in Page 4086 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tonya Harding, The Female Butterbean
The Sports Pulse takes a look back at the rise and fall (mostly fall) of Tonya Harding over the past twelve years. It's hard not to think about her and Nancy Kerrigan when the Winter Olympics roll around. It was a time when it was OK to be a figure skater and not appear to still going through pube...

Good Morning, Class...
It's MJD, back again as your substitute teacher. And I promise, no more pictures of speedskating "moose knuckles," (unless Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis begin insulting the size of each others respective "moose knuckles"), and no Arena Football (unless Bon Jovi takes over as starting QB of the Soul...

NBC Resorts to Child Porn for Olympics Ratings Boost
Or, at least, it would seem that way. Why else would the Olympic website feature some, um, questionable photos of figure skater Sasha Cohen? Hey, I'm no prude, but for the love of Jon Benet Ramsey this just seems a little...creepy. Maybe this is strategic network synergy? You know, NBC gets people...

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bob Sansevere
The St. Paul Pioneer-Press has an annual contest called "Average Joe Columnist," in which a field of 16 non-journalists submit sports articles, and are judged American Idol-style by sports editor Mike Bass and columnist Bob Sansevere. The latter, it seems, fancies himself in the Simon Cowell role — ...

Desperate Dog Search Now Getting Help from Weirdos
Yes, dogs are fun little animals and all that, but the search for the prized whippet named Vivi who escaped from JFK terminal after last week's Westminster Dog Show has gone completely off the rails. Joining the search for the missing champion dog are none other than 12 psychics....

On Olympic L'amour
It's the age-old question — does abstaining from sex help an athlete perform better? That may not have been the best way to frame that question. Anyway, you know what we mean. Some say yes — including gold medal speed skater Chad Hedrick. "I think it really helps to stay away from that and really ...

Williams' Career May Have Gone Up In Smoke
Ricky Williams' 2006-07 season has apparently ended before it began, as Denver TV station KDVR reported late Sunday that the Dolphins running back has either failed another drug test, or failed to show up for one. Either would be a violation serious enough for the running back, who has been suspen...

The Italian Job
OK, now this is what we're talkin' about. Remember how you said that you wouldn't be watching the Winter Olympics? You pointed out, as we recall, that American Idol was kicking the Olympics' ass in the ratings, and that watching luge was about as exciting as observing avocados ripen. Well, what if...

We Have To Do Something About Male Speedkating Uniforms
Because I don't want this to ever happen again. In fact, I'm not even sure what is happening there. Calling it a cameltoe would be disrespectful to camels everywhere. Thanks (kinda) to the reader who sent in the pic. He made me look at it, and I'm making you look at it....

Speedskating Beef
The issues between U.S. speedskaters Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis continue to garner attention. I mentioned it briefly yesterday, but the story's picking up a little steam, and hopefully has the potential to develop into a Harding/Kerrigan situation. If things continue on this path, one is going t...

Nate Robinson, Controversy, Abound
We can't even have an All-Star Saturday Night without officiating controversy anymore. Last night in the Sprite Rising Stars Slam Dunk Contest, 5'9" Nate Robinson took down Andre Iguodala, but not without one of the biggest and most important officiating controversies of our time. Or, maybe not....

Johnny Weir Is Huge In Kansas. And In The Glute Area.
Eventually, yes, the Johnny Weir posts will stop. But not today. I think I might be developing a crush on the guy, and I'm not even gay....

Nudie Magazine Day!
Well, alright, it's not a magazine, it's a calendar. But I think you'll enjoy the Nude Curlers Calendar anyway. The Wade Blogs has gotten their paws on these titillating photos of various curling athletes, and I agree: I'll take the nude curlers over the SI Swimsuit Issue. It's not a judgment on t...

Black Guy Wins Gold Medal
American Shani Davis won a gold medal earlier today in the 1000m speedskating event, becoming the first black person to win an individual gold medal in Winter Olympic history. Debi Thomas won a bronze in figure skating in 1988, and Vonetta Flowers won a gold medal as a member of the women's bobsle...

Bode Bites It Once More; French Guy Gets Robbed
In his third stab at medaling in the Torino Games, Bode Miller once again has refused to conform to society's unjust request for him to win something. NBC's going to let the anticipation build for 8 more hours before showing it to us, but this time, Bode hit a gate, lost his balance, skied off the...

The Special Edition That Wasn't There
We've always been curious about what happens to those pre-made shirts that say things like "Houston Astros 2005 World Series Champions" — it turns out this is what happens — but now we have a new question: What about those "special editions" newspapers put together weeks in advance that end up bei...

The Whole SYSTEM Is Out Of Order!
Oh, how nice it is to take a trip to the halcyon days of yesteryear, to revisit — again ... and again ... and again — our old friends Renee Thomas and Angela Keathley, the Carolina Panthers lesbian cheerleaders. (Honestly, it's so warm having them back in the news again, like going back and visiti...

Matt Millen's Discerning Eye For Genius
Whenever Lions general manager Matt Millen ("Fire Millen!") makes some sort of executive decision, we tend to sit up and take notice, if just so we can film it and send it into one of those blooper shows. Today's decision is the hiring ("Fire Millen!") of Buccaneers defensive line coach Rod Marine...

This Is Not A Picture Of Chastity Bono
Far be it from us to mock a guy for going back to rediscover his roots and promote the game of baseball internationally ... but sweet God, what has happened to former Reds reliever Danny Graves? When you get back from Vietnam, before you head to Indians training camp ... might we suggest a workou...

The Long Road Of Sean Payton
If you missed it, the New Orleans Saints hired Cowboys assistant head coach Sean Payton to be its new head coach. We feel somewhat uniquely qualified to discuss this hire, because, by pure happenstance, we've been following Payton's football career since we were about 10 years old....