ill Page 720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When Shopping For Fancy Soaps And Duvet Covers, Will Allen Takes No Chances
A confounding incident involving the Miami Dolphins' Will Allen at a Miami Bed, Bath and Beyond parking lot has the veteran cornerback being questioned by local police. There are conflicting stories and it's not entirely clear what the beef was about, but there is some speculation:...

Bill Simmons Is Enjoying His "Rebellious" Status
Ever since his gauntlet-throwing interview with us last week, Bill Simmons has been doodling with his blogspot page. Amusingly, he seems to be drawing a parallel between himself and Tom Cruise's character in The Firm....

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering what set off everyone's obsession with anal fisting... • MLB: The Rays beat the Cardinals, but don't worry about Will, he's drunk. • NBA: In the night's one playoff game that didn't totally suck, the Lakers knocked the Jazz out of the playoffs. So yes, it is possible ...

Ricky Williams' Presence Means Every Little Thing Gonna Be Alright
It's easy to forget that the Miami Dolphins will once again have Ricky Williams in the backfield in 2008, but he's received Bill Parcells' support (amazing) and is rehabbed and ready to go for next season. In an interview with the Austin American Statesman, we find out that Williams, at 31, is much ...

Orioles Magic ... Uh, Catch It, Or Something
We're not sure anyone other than Kevin Millar is in on the joke here, but alas: Here's "Orioles Magic," the new/old/new theme song for the Baltimore Orioles, sung by the Baltimore Orioles, rocked out by the Baltimore Orioles....


Reggie Miller Does Not Believe In Shot Glasses Or Belvedere
Yes, that's former Indiana Pacers sharpshooter Reggie Miller filling the mouth of what appears to be a very thirsty woman with a few fingers of Grey Goose....

Has Troubled Joe Phillips Resurfaced Online?
Most of us not in the Kansas City-area probably heard first about former Chiefs' defensive lineman Joe Phillips' troubles through the fascinating HBO Real Sports segment from last January titled "Family Burden." The story focused on a handful of wives of ex-NFL players going through hard times physi...

Simmons: "Certain Promises Were Not Kept"
We're not the only ones who noticed that Bill Simmons hasn't written a column in two weeks — until today, anyway — and hasn't been featured much on the home page of ESPN.com. We figured it was nothing; the man has taken extended breaks before. But, just to be thorough, we emailed him and asked if an...

Examining The Procreation Habits Of The Modern Day Athlete For Fun
You've probably asked yourself a million times, "I wish there was a blog out there that would let me know how how Shawn Kemp Jr. Jr. Jr.'s doing or give me updates on Darren McFadden's paternity suit situation."...

Zero To Three In Six Seconds
Somewhere, Neal Ball and Bill Wambsganss are smiling (which is creepy, because they're dead). They finally get to welcome another member into the Cleveland Unassisted Triple Play Club, as Asdrubal Cabrera made the magic happen on Monday night against the Blue Jays. It was the 14th unassisted triple ...

Our Field Trip To Miller Park
We would like to formally thank everyone who made our visit to Milwaukee this weekend so enjoyable. We saw two NL Central "contenders" fire their closers, two games decided in the ninth inning and we even took the "hard hat" tour of the Miller Brewing plant, where we saw, first hand, why people are ...

Excavating Joe Montana For Fun And Profit
The professional snoopers at The Smoking Gun have uncovered their latest oddball lawsuit between Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana and his ex-wife, Kim Moses, pertaining to the auction sale of some personal items from his college days including a photo I.D. and sappy love letters (one on a Ziggy ...

White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...

Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...

Ozzie Guillen Does A Brilliant Ozzie Guillen Impersonation
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Gui...

Fred Lynn Is America's Fishing Buddy
Former major leaguer Fred Lynn is probably one of the nicest guys on the planet. He's a man who's brimming with self-contentedness and is disarmingly friendly. After you speak with him for two minutes, it's no surprise that seemingly every dude who grew up in New England in the past 40 years is so o...

Your Derby Morning Horsey Preview
This may come as a surprise to some, given my affinity for sports nobody else likes, but I don't know dick about horse racing. That's why I've brought in reader Randy King to provide a little bit of knowledge while we wait to lose lots of money. His words are after the jump....

Karl Malone Once Liked Them Very, VERY Young
So you know that story earlier this week about the Bills draftee who's the secret son of Karl Malone? Well, the plot thickens. According to The Buffalo News, Malone might have been robbing the cradle a little bit....

UNC's Bobby Frasor Might Hurt Himself. Again.
The man preparing to jump off the roof into that fantastic above-ground pool is, according to some college hoops bloggers, University of North Carolina point guard Bobby Frasor. He's just having some fun, blowing off steam, as classes wind down for the semester at North Carolina. No harm, really — h...