injuries Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aw Fuck, Shohei Ohtani Needs Tommy John Surgery
As a hitter, Shohei Ohtani has seemed pretty dang healthy since returning to the Angels lineup from a UCL sprain in his throwing elbow in July. As a pitcher, however, he was kept off the mound for nearly three months while undergoing a non-surgical rehab program. When he returned last weekend, he on...
José Abreu Needed Emergency Surgery To Save A "Strangled" Testicle
White Sox first baseman José Abreu hasn’t played in a couple weeks, a result of an ambiguous outpatient “lower abdominal surgery” he reportedly underwent on August 20. Hernioplasty? Appendectomy? A testicle that twisted around and became tangled up in its own [passes out cold]:...
Elena Delle Donne Will Somehow Start Game 4 After Nasty Knee Injury
Elena Delle Donne is listed as a starter for the Washington Mystics in their do-or-die Game 4 semifinal matchup against the Atlanta Dream Sunday afternoon. I am sure you will join me in saying please don’t make me watch the video of her knee bending backwards like al dente linguine again....
The College Football Season Began With A UCF Player Carried Off On A Stretcher<em></em>
Thursday night was, for all intents and purposes, the beginning of the college football season, as an actual ranked team in UCF took on UConn in the silliest rivalry in sports. (There’s also a Northwestern-Purdue game, for the true perverts among us.)...
Doug Pederson, Scolding Reporter For Asking Same Question A Different Way: "Ask It A Different Way"
By my count, Eagles head coach Doug Pederson was asked five different times about the status of Carson Wentz in his Sunday afternoon press conference. The first was something like “has Carson been cleared for contact,” and from there the assorted reporters tried out a few promising variations....
Aaron Sanchez Says He's Been Out For Two Months Because A Suitcase Hurt His Finger
Blue Jays starter Aaron Sanchez hasn’t pitched since June 21, in a rough one-inning appearance against the Angels. After he exited that start, Sanchez went on the 60-day DL for a bruised right finger, and he’s now touring the rehab-start circuit....
The Details Of Teddy Bridgewater's Knee Surgery Are Gruesome
It’s been nearly two years since then-Vikings (and current Jets) quarterback Teddy Bridgewater suffered a catastrophic knee injury during practice. Now, the doctor who performed the surgeries to repair Bridgewater’s ruined knee, Dan Cooper, has shared some of the details of what went down with ESPN....
UFC Fighter Bryce Mitchell Drilled His Nuts Apart
“So i was gunna train today but i ripped my nutsack in half,” begins a Homeric Facebook post by UFC featherweight Bryce Mitchell. This is the “A screaming comes across the sky” of our time. ...
Victim Of Golf-Course Finger Biting Said It Sounded "Like Someone Chewing On A Dorito"
Derek Harkins, a 46-year-old Massachusetts man, was arraigned in Plymouth District Court on Monday on charges of assault and battery, mayhem, and disturbing the peace, after he allegedly bit off another man’s finger while trying to enjoy a golf outing....
This Is A Rough Little League Injury
A 77 MPH Little League fastball might not be equivalent to a 100 MPH major-league fastball, but a pitch to the crotch is painful at any level of baseball....
MLB Network Falls For Joke Report That Trevor Bauer Is Treating Himself For "CIA Nanites"
It’s possible to believe a lot of whacky stories about Trevor Bauer, who is both a big old dummy and also a too-online crank who once wanted to use a soldering iron to cauterize a finger wound. A report that Bauer wants to use alternative methods to treat the stress fracture in his right fibula woul...
Soccer Fan Takes A Ball To The Dome And Handles It Like A Champ
I don’t know about you but if my unsuspected skull had just gotten blown the hell up by a flying soccer ball, I wouldn’t have reacted with half the poise and grace as this lady did:...
What's The Dumbest Way You've Injured Yourself?
Inspired by this good tweet—...
Joseph Fauria Admits He Didn't Hurt Himself Trying To Stop His Adorable, Tiny Dog From Peeing
Former Lions tight end Joseph Fauria, who in 2014 had the strangest excuse for a non-sports injury (non-baseball division) when he said he sprained his ankle while trying to stop his Pomsky from peeing in the house, has finally come clean. Lil’ Rufio was framed!...
We Regret To Inform You That Yet Another Sixers Rookie Is Super Injured
The Philadelphia 76ers look like they’ll be one of two halfway decent teams in the Eastern Conference next year—and, like the Celtics, they are stocked with a whole bunch of young dudes who look like they’ll be able to keep the team good for a while. One such young dude is Zhaire Smith, for whom the...
And Now, James Franklin's Dark Purple Butt
Penn State head coach James Franklin spoke at Penn State Media Day about, among other things, the experience of taking all his players paintballing for a recent team outing. This may not have been a great idea for a person whose job it is to push these competitive young men to endure exhaustion and ...
UFC Fighter Jared Gordon Shares Video Of Street Brawl That Left Him With Grisly Injury
UFC lightweight Jared Gordon lost his most recent bout in the cage in February, but as he revealed yesterday, he fought with a completely fucked-up left hand. Gordon told ESPN’s Ariel Helwani that he suffered a grisly hand injury, requiring 21 stitches, when he defended his friend in a wild street f...
Andrew Luck Survived Throwing A Football, Quick Everyone Knock On Wood
The thrilling news out of Colts training camp this weekend was that quarterback Andrew Luck, whose throwing shoulder has been crabmeat for several hundred years now, completed three (3) days of practice without his arm falling off:...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Suffers Dearly For That MLS Life
Wayne Rooney scored his first MLS goal Saturday night, in his fourth match with DC United. The goal came in the 33rd minute of United’s match at home against Colorado—after the ball sort of chaotically pinged around in the midfield, United triggered a quick attacking move and Rooney finished it off ...