle-colored tuxedo shirts? [Knoxville News Sentinel]...

And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...

And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...

Former AFL QB, VP Nominee, HUD Secretary Jack Kemp Passes Away At 73
Jack Kemp, best known for his work with supply-side economics and frequent runners-up Bob Dole and the Buffalo Bills, has lost another battle — this one to cancer....

And The Fun Starts Tonight
Mets fans, welcome back to Citizens Bank Park. Tonight is the first game of our meaningless little rivalry that seems to bring out the free-swingers in all of us. First up, El Gonzo, from Philly.com...

An Ill-Informed Betting Guide To The Kentucky Derby
It's that time of year—the five-week period when people who could not care less about horse racing the other 47 weeks of the year suddenly become experts in animal husbandry, gambling and stupid hats....

Stinky Jinx Makes Greinke Cranky
Zack Greinke makes the cover of Sports Illustrated (the first Royal in 16 years) and promptly loses his 43-inning scoreless streak. I thought this guy was great at overcoming obstacles or something. [FantasyPros911]...