ill Page 695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who's Sorry Now? Curt Schilling Edition
The Curt Schilling/Barry Bonds Tempest in a Specimen Cup took another odd turn on Wednesday, as friends and loved ones of the Red Sox pitcher hastily organized an intervention on his behalf. On Tuesday Schilling lit into Bonds, with the famous "He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his ta...

Wild Nights In Salt Lake City
Just Call Me Juice points out what we're all thinking but are afraid to admit: These NBA playoffs have been so much more entertaining than the NCAA Tournament. (Assuming, of course, you ignore the Eastern Conference.) Last night's wild overtime thriller, a mad hatter 127-117 Jazz win over the Warrio...

About Last Night ...
What you missed during another senseless school squirrel attack ... • NBA: That clanking sound you hear is the Warriors going down 2-0 to the Jazz. • MLB: Dice, Dice Baby ... Manny, Matsuzaka lead Red Sox over Blue Jays, 9-3. • Tennis: The Chronicles of Roddick ... big fun at the Rome Masters....

Brewers Fans Are As Excited As A Tiny Puppy
For the first time in many a moon, it is kind of cool to be a Milwaukee Brewers fan. They have the best record in baseball, they're 6 1/2 games up in the National League Central (and they won again today) and they're even tossing in an occasional beanbrawl, just for good measure. And because they're...

The Airing Of Grievances: Curt Schilling Edition
It kind of makes sense that with Curt Schilling pitching only every fifth day, he would then have four days left over for complaining. First on his list is Barry Bonds. When asked on WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" radio show if he thinks Bonds' home run totals are tainted, Schilling said:...

Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...

It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...

Heat Don't Make Much Of A Fuss About Leaving
A byproduct of the supposedly middling, uninspiring champions of the last year — the Colts, the Cardinals, the Heat — is the collapse to level soil the next season. A team that overachieves in the postseason one year is likely to return to equilibrium the next. We'll see what happens with the Colts,...

Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....

Ryan Howard To Fight Michael Strahan For Jared's Meat
If you caught the afternoon baseball game on Fox yesterday, you might've seen the new Subway commercial starring Jared and Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. I didn't see it, myself ... but since it doesn't yet exist on YouTube, I have to assume that means that it's way less gay than the giggling Michael...

Alonzo Mourning Came Back For This?
The Miami Heat's comeback attempt down the stretch imploded because of a flurry of Dwyane Wade turnovers, and — of all things — Ben Wallace shooting free throws like Larry freaking Bird....

Grant Hill's Goodbye Party Was Not Much Fun
Out of politeness more than anything else, I thought maybe I should take a second to acknowledge that the NBA did still exist and actually operated on the NFL's special day. Its importance, obviously, is miniscule when in comparison to the issue of which college superstars will lead last year's 3-13...

Our Draft Coverage Concludes, Quinn-Less
With the 21st pick of the NFL Draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars select Reggie Nelson, S, Florida. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Willis McGahee Is Easily Replaced
With the 12th pick of the NFL Draft, the Buffalo Bills select Marshawn Lynch, RB, Cal. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Patrick Willis Going From Mississippi To San Francisco
With the 11th pick of the NFL Draft, the San Francisco 49ers select Patrick Willis, LB, Ole Miss. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Matt Millen May Not Have Screwed This Up
The Detroit Lions, with the 2nd overall pick, take Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Will Ferrell Teaches Twinkie Protection Techniques
According to Sports by Brooks, this will be running at some point today on the NFL Network, which means that many of you will only see it here because you can't turn away from the intense beefcake appeal of Chris Berman. So enjoy it here....

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...
