ill Page 682 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Serena Williams Goes All Crazy-Lady On Terrified Line Judge
Serena Williams lost to Kim Clijsters tonight in the U.S. Open semi-final but it was the not-so-graceful way she exited that everyone is yapping about. You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge......

Never Forget
So since it's THAT day, I've decided to re-run this item I wrote for the Emeritus roast extravaganza. This is our anniversary, too. Kind of. Enjoy it again, if you'd like....

Triumph Of Will
So many of you sent in photos capturing Leitch's brief cameo on YES (photos sent via computer of a TV screen on which a writer is staring at a computer screen) that we decided to make a pretty gallery. Enjoy!...

Rick Reilly®'s <i>SportsCenter</i> Audition Tape
No, you weren't having a nightmare. Rick Reilly co-hosted the late L.A. SportsCenter last night and it was everything you could have hoped for and more. (You were hoping for stilted camera presence and lame fatherly jokes, right?)...

Look Who Can Finally Afford A Mac
Viewers were shocked and appalled to see the YES Network cameras focus on Emeritus looking like a real grown-up reporter during tonight's Yankee game. One reader described his performance as "surly." [H/T Matthew and Kevin]...

Emmitt Smith Says Romo And Phillips Have To Stop Being Polite, Start Being Real
Articulately-challenged running back Emmitt Smith is frustrated with his former team, and he's blaming Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and Wade Phillips for the Lombardi trophy drought in Big D, urging them to yell at more people....

Cops: Former WCW Champ Made His Girlfriend Tap Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cole Hamels Continues His Slow Transformation Into A Doily
Here, via Philebrity, is an advertisement from the new issue of Philadelphia Magazine, in which the Hamels family tries to sell you a luxury condo by posing like a couple of Precious Moments figurines in front of a horrified city....

Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This final 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Curt Schilling Says Possible Senate Bid "Not For Laughs"
"I have no ambition to enter into a life of politics," Schilling blogs. But for when he does, Curt's conveniently laid out his positions for MA voters on everything from gun control to gay marriage. [38 pitches]...

The One Where Sweaty Will Leitch Startles A Man
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

Carolla Needlessly Rants About Simmons' "Retard Chicken Pussy" Bosses (UPDATE)
On his podcast, Adam Carolla declared that some "retard fucking hack" at ESPN wouldn't allow the Sports Male to appear on his show. The rant is a thing of beauty that earns only a minor demerit for being totally untrue....

Why Your Team Sucks: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Rick Reilly'®s New Column Has Sports Fella Overtones, Annoyed Readers Claim
Many readers have noticed a similarity to Rick Reilly®'s latest 800-and-out offering about fan loyalty and one the Sports Fella wrote in 2002, but considering that Reilly doesn't ever read Simmons (too many words!) it's unlikely he lifted it....

Rick Pitino's "Adversity" Is Good For Everyone
Any time an interviewer starts his questioning by telling his subject, "You're such a passionate guy and I have such affection for you," you know it's going to be revealing TV....

Curt Schilling Not Done Promoting Curt Schilling
Sure, Curt Schilling has all the trappings of a politician: he's a smug, self-righteous blowhard with a penchant for fondling other people's wives. But is he shameless or delusional enough to gun for Teddy K's vacant Senate seat?...

Bengals' First Pick's Three-Part Fail: Fat, Injured, And A Bengal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

No One In Jacksonville Will Be Forced To Watch The Jaguars
Twelve NFL teams could be affected by blackout rules this year—only three teams had blackouts last season—including Jacksonville, where local television may end up broadcasting zero home games. It's still better than living in Tallahassee. [SBJ]...