in Page 4027 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....
Motorized Vehicles And Elastics: A Match Made In Heaven
Of things we would never agree to do, this almost tops the list (Venezuelan drug mule still reigns at No. 1). But this adventurous lass is all on board. You rock, Amber!...
Albert Pujols Knows Who Wrote The Star-Spangled Banner
A few years ago, Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez garnered some rare positive press for becoming an American citizen and carrying an American flag through the outfield. Wednesday, Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols became an American citizen by acing his citizenship test, scoring a perfect 100 perce...
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....
Blythe: Billy Packer's Greatest Moment
We are quite honored today to welcome once again Will Blythe, the former literary editor of Esquire and author of the great book "To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever", to the warm embrace of Deadspin. (We interviewed Blythe about the book when it came out in hardcover. The paperback is out now....
Your New 2006 Tour de France champion? Not Quite Yet, Oscar
Wait, just hold everything here. The Nation of France, postponing a major confrontation? That's odd. The air was thick with nervous anticipation (and, of course, fermented cheese) today as that country's national doping agency was expected to rule on Floyd Landis and the Urine Sample of Mystery. Bla...
When Will The Media Elite Stop Tearing Down Our White Heroes?
Every debate needs comic relief, and God bless him, Rush Limbaugh is always good for that. The former director of promotions for the Kansas City Royals in the early 1980s, and at one time the word's fifth-leading importer of OxyContin (behind Brazil), Limbaugh has become in recent years obsessed wit...
It Appears That Mike Tyson Might Need Some Help Or Something
This is going to come as a shock to most of you — it certainly came as a shock to us — but former heavyweight champion and all-around beacon of stability Mike Tyson has never been in rehab before. Seriously: With all the madness that has gone on with Tyson throughout his life, he's never been to reh...
Welcome To Indianapolis, Mr. McLeod
"So, Keith, welcome. Glad to have you on the Pacers."...
Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...
Blythe: A Creepy Feeling In Chapel Hill
We are quite honored today to welcome Will Blythe, the former literary editor of Esquire and author of the great book "To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever", to the warm embrace of Deadspin. (We interviewed Blythe about the book when it came out in hardcover. The paperback is out now....
The Last Of Those Old Spice Polls
You know those Old Spice ads they're running around here, where you can win Final Four tickets? (That's what they tell us, anyway.) Well, here's the last one. Hope you got the first two right, we guess....
Behold The Power Of Cheese
As if you didn't know, the New Zealand Cheese-Rolling Championship was Tuesday, with Gore's Tom Mackay claiming the title. For those not "with cheese," the object of the event is to hurtle down a steep incline with 10 or 15 other participants in pursuit of a large wheel of one of the town's finest c...
Ron Zook Will Turn Your Conventional Wisdom Upside Down
Our beloved alma mater, the University of Illinois, is having a mediocre year in basketball and has won, like, four games in two years, even forcing us to sit through a 33-0 loss to Rutgers last year that mostly resembled a cock fight between a rabid rooster and an egg. But worry not, fellow alums: ...
But When You Get Down To It, Does Michael Irvin Make Any More Sense?
Only a little more than a year to go before the 2008 Summer Olympics, which should just give the Chinese government enough time to run Beijing through spell check....
Kevin Pittsnogle, All-Star For A 2-26 Team
You were wondering whatever happened to former Pittsburgh West Virginia hoops start Kevin Pittsnogle, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU? ADMIT IT!...
Charles Barkley Will Split Those Nines And You Cannot Stop Him
We imagine that a night of gambling with Charles Barkley must be a lot like the scene in Casino where Nicky Santoro is losing at blackjack; very little tipping, and at some point Don Rickles ends up being savagely pummeled. Sunday was an exception though, as Barkley announced that he won $700,000 in...
Also, He Hired Snipers Outside The Training Facility, Just To Make It "Interesting"
What boxers put themselves through while training for a fight can border on the inhuman; if Rocky IV is to be believed, it's so rough that sometimes they're forced to grow a beard just to survive. Current world cruiserweight champion O'Neil Bell added a new wrinkle to the training process: throwing ...
Just What This Guy Needs: Free Stuff
We forget this sometimes, but the winner of the Super Bowl MVP is awarded with a brand new gas-guzzler for peddling their wares on the world's largest stage. Therefore, we have the sublime pleasure of watching a man who makes eight figures a season decided which mammoth Cadillac he'll give to staffe...
It Washes Away Memories From The Sidewalks Of Life
When we look back at Super Bowl XLI in a few years, what will we remember most? The Sex Cannon's free-flying vertical missives into the night? Tony Dungy at last setting race relations straight in this country? Jimmy Fallon sitting next to Janet Reno on a couch? We figure the lasting image of Super ...