ill Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Will Ferrell Teaches Twinkie Protection Techniques
According to Sports by Brooks, this will be running at some point today on the NFL Network, which means that many of you will only see it here because you can't turn away from the intense beefcake appeal of Chris Berman. So enjoy it here....

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...

Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....

Curt Schilling Accused Of Being Self-Aggrandizing. Really.
We're not sure it matters, ultimately, whether or not Curt Schilling, as Gary Thorne famously (and obliviously) claimed last evening, actually painted blood on his sock in the 2004 World Series. We don't think he did, and his performance was rather amazing either way, but Schilling has always seemed...

Nobody's Better At Losing Than The Phillies
Here's a factoid we didn't know: With just 33 more losses — a figure, at this rate, they'll reach by June — the Philadelphia Phillies will become the first professional sports franchise to reach the sainted total of 10,000 losses. Somehow, it seems fitting that the milestone will be reached by a Phi...

Identifying Some Of The Unattractive Men In Sports
The consensus seems to be that FC Barcelona's Ronaldinho is a beautiful athlete to watch ... as long as you don't allow your gaze to venture above his neck. It's great to watch him, but you might not want to really look at him. Sort of the opposite of Sue Bird....

Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Charlie Manuel Do Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Pacman, Mario Both Deeply Apologize, Sort Of
It's a morning of apologies around the world of the NFL. First off, our main man Pac Man Jones took out a full page ad in The Tennessean saying, you know, sorry about that whole suspension thing....

Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown
An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as...

Charlie Manuel Continues to Entertain Us As Only He Can
So at first Phillies manager Charlie Manuel said he wasn't going to talk about his Tuesday dustup with radio guy Howard Eskin (as seen and heard above), but thanks in part to Dan Steinberg at DC Sports Bog, that vow didn't last long. Prior to Wednesday's game with the Nationals (the Phillies left ni...

Mario Williams: Fast, Not That Furious
Last night, The Fanhouse posted a video that appeared to show Texans defensive tackle Mario Williams racing his lamborghini down a highway extremely fast. It didn't take long for whoever posted the video to subsequently take it down, but 850 The Buzz grabbed some video stills and provided a rundown ...

The Daily Closer: On The Streets Of Philadelphia
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Bill Hall Is Smarter Than The Average Centerfielder
Back when we lived in St. Louis, we made the mistake of parking our car before a Rams game in the rooftop garage for the Gateway Arch, which is technically federal property. This was not necessarily a problem until we popped open a beer for a tiny, sad little tailgate. Within a matter of seconds, th...

Buy Bill Cowher's Junk!
One of the many reasons it's good to be a famous sports figure: When you want to clear out your house of a bunch of useless, outdated junk, you can slap a "As Owned By ..." sticker on it, say it's for charity and look like a great guy, rather than just tossing everything out to the street corner and...

ESPN Tries To Find Someone Who Can Match Skip Bayless' Intelligence
So you know how "Cold Pizza" is changing its name to "ESPN First Take" and moving from New York City to Bristol next month? You didn't know this? What's that you say? You don't care at all? Yeah. We can probably understand where you're coming from there....

Remembering what Jackie Robinson meant, and who he was
As we prepare for Jackie Robinson Day in baseball on Sunday — the Cardinals, among other teams, are considering having every player wear No. 42, which gives us the unique opportunity of seeing David Eckstein and Brad Thompson pay tribute to Jackie — we thought we would provide our own tribute to a g...

Bill Romanowski Just Can't Quit You
With inflation being what it is, we feel that we have to be very prudent with our entertainment dollar. That's why we will only see new movies with the following fun synopsis:...

Much Anger In Aggieland
It would be safe to say that Texas A&M fans aren't handling the loss of Billy Gillespie to Kentucky very well....

Joe Tiller Has Had It Up To Here With Your HTML
The life of a college football coach is fraught with peril. Boosters are constantly breathing down your neck, players are temperamental and inconsistent and, of course, there's always the possibility that some crazed fellow will end up finding all your cellphone records. But if you're Purdue coach J...