ill Page 712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Millen's Discerning Eye For Genius
Whenever Lions general manager Matt Millen ("Fire Millen!") makes some sort of executive decision, we tend to sit up and take notice, if just so we can film it and send it into one of those blooper shows. Today's decision is the hiring ("Fire Millen!") of Buccaneers defensive line coach Rod Marine...

Poll: Isiah Wins, But It's Closer Than You Think
Well, the results are in from our poll about a theoretical (for now) fight between Isiah Thomas and Bill Simmons, and, well, we're rather shocked: You give Simmons a lot better chance of winning this duel than we possibly could have though. Out of Deadspin readers, 46.2 percent of you think Simmo...

The Ugliest Baseball Player Of All Time
Ever wonder who the ugliest baseball player of all time was? (This sounds like every after-the-fourth-beer sports-bar conversation we've ever had.) A deeply entertaining discussion is going on about this at Athletics Nation and, by all accounts, the ugliest player in baseball history had to have b...

The Long Road Of Sean Payton
If you missed it, the New Orleans Saints hired Cowboys assistant head coach Sean Payton to be its new head coach. We feel somewhat uniquely qualified to discuss this hire, because, by pure happenstance, we've been following Payton's football career since we were about 10 years old....

Isiah Thomas. Bill Simmons. Quien Es Mas Macho?
In one of those stories that almost seem too good to be true around here, it appears that good ole' Bill Simmons has been threatened by Knicks general "manager" Isiah Thomas on — of all things — Stephen A. Smith's radio show. In his newest "More Cowbell" post, a Simmons reader writes in:...

The End Of Shaq Is Nigh
We couldn't have been more thoroughly depressed by last night's Lakers-Heat matchup, otherwise known as Shaq-Kobe II (or IV, or whatever). Aside from the much-heralded but mostly boring "peace accord" between Shaq and Kobe, and aside from the game itself (the Lakers finally beat Shaq), we were dow...

Texas Hangs On Against Villanova
In maybe the biggest contrast of styles that's even possible between two teams in the Top 20, Texas held on to beat Villanova in an excellent game, 58-55. This one was much better for the Longhorns than the last time they played a top-5 team on CBS....

Ah, the Joys of Baseball Trade Rumors
We're admittedly a little tingly about this rumored Abreu-for-Manny-for-Miggy scuttlebutt that's been tossed around, oh, the last couple months. As a Philly fan, it'd be easy to see the town completely embracing Ramirez. Granted, they'll get on him about that whole "hustle" thing, but the same com...

Blogdom's Best: Fire Millen!
We have traveled to many strange, exotic team hater blogs, witnessed the disdain first hand, and purchased souvenirs. But now we shall go one step beyond — stepping into uncharted territory: hater blogs devoted to a single person. Yes, we know it's dangerous. There's a chance we will never see hom...

Bill Walton, Man ... BILL! WALTON!
We'd be remiss if we didn't point out the ESPN Sportsnation chat with Bill Walton, in which everyone's favorite Acid Fried Analyst responds to your innocent five-word questions with three paragraphs of unadulturated Capitalized madness....

Look Out For The Black Mamba. (Relax, We Don't Mean Literally)
We hate to be the ones who have to point this out, but after all we've made fun of him for — with our personal favorite still being Chuck Klosterman's notion that the Lakers are like "an eighth-grade intramural team which happens to have one kid with a mustache" — it's worth noting that the man no...

NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...

Illinois Joins The Ranks Of The Defeated
That nasty Iowa defense spent the day sweating Dee Brown into a 2-of-14 performance from field, holding him to just six points and polishing off a 63-48 Iowa victory....

Playoff Pants Party: Jaguars Vs. Patriots
This is the late game tomorrow night, which means, if you plan your day correctly, you should be properly hammered enough by halftime to confuse that dude in the corner with some ex-girlfriend who did you wrong. (Or, for female and non-traditional male readers, uh ... OK, we're not sure what the ...

New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...

Jamar Smith Fever, People: Catch It
Our father knows us very well, so when we went home for the holidays, he bought us the best gift we can remember receiving: A Illini jersey T-shirt of Jamar Smith. Who's Jamar Smith, you ask? Oh, you'll know very soon. He's the Illini's freshman shooting guard whose 3-point touch is like a tip-in....

Tracking The NBA's Secret Man
If you're unsure of just how cool this whole Web stuff can be, get over to Henry Abbott's True Hoop and check out how investigative reporting will be done in the future. (And we don't mean "with rocket packs," though that's possible.)...

Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century....

A Match Made In ... Well, In Detroit
We were marvelling this morning at the potential news: Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions are bringing in former Saints coach Jim Haslett for a job interview. We don't necessarily think that hiring Haslett would bring the Fire Millen crowd much closer to dragging the guy out of his house and having...

They Must Draw 6,000 Fans, Or God Will Call Them Home
So we were watching the Illini's 89-64 victory over Southeast Missouri State last night — we have the ESPN Full Court package; you honestly do not want to know how much money we give that network — and when it was over, we flipped around the other games. It was a bad Full Court night; nothing but ...